


A Victim To Temptation

by burn0utx



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangles, Slow Burn, Smut, Touring, Unhealthy Relationships, with at least one character anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2019-12-25 07:08:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 51,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18256283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burn0utx/pseuds/burn0utx
Summary: As Papa’s favourite Sister of Sin, Eva is often called upon to help him with his daily tasks — not excluding the more personal kind. Their relationship is kept mostly under wraps, just between the two of them, wishing to keep private matters private.How will Eva juggle her work when undiagnosed mental health issues begin to crop up, and her favourite Nameless Ghoul begins to interfere?





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An introduction to the relationship between Papa and Eva, along with some of the work they do together.

Eva was currently exactly where most would expect her to be — in Papa’s office. They’d been sifting through paperwork for what felt to her like hours, and she had long grown restless and agitated. 

“Stop fidgeting.” Papa commanded. 

“I am not.” Eva huffed in response, one of her hands yanking at the opposite sleeve of her habit. Papa simply raised an eyebrow as he gazed at her from the corner of his eye, before returning to his paperwork. Eva dropped her head into her hand, her elbow propped upon the desk. The band were soon due on tour again, so Papa had been drafting setlists and going over budgets again and again, which is why they were here now. Eva didn’t really see how she could help. Papa was the brains behind it all and if she ever did have any suggestions, she was sure they wouldn’t live upto his expectations. Her eyes scanned across the busy desk. Papa was a perfectionist, but a messy one at that. She couldn’t help but smirk at his organised but chaotic ways. 

“I trust you are coming on this tour?” Papa questioned, keeping his head down as his scribbled on a piece of paper. 

“Do you really need to ask?” Eva placed a hand on his thigh and smiled when Papa raised his head to look at her. He shrugged a shoulder but returned her smile, before looking back down at the papers. She hummed quietly, eyes moving to the paper Papa was currently writing on. Something to do with budgets. Numbers weren’t her strong point, but Papa always insisted on her helping. 

“We will have our usual Ghouls,” Papa spoke again. “And my favourite Sister. Perfezionare.” 

Eva rolled her eyes gently, but couldn’t help a smile. Papa and Eva kept their relationship private; it was nobody’s business. But they didn’t intend on being secretive, and so Papa felt free to be open about his feelings, although he mainly spoke of Eva in a professional manner. Some of the touring Ghouls definitely had their suspicions. How couldn’t they? Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil too, probably. Eva was the more tight-lipped one in their relationship, if you could call it that. Eva felt that she was more of a booty call than anything else, and Papa had never tried to convince her otherwise. She couldn’t help but catch _some_ feelings for him along the way. This had been going on for the better part of 7 or 8 months now.

Eva stretched her legs out beneath Papa’s desk and yawned. Her brain had well and truly given up on their work for today. 

“You should go rest, Sister. I know these things are tiring for you. You do not have my experience.” Papa finished writing something down before he dropped his pen and turned his attention to Eva once more. 

“I know but — I _like_ spending time with you.” Eva protested. 

“I know this well.” Papa smirked, reaching a hand out to take her chin between the tips of his fingers. Those mismatched eyes still nearly killed her, even after all this time. Eva rubbed her thumb back and forth over the fabric covering his thigh and pouted at Papa. 

“Do not try your tricks on me.” Papa scolded, although gently. He pulled his hand away from her face and swatted her hand from his thigh. “I must finish this and you must rest, as much as I love to taste you.” 

Eva felt her cheeks flush and she let out a little groan. Papa had always been blunt, but it still embarrassed her. After a moment, she raised from her seat. Papa didn’t look up again. 

“I’ll see you later?” Eva asked, as she made her way to the office door. 

Papa hummed. “Maybe you will. We will see.” 

He wasn’t exactly one for goodbyes, so Eva left it at that. 

***

Despite their relationship being kept private, there were still a few of her fellow Sisters of Sin who openly showed Eva distaste. They envied her, whether they suspected her and Papa’s relationship or not. She would sometimes hear their harsh whispers as she walked past occupied tables in the dining hall, _why does she always get chosen for the tours?_ , followed by speculation about backhanded payments, whether she was a spy for Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil, or how many times she had to suck Papa’s dick to get herself a permanent place. Eva found all of those options equally amusing, even if the last one was the closest to the truth. They were meant to bring different Sisters on each tour, but… Papa was Papa, right? So he did what he wanted and bent the rules where he could. It honestly had nothing to do with what Eva did or didn’t do with him. That was never her intention, anyway. 

Eva flashed a bright smile at some of the Ghouls who were sat down to eat. She found that out of all the members of the clergy, she got along with the Ghouls the most. She didn’t always understand their little motions or how they sometimes seemed to be able to speak in their own little language, but they always welcomed her with open arms. She wasn’t one of their kind, but they held no prejudice towards her. She got along with everyone, to be fair, but there were always those few Sisters who were jealous and spoke of her _and_ to her with spite, as well as a small handful of gossiping Brothers. Eva could easily speculate on where their loyalty was, for them to act in the same childish ways as those few Sisters did. Nonetheless, she never allowed it to bother her. 

Eva sat down at a smaller table filled with some of her fellow Sisters, as well with a couple of new Ghouls. They were much younger than the highest ranking Ghouls; the ones Papa brought along on tour. You could tell from the way they always seemed so amped up and excited, as if they’d consumed a shit ton of coffee. Their behaviour amused Eva. It was interesting to see how different the Ghouls were in varying stages of their lives. Still, they were more than likely _much_ older than her. 

Eva ate mostly in silence, her mind preoccupied with the soon approaching tour. She wondered which parts of the world she would get to see this time. It was always so exciting to her. This was basically a part of her job, yes, but she enjoyed it. And isn’t that how it was meant to be? She loved seeing the faces of the fans, too. She was always amazed by just how much joy a band could bring. It made her heart swell, to be honest. It was fun being able to play a part — even if only a small one — in the shows. Her fellow Sisters and Ghouls managed to fill her silence at the table quite easily and she listened intently and laughed along with their conversations, even if she didn’t participate. Eva glanced across the room to where the leaders of the clergy usually sat down to eat and she caught a glimpse of Papa leaving with his plate of food, no doubt to retreat back to his office and continue working. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. On the bright side, at least he was making time to eat. 

***

Sister Eva returned to Papa’s office once she had finished eating, managing to slip out of the hall virtually unnoticed. 

“Papa?” She called quietly, softly knocking on his door. She could just about hear him shuffling about inside, and soon he was stood before her. Eva smiled up at him. “How are things coming along?” 

“Ah, things are… Okay,” Papa replied and stepped aside to let Eva in. To be fair, it did look a _little_ tidier in here than it had done earlier on. She heard the door click shut and felt Papa’s presence behind her. “The budget is finished, at last.” He let out a sigh of relief and Eva felt his gloved hands come to rest on her shoulders. 

“That’s good,” She remarked, as Papa removed her veil. “Did you want me to drop the paperwork down to Papa Nihil?” She tried to stay focused, even if she could feel Papa’s breath on her neck. A shiver ran down her spine and she found herself leaning back against him. 

“No, no,” Papa spoke against her neck. “That is not so important, right now.” 

He wasn’t one to have the right priorities in mind. 

Papa pressed his lips to Eva’s neck and she sunk back further into him, her head rolling back against his shoulder. He had one arm around her to keep her upright, the other one coming to run a hand down her arm. When Papa had Eva surrounded like this, it made her feel light headed. It probably didn’t help that she had a little wine at dinner. 

“Papa,” Eva breathed his name as he dragged his tongue from the crook of her neck to the back of her ear. She could already feel his bulge against her back and she dropped her hand down to palm at the front of his pants. Papa hissed gently in her ear.

“What is it you want, cara mia? Hm?” Papa was already nudging her towards his desk and hitching up her habit before she could reply. 

“Papa, wait, your paperwork—” 

“I can deal with that later.” He pushed her forward suddenly so her front hit the desk, and Eva let out a little gasp as some of his paperwork fell to the ground. He was so disruptive sometimes! 

Eva gave her hips a little wiggle when she felt his gloved hands running up the back of her thighs. She couldn’t suppress a small giggle; the fabric of his gloves only made his actions more ticklish. A sudden ripping sound distracted her, and she looked over her shoulder to see Papa holding up her panties before throwing them to the ground. _Again, really?_ Papa only smirked at her when he caught her stare, peeling off his gloves and throwing them down onto the desk beside her. 

“Eyes forward.” Papa punctuated his words with a light slap of her behind. She wasn’t one to disobey him. Eva bit back a moan when she felt two of Papa’s fingers gliding across her slit. 

“Always wet for me. So fast. I do nothing and you…” He trailed off and Eva heard his pants drop to the ground. “Perfezionare.” 

Eva huffed when his fingers barely brushed against her clit and he pulled away. She felt his hands on the insides of her thighs, guiding her legs further apart, before he pressed himself against her. Eva felt her face flushing a deeper tone of red as he slid the length of his cock up to nudge against her clit. Her fingers dug into the desk and she let out a needy moan as he began to tease his length against her entrance. 

“Papa—” Eva whined, pushing her hips back towards him. “Papa, please, Papa—” 

He pushed into her in one swift movement and buried himself to the hilt, silencing her immediately. Eva’s jaw fell open and her breath caught in her throat. One of his hands ran down over the curve of her ass, the other one gripping onto her hip as he began to move. 

“You were saying?” Papa chuckled. Eva responded with a low moan, parting her legs even further as she tried to move her hips back to meet his. Her nails dug into his desk when Papa slowed. 

“Wait, you can’t— Papa!” She protested, a frown forming on her face as she continued to try to get him to move. “Papa, _please_.” 

“Tell me what you want.” He slowed his movements even further, almost to a complete stop. Eva felt like it was _agonising_. 

“Just—”

“No,” Papa interrupted, both of his hands resting either side of her on the desk as he came to lean over her. He dragged his tongue over the shell of her ear. “Tell me what you want.” 

Eva squirmed beneath him, her hands curling into fists. As much as she loved dirty talk, she found it difficult to do so herself. And this wasn’t even dirty talk, compared to the things Papa had said to her in the past. She tried again to get him to move, a defeated and impatient whine passing her lips as she curled her fists even tighter and dug her nails into her palms. Eva took a deep breath. She was certain her face was beet red by now. 

“Papa, fuck me, please, I — I love it when you fuck me and I can feel it the next day, pl—” 

He silenced her again by slamming into her, not just once or twice, and she responded with a yelp of his name. She knew he wanted to get the stress of the day’s work out of his system, and she wasn’t going to complain. 

“Yes, yes—” She hissed as he relentlessly thrust into her, again and again. She was _not_ going to last at this rate, and she couldn’t keep up with his movements. Eva let herself fall slack against the desk, her lips parted and her head falling to the side. Papa’s fingers were bruising into her hips. She knew there would be fingerprints there tomorrow, but she enjoyed being able to see where he had held her, where he had touched her. Papa raised one of her legs and gently bent her knee until her leg was resting upon the desk, never once slowing down even as he angled his hips differently. A string of moans were falling from Eva’s lips near constantly, and she could hear Papa cursing in Italian behind her. She could feel her orgasm building, a deep heat within the pit of her stomach. 

“Papa!” That was the only warning she gave before she hit her climax, her muscles squeezing around his length in quick pulses as she emitted a loud moan. Papa wasn’t far behind, his hips messily jerking forwards a few more times before he spilled himself inside of Eva, holding her hips tightly again his own. They both fell silent in the moments that followed, Papa leaning over Eva to support his weight, the sounds of them both trying to regain their breathing the only thing to be heard. Although, Eva soon felt her leg going dead, so she was the first to make a move. Papa pulled out of her, stepped back and dressed himself as Eva slowly lowered her leg to the floor and straightened herself out. She winced at the tension in her muscles and turned to Papa. 

“Do you want these?” Papa grinned at her, barely a hair out of place, holding up her ripped panties between a forefinger and thumb. Sister Eva scowled at him as she pulled her habit down, trying to straighten it out again. 

“ _Very_ funny.” She remarked, even when Papa leant down to kiss her forehead and threw the panties onto the desk. 

“Not much use for you now… but useful for me. I will keep them.” He still had that cocky, shit-eating grin on his face. Eva shoved at him gently and reached for her veil. She cringed when she overstretched. If she felt like this know, she could only imagine how she’d feel in the morning. Eva finished dressing herself, still trying to straighten out her habit and give herself less of a ‘just fucked’ look, when Papa spoke up again. 

“I will see you early in the morning?” It was a question, but it sounded like more of a statement. 

“Yes, Papa, definitely.” 

“I am certain you will have sweet dreams.” He smirked. He, quite clearly, didn’t always think with his brain. 

“Yes, I’m sure,” Eva stepped over to him, a hand on his shoulder as she leant up to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. The fact that he allowed such gentle motions made her heart flutter. She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and then made her way towards the door. “Sleep well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! It's the beginning of this fic, and I feel like I should address a few things before we get into it.
> 
> My translations are all done through googling along with a tiny bit of research, because I am a basic-one-language-bitch. Sorry for any mistakes! I hope you'll forgive me.
> 
> Smut. Yes. Smut. From the get go, clearly. 
> 
> Everyone experiences mental illness differently. I only have my own years of experience with a (sometimes crippling) anxiety disorder to go off of, so some things may seem out of place/different to some readers. 
> 
> I usually stick to one shots or even drabbles, so a chaptered fic is terrifying. I have written up to chapter 12 so far, and plan to update weekly or twice a week.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Church of Ghost holds a pre-tour celebration. Eva doesn't feel 100%.

The next few days went by without a hitch. Papa and Eva finished all of their pre-tour work and before they knew it, it was the day before the band would be heading out on their tour. This was _obviously_ a very important occasion, so that night there would be a special celebration of sorts. Papa and his Ghouls — the band, Ghost — were always successful in their tours. Gaining more fans all while they spread their message amongst the masses. Without being biased, Eva thought if she lived a different life to this one, she would easily fall under the spell of the band. The music was incredible. Papa was incredibly talented, not to mention the Ghouls, too. There was a reason the lineup of the Ghouls scarcely ever changed. 

Eva was currently in her room, packing her bags. It was freeing being on tour, she only had to wear the habit on stage. Here, it was the opposite, and it got more than just a little boring, wearing the same thing every day. It was a nice change. She didn’t really need that many outfits. Just casual and comfy clothes, maybe a jacket or two. It’s not like they went out and partied, or had fancy dinners or really _anything_ other than work. Which is exactly what this was, she had to keep reminding herself. It was always a fun opportunity, but it was still work. She was going to be the only Sister of Sin from the clergy on tour, this time around. Papa wanted to try bringing fans onto the stage to join in, and he had said Eva would be a good guide for them. You never know, it may end up being something they’d like to do for more than just one night. Eva hoped that the new, temporary, nightly Sisters would like her. Her relationship with some of the bitter Sisters from the clergy had soured further, now that she was the only Sister that Papa wanted to bring along for the tour. It would’ve been nice to have had some company from another Sister, but what Papa says goes. Their conspiracy theories only furthered and continued to amuse her. She held no ill feelings towards them. 

Eva was neatly folding and rolling up her clothes to place them into a suitcase. Honestly, she was so excited about this tour that she had butterflies, despite doing all of this before. She placed her Sister uniform into a separate, smaller bag that was more like a carry on, when she heard a knock at her bedroom door. 

“Come in.” Eva called out. The door opened and she looked up to see Omega entering her room. Eva glanced at the clock on her bedside table. Ah. “Oh, Omega! I’m sorry, am I running late?” 

“Not at all, Eva,” Omega smiled at her from behind his mask. “Papa Emeritus sent me to see if you were ready.” 

“Of course, I was just—” She motioned at the bags on her bed. “—needed to finish up.” 

“Are you all ready to leave tomorrow, then?” 

“I think so. Just about.” Eva nodded her head as she looked down at her bags. She couldn’t think of anything else she’d need, but she would leave her bags on her bed just in case she did remember anything later on. 

“So.” Omega held out his arm towards her. Eva grinned, stepping around the bed towards him and linked her arm up with his before they headed out of the door. She could never say this out loud, but Omega was probably her favourite Ghoul. She loved them all dearly, but Omega seemed to stand out. Not because he was like, a giant, either. He was more soft spoken than some of the other Ghouls, as well as easily one of the most polite out of the lot of them. He was kind of like a bodyguard to Papa while the band toured, never far and always keeping watch. He’d always been lovely to Eva. The Ghoul was simply endearing. Eva admired him. 

“Are you looking forward to the tour?” Eva asked as they walked. 

“Always,” Omega nodded. “I can’t imagine doing anything else.” 

“We’re lucky to have you all.” Eva smiled. She’d always felt proud of the Ghouls. They brought a special kind of charisma to the stage, never mind their musical skills. Omega smiled again, gently squeezing her arm in his. He appreciated Eva, even if he didn’t know how to convey it. All of his fellow Ghouls did, even the younger ones. 

They continued the rest of their walk in silence, enjoying one another’s company. Tonight, there would be a feast, and the band would play a few songs, as a sort of warm up. They probably didn’t need to rehearse, but this was a celebration. Why shouldn’t they play? Nobody ever tired of their performances, and the clergy always wanted to hear more and more. 

They entered the hall together and Omega soon stepped away from Eva, motioning for her to carry on inside as her gave her a little bow. Eva looked around and smiled to herself. Celebrations were already underway, it seemed. They was plenty of wine being passed around, people tucking into food, and towards the back of a table Eva spotted a young Brother passed out. She couldn’t help a small laugh. Someone would have a sore head in the morning. Tonight, all the touring members were seated on the same table, and Eva was happy that she would get to be near Papa. She walked towards the back of the hall to join her table, taking a seat opposite Omega. Of course Papa would be at the head of the table. Eva looked over at him and smiled. His gaze was fixated on her and she had to look away when she felt her cheeks heating up. Papa looked as if he wanted to devour her. It was a special occasion, but everyone was dressed the same as usual. The only difference was that Papa had chosen to wear his mitre and robes. Eva secretly thought his anti-Pope look was hot as fuck. 

They spent their evening much like everyone else did — eating a lot, drinking plenty, chatting, laughing. It was nice. Everyone in the clergy was in good spirits, rightfully so. Eva couldn’t help but tease Papa a little bit throughout their evening, stretching her leg out beneath the table to rub her foot against his. She did this a handful of times, enjoying how she could immediately capture his attention. The wine was making her feel daring. At one point, he seemed to ignore her, so she began to slide her ankle against his — only to spot Omega’s alarmed, widened blue eyes. She immediately dropped her foot to the ground, her face turning red while she mouthed ‘sorry’ to him. He blinked at her a couple of times before he nodded his head once, his attention turning back to Alpha. Eva kept her head down, although she could see Papa was smirking at her. _Of course_ he would find that entertaining. She felt _horrible_!

Eventually, their empty plates were taken away, with the only thing left on the tables being the wine. More and more wine. They had infinite wine here, though Eva wasn’t a big drinker. She’d enjoy a couple glasses every so often at dinner, and of course on occasions like these. And sometimes when Papa insisted. Soon, the band had left the table, leaving Eva on her own. She was wondering if she could sneak off through the crowds of the clergy and back to her room to catch an early night. It’s not that she didn’t _want_ to see them perform, but she wanted to be well rested for tomorrow. They would be leaving early in the morning, too. Besides, it wasn’t like she wasn’t going to see them perform who knows how many times over the next few weeks! Eva was about to slip off, when one of the younger Ghouls dropped themselves into the seat next to her, giving her a fright. 

“Isn’t this so exciting?!” He proclaimed, nudging Eva with his elbow this side of a little too hard. Eva recoiled, but gave him a polite smile. 

“It sure is.” She agreed. 

“I hope one day I get to go out and play in the band,” The Ghoul had barely let her take a breath before he carried on. “What’s it like?”

“Well… I’m not exactly _in_ the band, but it’s nice. It’s good to see all the fans, to see how powerful music can be.” Eva shrugged a shoulder. 

“Wow,” The Ghoul gasped. She wondered if he had even listened to her. “I can’t wait for it to be my turn.” And with that, he left her as quickly as he had joined her. Eva blinked after him, feeling somewhat confused by their interaction. He was _definitely_ one of the more high-energy Ghouls. Not that that was a problem, but as a human they were hard to keep up with. 

Eva took the last little sip of her wine and stood up, ready to finally make her way back to her room. She managed to reach the doors without anybody else catching her attention and was glad. Eva slipped through the doors and began to make her route down the long corridors, hoping she had escaped unnoticed. She just wanted to unwind, alone, and get that early night in. She had to admit to herself that she was feeling nervous. Her stomach felt as if it was doing little flips. Eva didn’t know _why_ she felt nervous — it’s not like it was her show or her band, and she would only be on stage for a few minutes each night, just to play her part — and trying to convince herself to calm down or to think about something else didn’t do much, either. It wasn’t anything to do with Papa. She didn’t think it was anything to do with the Ghouls. Eva decided to take the easy way out and blame the wine. That would stop her digging deeper and deeper into her own mind. It wasn’t a big deal. 

Eva sighed with relief when she closed her bedroom door behind her and kicked her shoes off. She only hoped that Papa wouldn’t mind her early night. She wasn’t exactly currently needed for any type of work duties, so she hoped that this wouldn’t be a problem. She removed her veil and cowl and tossed them on top of her desk as she walked towards her bed, her habit following. Her eyes fell onto her bags. No, nothing else was needed. Eva ungracefully shoved them onto the floor so she could flop down onto her bed and closed her eyes. She noted that her brain felt as if it was swirling. Maybe it _really_ was the wine getting to her. The air in her room was cool against her skin, now that she was mostly unclothed, so she reached down to yank her covers up and over her shoulders, snuggling down against her mattress and pillows. Almost as soon as she had gotten herself comfortable, she was dozing off. Eva thought she heard a knock on the door as she was on the brink of sleep, but decided to ignore it. It was probably her tired mind only playing tricks on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why not start this off by posting two chapters in a day?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tour begins. Papa and Eva have a misunderstanding.

Eva awoke before her alarm, at 6:40am. Much earlier than she would have liked, but it was easier to wake up without an alarm screeching beside her head. She maneuvered herself into a sitting position, when something on her bedside table caught her eye. Eva rubbed her eyes and then raised an eyebrow. A small note, left with a single red rose. She reached for both items, unfolding the note and bringing the rose up to beneath her nose. Eva inhaled gently, a small smile gracing her lips.

_Eva,  
I did not see you again last night, but I hope you have rested well. I will see you tomorrow morning._

Eva’s smile widened at Papa’s neat handwriting and signature on the bottom of the note. She twirled the rose between her fingertips. Okay, their relationship wasn’t official, nor were they all that romantic with one another… But he did manage to melt her heart. Eva was a sucker for little gestures like these. She rose from her bed and tucked the note inside her bedside table, choosing to lay the rose on top of her pillows once her bed was made. Eva was unsure if she had managed to sleep off her nerves or if her little surprise had helped, but she felt ready to start the day. Motivation renewed, Eva headed into her bathroom for a shower. 

***

_Of course_ Eva was outside the church on time, while Papa and the Ghouls were nowhere to be seen. This happened every time. She didn’t know how she hadn’t come to expect it by now. Papa Emeritus III seemed to be missing the time-keeping gene that the rest of his family had. Though he was never late to events or on stage, and that was what mattered to him. Still, Eva was raring to go. She knew the Ghouls were most likely ready, but Papa would make them wait for him. All of their bags were already in the bus, though Eva had to deal with hauling her own ones into the hold. Although her rank could be seen as higher in the church than that of her other Sisters; she most certainly was not _that_ high up. She couldn’t ask or even bribe anyone to do anything for her. Eva began to grow restless, fidgeting where she stood. _Where were they?_

It ‘only’ took the band another ten minutes to finally show up — ten minutes too long, as well as far too late, Eva had thought — and Papa had rushed everyone onto the bus. Eva thought that he wouldn’t have to rush if he had been on time, but she knew it was wise to keep her comments to herself. Nobody would like the tour to start off on a bad note. Especially not in an enclosed space like the bus, as tall and majestic as it may be. The Ghouls scarpered off towards the back of the bus to claim their bunks, which no doubt were the same ones as usual. The band didn’t often actually sleep in the bus, having a series of hotels booked and ready to go for each date already. But… for napping reasons? Eva wasn’t sure why else they would be so eager. Perhaps it was just in their territorial nature? On the other hand, it _was_ only 8:10am, and catching up on sleep did sound like a wonderful idea. With the Ghouls somewhere within the bunks, Papa and Eva were left alone. He sat himself down next to her. 

“You were tired last night?” Papa questioned. 

Eva nodded. “More than I thought.” She couldn’t help her smile. “I woke up to a lovely surprise.” 

“I didn’t see you, I was worried,” Papa began. “I came to your room and saw you were sleeping. But I am glad you liked it.” Papa took one of Eva’s hands and raised it to his lips, kissing the backs of her knuckles. “And I am glad you are well.” 

Eva rolled her eyes playfully, her smile growing into a cheesy grin. What has gotten into Papa lately? So _tender_. Luckily she was sat down, because Eva already felt weak at the knees. Papa was _not_ a tender lover, so this caught her off guard. Eva was easy for him to sway.

“So, first stop?” Eva changed the subject, before she did actually melt. 

“First we go to France.” Papa kept Eva’s hand in his own, his thumb now circling gently over her skin.

Eva raised an eyebrow at him. “And we’re driving all the way? Not flying?”

Papa blinked at her. “What is wrong with that?! You need to be somewhere fast? Why do you need to fly? I think this is a good change. The bus is more… intimate.” Papa dropped Eva’s hand and began to slide his own hand up her thigh. Eva’s eyes widened. With the Ghouls around, _really_? They both looked up when they heard the commotion of the Ghouls getting closer. Papa snatched his hand away. Eva was already blushing so hard that she thought she might be glowing. Papa winked at her and she scowled in response. How much teasing from him was she going to have to take? If they drove straight, it would take up to a day, but no doubt they were going to stop multiple times. Papa and his wicked plans, eh? 

Eva didn’t recall falling asleep, but she did remember getting herself comfortable, right in the corner of the small booth, her head against the bus window. She _had_ been up since earlier than what should be legal. Eva had that ‘dazed and confused’ post nap feeling, and for a second she forgot where she was. She took in the familiar setting of the bus, but wait — where was everyone _else_? Her eyes fell on the clock on one of the bus walls. _11:09am_. It was impressive that she had managed to nap so long. Eva wasn’t sharing the bus with the quietest of beings. She noticed the bus had stopped. _Already?_. 

Eva rose to her feet slowly, her back arching when she stretched her arms up and out. The cramped space hadn’t been the wisest place to take a nap. She smoothed her hands over her habit to straighten it out and made her way to the front of the bus. The door had been left open, and she wasn’t awake enough to prepare herself for the breeze of cool, springtime air. Eva rubbed her hands over her arms and stepped off the bus, heading towards the tiny diner-style building that they had stopped at. 

“She is here!” Papa exclaimed when Eva walked in the door. He and the Ghouls were at a table, with _plates_ of food. Like, heaps of it. They were dressed in their usual attire, and the small amount of diners who were trying to eat were giving the group weird looks. That was a part of the job that Eva always liked. People didn’t know how to perceive the group. 

“La mia bellezza, come,” Papa pat his knee. Eva thought the motion was degrading, but there wasn’t anywhere else for her to sit. She cringed internally when she walked over to the group, the Ghouls eyes on her as she sat down on Papa’s knee. “Hungry?” 

Now that she thought about it… Eva nodded her head, and Papa pushed a heaping pile of pancakes coated in syrup towards her. Papa had a sweet tooth, if it wasn’t obvious. Eva raised her eyebrow at the plate and turned her head to look at Papa. 

“You must eat.” He insisted. 

“Thank you, Papa.” Eva reached for the cutlery and cut into the pile of pancakes. There was no way in hell she’d be able to eat all of that, but she wasn’t going to refuse it. 

“We did not get a chance to eat this morning, in our rush,” Papa spoke once more, a hand coming to rest against Eva’s hip. He slung his other arm over the back of his seat. “I hope that you did?” 

Eva shook her head, waiting until she’d swallowed her food to reply. “No, not quite.”

The truth is, although the previous nights’ nerves had calmed, she still had butterflies that morning. Plus, she had wanted to get going. Eating, at the time, hadn’t been an attractive thought. She hadn’t felt hungry. That had all changed now. 

“I woke up late.” Eva didn’t want nor need Papa’s scolding. When she looked at him again she noticed his mouth was in a tight line. That usually meant he had something to say, but had decided against it. Eva noticed that everyone else had finished eating — they were probably going to make their way back to the bus not long after she’d woken up — and she felt a bit awkward. The Ghouls were chatting away in Swedish. Papa’s attention was elsewhere, but Eva knew he was listening to every word. You’d think she would have picked up more of the language by now, but she barely knew the absolute basics. Almost like a child learning to talk. It could be difficult being around such a multilingual group so often, but she didn’t mind it at all. Eva enjoyed hearing other languages, which was another nice part of joining the band on tour. It was different.

Soon enough, they had all returned to the bus and it was moving once more. The Ghouls were gathered around together — as if they weren’t nearly always together anyway — taking turns playing video games. Tetris, to be more precise. Eva had no idea why this was their tour-bus-game-of-choice. They played fairly and competed to beat each others latest scores. _Maybe_ they would bicker some and elbow each other over having the controller, but it was always kept under control. They never got vicious with one another. Eva would hate to see that. She didn’t know what the Ghouls were capable of, and she didn’t _want_ to know. Gruesome thoughts aside, she enjoyed watching them. They were an entertaining bunch. Eva was smiling to herself as she watched them, seated between — or more like squished between — a couple of the Ghouls. These guys were… _how old_? And this was the type of shit they got excited about?

Eva looked away from the TV screen when Papa caught her attention. She raised an eyebrow at him when he curled her finger at her, beckoning her to come over to where he was stood in the doorway of the bunks. _Really, right now?_ She stood up, squeezed past the preoccupied Ghouls as quickly as she could and made her way over to him. Eva and Papa slipped back into the bunks and Papa closed the door. 

“I am worried about you.” _Oh_. Papa’s words took Eva by surprise. Guess she was wrong for assuming he called her over for a quick fuck. 

“Why?” Eva was stunned. She stood before him with a dumbfounded expression. Papa wasn’t one to raise his concerns with her. He cared about her, yes… But Eva didn’t think he _actually_ cared. This wasn’t entirely new, but it was indeed a rarity. 

“You are… quiet. Sleeping a lot.” 

Eva frowned. “We’ve been working so hard recently for this tour, of course I’ve been tired. I needed that early night.” Was he seriously about to hound her for getting a good amount of rest?

“No, it has gone on longer than just these few days.” 

“Papa—” Eva didn’t know what to say. She wanted to defend herself, but she didn’t think it was necessary. She shouldn’t have to. Papa was wrong. 

“Is there something bothering you, Sister? Is it me? The Ghouls?” Papa stepped closer. “The Church?” 

Eva narrowed her eyes. She was getting defensive. Was he really implying that she was thinking of _leaving_? With all that face paint, Papa wasn’t the easiest person to read. Let alone with his damned heterochromia being such a distraction to her. 

“You think I would do that?” Eva questioned. 

“Do what? I have not accused you of anything.” Papa held his hands up defensively. They both knew otherwise. 

“Is this really all because I wasn’t there last night?” Eva could feel her annoyance building. She didn’t have a temper, but Papa knew how to press her buttons. She was the type to sit and seethe, but not this time. Eva didn’t appreciate false accusations, especially over such nonsense. “Papa.” Eva sighed, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes as she dropped down to sit on one of the bottom bunks. She _really_ didn’t want to argue.

“You would tell me if you had any… negative thoughts, yes?” 

“Yes, Papa, of course I would.” Eva dropped her hands into her lap. She felt _offended_ that he had taken their conversation down this route. Papa sat down beside her.

“Because if you have any issues, I can fix them. You are happy here?”

“I am happy. I am happy where I am, what I do — who I am.” She may have hesitated on the last part of that sentence. Papa picked up on it, she was sure, but he said nothing.

“As long as you are sure, cara.” 

“I’m sure. I promise.” 

They sat in silence for a minute. Papa was eyeing her suspiciously. He gave one of her shoulders a little pat before he rose to his feet again. Papa didn’t say another word as he left.

Eva felt frustrated with their little conversation. With the way that Papa perceived her. 

The truth is she _was_ happy where she was. The Church of Ghost was exactly where she wanted to be, where she felt she _needed_ to be. She’d heard of the horror stories and rumours of what happened to anyone who tried to secretly leave the Church or conspire against the clergy. It wasn’t nice, to put it lightly. Still, that didn’t apply to her, so she didn’t think about it. She enjoyed her job, yes, if it was really even classed as a job. She liked working with Papa. Eva was happy he chose to work with her so often, as she didn’t think she was very skilled. She enjoyed it, as stressful as their workload could sometimes be. It did tire her out sometimes, especially at times like these, where there were definite deadlines and a _lot_ to plan. Was she not allowed to be human? Eva wondered if Papa sometimes forgot that she was a mere, young mortal. She was a workhorse but only to the limits that her body and mind would allow. She was prone to becoming stressed out every now and again. That was only normal. Human.

Eva’s mind still continued to reel over Papa’s unspoken accusation. How could he think such a thing? She had _always_ been loyal, from the day she arrived at the big, old church. She had never attempted to rebel against any of the few rules that were in place. 

Eva’s paranoia quickly began to set in. Was she not good enough? Was her work not enough? Had she been slacking anywhere, even if unintentionally? What would happen if Eva fell out of favour with Papa, the Ghouls, or even with Sister Imperator or Papa Nihil? Eva dreaded the thought. She couldn’t begin to imagine it. What if she was replaced, demoted or banished? Surely that wouldn’t happen. Would it? Eva gave herself a mental kick. Her head was starting to spin, and quite honestly, it was making her feel sick. Maybe it was travel sickness? The roads could be rough. Eva struggled to get her negative thoughts out of her mind. 

Eva knew that she couldn’t stay out the back forever without raising any suspicions, but she only wanted to hide. The bus lurched, and her stomach turned in response. Eva slapped a hand over her mouth. Was she getting sick? She certainly felt it right now, and as Papa pointed out, she had been tired a lot lately. Illnesses rarely hit the church, but when they did, they were easily spread amongst the human members of the clergy. She didn’t feel right within herself. 

Eva rubbed her hands over her face in pure frustration when her stomach turned again. _What great timing._ Did the tour have to start like this?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band reach their first stop and Omega visits Eva in her hotel room. 
> 
> Papa later takes Eva on a fancy date.

Eva was glad when they’d finally reached their first hotel, in Paris, a little more than a day later. The rest of the bus journey had felt awkward and though she hadn’t cut herself completely off from Papa, she’d definitely kept some distance. Despite his words playing over and over in her mind, Eva was generally feeling much better. She hoped it would last. Eva didn’t know what had overcome her on the bus, but was glad to see the back of it. Maybe it had only been travel sickness, afterall. 

Papa had booked Eva a seperate room to his, in each of the hotels. It was for appearances sake. They both knew damn well that Papa would have her in his room nearly nightly. For now, Eva was glad to have her own space. A little bit of alone time never hurt. 

Eva ungracefully flopped backwards onto her bed, her bags carelessly discarded on the floor. She wanted to get out of this silly habit soon, but first, she wanted to relax for a while. She shimmied herself up to the pillows, and picked up the TV remote from her bedside table to turn it on. Eva had never been one to watch a lot of TV. She didn’t know what was good, what was popular, or _anything_ , really. Even if she had been the type of person to binge watch shows, she was usually too preoccupied with work. She sure as _hell_ did not understand French, either, so she was glad to have subtitles. 

Eva barely had ten minutes to herself when a knock on the door disturbed her. She willed herself to get up. A visitor, already? Why so soon? Papa didn’t need work that needed to be done already, did he? Eva didn’t bother to look through the peephole when she opened the door. 

“Omega. Hi.” She stared up at the tall Ghoul, bewildered by his sudden visit. 

“Eva,” Omega smiled beneath his mask. “Hi. Can I come in?” 

Papa’s mismatched eyes killed her, but Omega’s deep blue ones were equally as brutal. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind, her cheeks already twinging a faint tone of pink. “Um, yeah, of course, come in.” She stepped aside to let the Ghoul into her hotel room. Eva didn’t mind Omega’s company at all, she was just surprised to see him so soon.

“So…” Omega started, rubbing the back of his neck. Jeez, had it always been this tense between them? Eva gave him a reassuring smile. “Papa’s worried about you—”

“Oh, so he sent you?” Had Omega seriously come here to do Papa’s dirty work?

“No, actually. I agree with him. I came by myself.” 

Eva pursed her lips. So not only did she have to convince Papa that yes, everything was absolutely okay and to please get off her case, but now the Ghouls were ganging up on her too? Wonderful. 

“I already discussed this with Papa. I don’t want to go through it again.” 

“I think differently to Papa. I don’t have the same concerns,” Omega began to explain. “You don’t seem like yourself.” 

“I don’t follow.” Eva spoke flatly. What was he trying to get at? 

Omega stepped closer to her, and Eva had to remind herself not to step back. She knew Omega was kind and wasn’t at all ill-intentioned, but he was still a Ghoul, and an intimidating one at that. It was as if her human instincts were kicking in. She kept her feet firmly planted on the floor. 

“Look, I know you and Papa are close. I don’t know if there’s something going on, if you’re not working together well, if you’re disagreeing—”

“Hold up,” Eva interrupted, holding a finger up. “Omega… without being rude, I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

Omega was silenced for a moment but he stepped forwards once more. Eva felt dizzy. She raised a hand up to hold her forehead. 

“And you’re trying to tell me that you’re okay?” Omega placed a hand over hers. Eva didn’t answer. She just needed a minute. Eva closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of Omega’s hand over hers, both atop her forehead. Warm. Nice. 

Omega sighed and opened his arms. “Come here.” 

Eva blinked at him a couple of times before she stepped forward and allowed him to envelope her in his arms. Her arms wound around his middle and she let most of her weight lean on him. Omega was a good hugger, she knew this already. One of his hands rubbed up and down her back gently and she closed her eyes once more. _Warm. Nice_. Ghouls were, perhaps surprisingly, very cosy. 

“Is there any chance you might be getting ill?” Omega’s voice was filled with concern. 

“No, I don’t think—” Eva was starting to feel like Omega worried about her more than Papa did. Secretly, she didn’t mind the attention. “Maybe, like, homesick, or something?” 

“Hm. Maybe that is it.” Omega replied. “You know, it isn’t a problem if you feel like you need to go home.”

Eva pulled her head back enough to look up at him. That sounded like an offer of dismissal. “Absolutely _not_. I’d much rather be here.” 

And truth be told, she didn’t mind where she was right in that moment, either. Omega gave her more affection than Papa did, and sometimes that was nice. Even if it was only platonic forms of affection. It warmed her soul.

“I hoped you would say that. It would be weird without you. You’re pretty much a part of the band. I think we’d be lost without you here to keep an eye on us.” Omega laughed. Eva smiled in response, longing their hug out some more before she was the first to pull away. 

“Thanks, Omega. That means a lot to me.” 

***

Their first show of the tour wasn’t until the next night, so for tonight, Papa had made plans for dinner. Just for the two of them. Eva was anticipating the night ahead.

Eva found that she had a spring in her step since Omega’s visit to her hotel room. He’d managed to cheer her up, despite Eva not understanding what her issue was in the first place. The Ghoul was the type of being to light up a room with his presence. He always perked her up with ease.

Papa had sent Eva another one of his sweet and neat little notes, requesting Eva to be ready by 8:30pm. He’d had a dress delivered along with the note. Eva hadn’t packed anything overly formal, but the dress he had sent was to _die_ for. It was only a rental, but Eva dreaded to consider the price tag. It was long, typically black, and just oh so sleek, with a low scooping back and thin straps for her shoulders. Eva was in awe of the dress. How did Papa know how to leave her so speechless? He could be a real romantic when he felt like it. It didn’t take much for him to knock Eva off her feet. 

Eva didn’t dress up often, so she debated and struggled with herself on how to complete her look. The dress was beautiful alone, but she knew she couldn’t turn up to dinner with crazy hair and tired looking skin. She could only wonder where they were going if they were required to be so dressy. Eva didn’t apply a lot of makeup — she _adored_ the looks some of her fellow Sisters could pull off and only wished she had the same sort of skill — and left her hair down to curl and fall wherever it may. She did pin one side back behind her ear, but that was it. Eva found herself briefly wishing she had one of her Sisters on this tour, so they’d be able to help her look totally banging and give her a solid opinion. She didn’t want to look like she was trying too hard, but who was she kidding? Eva wanted to play it off cool. She thought she looked decent. She hoped that Papa would agree. 

Eva wasn’t surprised when Papa was late, but was surprised that he was only late by five whole minutes. That was a good, new change. 

Eva opened the door and couldn’t help her blush when his eyes travelled the length of her body. Papa sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Bellissima.” 

“Thank you, Papa. You’re not so bad yourself.” Eva grinned. She felt flattered that Papa looked at her in such a way. 

Papa still had his usual makeup on — she was sure the other people in the restaurant were going to appreciate that — as well as his black gloves with the golden claws. He had a completely black suit on, head to toe. Honestly, it looked great on him. And it was clear that the two of them matched. 

Papa plucked Eva’s room card from her hand once the door was closed and placed it into a pocket inside the jacket of his suit. He laid a gloved hand on the small of her back and began to guide her down the hallway, his eyes still roaming over her. 

“This fits well, yes?” 

“Yes, Papa. Perfectly.” 

“I did well.” Papa smirked. Eva emitted a small laugh. 

“You made a good choice. This dress is beautiful. Thank you.” 

The two of them stepped into an elevator, and Papa pressed the button for the ground floor. He turned to her as soon as the doors closed. 

“Bellissima, yes. You.” He gently tucked his thumb beneath Eva’s chin and tipped her head up to kiss her.

Eva always wondered how he didn’t transfer any makeup onto her, apart from when they were _really_ getting down and dirty. Papa deepened their kiss, never one to waste any time, when the doors dinged open. He gave Eva a small, smug smirk and returned his hand to the small of her back. He held her gaze for a moment before they both walked out of the elevator. Usually, for events or private functions, the Ghouls would accompany them. Tonight, Papa only hired his usual chauffeur — the bus driver, believe it or not — and a single bodyguard to keep watch. This was more discreet. 

Eva wouldn’t use the word normal. Nothing was normal with Papa around. Especially when out in public. Why did he even need a guard? Eva would have to ask him one day.

The two of them stepped outside and Papa guided Eva towards a waiting limo. _Of course_. Why was he always so _flashy_? The guard held the door open for them both to climb into the back. After shutting them in, he made his way to the front of the car to seat himself beside the driver. 

Papa made himself comfortable beside Eva and casually slung his arm over her shoulders. Eva noted that he was already being very touchy tonight, but she wasn’t going to complain. She shifted herself so she could be closer to him, their hips almost pressed together. Papa placed his free hand on her thigh. Eva leaned her head against his shoulder and allowed herself to inhale his scent. She didn’t know what kind of expensive cologne Papa wore, but he always smelled fantastic. Eva felt more than content right here.

“You haven’t even told me where we’re going.” Eva said, after a few more moments of silence between the couple. 

“I don’t need to,” Papa stated, looking down at her. “I am sure you will enjoy it. You trust my decision?”

“Of course, Papa. I’m just curious.” 

“It is not too far,” Papa patted Eva’s thigh gently. “You will see soon enough.” 

***

Papa was right. They arrived at their destination after maybe another twenty minutes. Again, the guard got the door for them, but he didn’t follow them inside. 

Eva preferred it this way. If Papa and her were going to have dinner alone, then she wanted it to be _alone_. Not alone with one, two, or sometimes five pairs of eyes watching from afar. This was a rarity and she was determined to enjoy her night. 

Papa led Eva inside the restaurant. Once they reached the podium, a waiter immediately led them far back into the venue. Eva observed her surroundings as they walked. It was a nice place. Dimly lit, a good size, tables mostly for two, some for four, and few for six or greater. Flashy but small chandeliers. Quiet classical music. Reservations only. Eva’s eyebrows raised once they reached their table. 

“Wow.” She stated, as she sat down in her seat. This was _private_. They were along the back wall, where there were a few tables each within their own little section, with a thin sort of curtain for privacy. Eva was truly amazed. She had never been to an establishment quite like this before!

“Papa, this is… Wow.” 

“I am glad you like it, Eva.” 

A shiver ran down her spine. Papa didn’t often use her actual name. She couldn’t help but wonder what he was up to. 

A waiter appeared as soon as they were seated, leaving a couple of bottles of wine on their table. One of Papa’s favourites, Eva noticed. Lord knows — whether above or below — that she couldn’t pronounce the name of the wine. Eva reached for her menu while Papa poured them both a glass of wine. She knew Papa would be greatly amused when she tried to pronounce the names of the dishes. 

“So. What do you have up your sleeve for tonight?” Eva asked, once she had decided on what to order. 

“Up my sleeve?” Papa questioned, incredulous. 

“What’s the meaning for all of this? The occasion?” Eva vaguely gestured towards the rest of the restaurant with an arm. 

“Occasion?” Papa tilted his head at her. “The occasion is you.” 

Eva’s mouth opened, and then swiftly closed again. _What?_

“Cara… Eva... I wanted to apologise,” Papa leaned forward over the table, taking one of Eva’s hands in both of his. “I was not very fair to you while we were travelling. I did not mean to offend.” 

Was this turning into a night of Eva being left speechless and gawping at Papa like a stupid goldfish? She was beginning to think so. 

“Wait—” She started. “And you did all of this, because—” Eva shook her head. Papa nodded.

Eva was in total awe. She didn’t know what to say to him, or what to even think, to be fair. Papa was doing all of _this_ simply because they’d had a disagreement? 

*** 

By the time they had finished eating their main course, Eva was only starting her second glass of wine, while Papa was on what… his fifth? Sixth? Papa was a well kept together drunk. So much so that Eva wondered if he ever felt more than just tipsy. Maybe it was a tolerance thing. 

Eva brought her glass to her lips and took a sip of the dark red liquid, raising her eyebrow at Papa when she caught him staring at her. 

“Dessert?” Papa asked. 

Eva hesitated before she shook her head, her free hand gliding over her stomach. Stuffed. “I think I’m good, Papa. Apology accepted.” 

Papa smirked at her. “I am glad. But I think I know what I want for dessert,” Papa stood up and quickly stepped around to Eva’s side of the table. He offered his hand out to her, but leant down towards her ear before she had a chance to stand up. “It isn’t served here.” 

“I wonder what that could be.” Eva laughed until she was silenced by Papa snatched her close against his body, giving her a crushing kiss. Eva melted into him, gripping onto the lapels of his suit for dear life. When he finally pulled away, she gasped to get some air back into her lungs. Papa smirked at the effect he had on her.

“Come.” He stated, throwing back the curtain and beginning to lead the way back through the restaurant. Eva gripped onto his hand and allowed him to pull her along. His kiss was more intoxicating than any wine could be. Neither of them noticed any of the strange looks they were given as they wound their way through the tables and out of the restaurant. To be honest, Eva’s mind was still preoccupied with the fact that tonight had been all for her. Papa had been becoming more romantic as of late. She wondered if he was ill. Eva giggled at the thought as they returned to their car. 

“What is so funny?” Papa asked as they both clambered back into the limo.

“Nothing.” Eva insisted; though her giggles fell short when Papa cornered her against the curve of the seats. She gulped. Papa smirked once more at her sudden change of demeanour. He knew _exactly_ what kind of effect he had on her. Eva’s breath quickened when he leaned in closer to her, a hand travelling up the inside of her leg. 

“My dessert.” He stated. He would never ask. He didn’t need to ask. Eva thought she’d already soaked through her underwear. Papa gave Eva’s shoulder a light push so she fell back onto the seats. He swiftly got onto his knees in between her legs. 

“Wait!” Eva tangled a hand into the back of Papa’s hair and yanked him upwards, her mouth claiming his in a fierce kiss. She moaned against his lips when he returned her kiss, her grip on his hair loosening. She felt like a silly teenager again, making out in the back of a car like this. She pressed her hips up against Papa’s, moaning once more as his tongue slipped into her mouth. Papa hitched Eva’s dress up to her hips while she was distracted and dropped a hand between her legs. He started to slowly rub her through her panties with his fingertips. 

Eva gasped when Papa pulled away from her lips and began to shuffle himself backwards. He placed his hands beneath her legs to push them further apart, planting a gentle kiss on the inside of each thigh. Then, he tipped his head forward and dragged the tip of his nose up the crotch of her panties. 

_Holy fuck_. Eva dug her hands into the leather seats, gritting her teeth when she remembered the two men in the front of the car. 

Papa didn’t waste any time, pulling her panties down until they were midway down her calves. He pressed his teeth into one of her thighs and Eva let out a surprised squeak, her legs involuntarily trying to close in response. Papa’s hands gripped her thighs, pushing them out and up. Within seconds Papa’s mouth was between her legs, his tongue languidly licking over her in long, slow strokes. Eva sunk her teeth into her bottom lip and her hands grabbed a hold of Papa’s hair once more. She began to roll her hips up, trying to convey that she needed _more_ and she wanted it now. Still, Papa kept his pace slow, only changing it up every so often to circle the tip of his tongue around her clit — close, but not close enough. 

“Papa!” Eva gasped. Damn being quiet to hell. “Papa!” She called out again. That seemed to do it. 

Papa pressed his face further between her legs and used his grip on her to yank her further down the seat. Eva’s fingers continued to tangle further into his hair when his tongue began to move faster against her. She arched her hips up when his tongue finally grazed against her clit, unable to help the string of moans that followed when he repeated his motions. Eva was beginning to rock her hips up against his mouth, little gasps and moans helplessly escaping her. Papa firmly pressed the flat of his tongue over her clit and her hips jolted. Papa’s fingers were digging painfully into her skin, but she couldn’t care less. She enjoyed when he left marks and bruises over her skin. Eva began to yank on his hair. She was trying to chase that high. Nobody had ever been able to get her off as fast as Papa could. Neither of them had any complaints. 

“I’m—” She tried to warn as her hips bucked upwards. With Papa still tormenting her clit, it didn’t take Eva much longer to hit her peak. She moaned out his name when she reached her climax, her head slamming back into the seat. She rode out her orgasm, her hips jolting and twitching as they pleased.

Papa pulled back and released her legs when Eva finally fell back against the seats of the limousine, her chest rising and falling quickly. He couldn’t help a smug smirk while he pulled her panties back up her legs and readjusted her dress. Eva was vaguely aware of his fingers stroking up and down the back of one of her trembling legs. It was a great effort to even sit up again. 

“Papa,” She began to giggle when her gaze fell on him. “Your face.” Eva reached a hand out, her thumb swiping at some of the smudged black makeup around Papa’s top lip. Papa was unfazed, sliding an arm around her middle so he could pull Eva into his side. 

“That does not matter. We are nearly at the hotel. You are satisfied, and I am too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another little sprinkling of smut...  
>  Papa's apology definitely seemed to "go down" well. Heh.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first show of the tour arrives, and Eva suffers severely with an oncoming anxiety attack.

It was finally the day of the first show of the tour. 

Eva had, typically, woken up in Papa’s bed. She was surprised to find him still there. Although, clearly he had already been up and showered, seeing as he was dressed for the day and not still beneath the sheets with her. Papa had a book in his hands. Eva observed him with a smile and snuggled closer to him. They very rarely ever woke up in the same bed. Papa was usually gone before Eva could rise. Eva assumed he wasn’t a post-coital cuddler. She wanted to take advantage of a rare moment like this. 

“Ah, cara mia. Awake at last!” Papa exclaimed, placing his book down on the bedside table. 

“What time is it?” Eva murmured sleepily, hiding her face in his side. She felt a little bit disappointed that he still didn’t reek of last night’s cologne. Eva yawned and willed her eyes to stay open.

“11 in the morning. I think you needed your beauty sleep after last night.” She didn’t need to look at Papa to know he was smirking. One day his face would get stuck like that.

“11— _oh_.” Eva sat up quickly, holding the sheets up around her naked body. “That’s late.” 

“Do not worry,” Papa’s voice was calm. “We do not need to leave for the venue for a little while longer.” 

Eva knew that was only half of the truth. Papa liked to get to venues early, even if it was unnecessarily so. She needed to get up and get ready for the day. Eva’s eyes scanned the room and she spotted Papa’s discarded suit jacket from last night at the end of the bed. She snatched the black jacket up, slipping it over her shoulders before she ungracefully clambered out of bed. Papa was watching her, amused. He had seen it all before, but she didn’t like to parade around in the nude. Eva dug into her suitcase — when did it even end up in _Papa’s_ room? — to pick out some clothes for the day. Without another word, Eva made her way over to the bathroom. She could still feel Papa’s eyes on her the entire way. 

Eva closed the door behind her. She took a second to bring Papa’s jacket up to her nose and breathe in. She couldn’t get last night out of her mind. Papa had a romantic side when he wanted to show it, even if it was rare. She felt special whenever he treated her in such a way. Lucky. Eva briefly wondered if Papa’s age was getting to him. Who takes someone out to a place like that as an _apology_? She never saw it coming, and she was sure she wouldn’t forget it. She had loved her date with Papa. 

Papa hadn’t withdrew his attention from her all night. He’d spoken to her so sweetly, using almost all of the pet names he could probably think of, and she had been putty in his hands all night. Their dinner was delicious. The food was to die for. He’d picked a beautiful place for their little date.

Eva had wanted the night to go on forever. She couldn’t exactly complain about the ride back to the hotel, either. Her face flushed at the memory. Eva couldn’t believe the way she had behaved knowing there were two other men in the front seat of the limo. Getting eaten out in the back of the car somehow made the evening feel even more romantic. The fact that Papa wasn’t going to wait, for her? Eva felt spoilt. 

Everything last night had been for her sake and pleasure, even if it was unnecessary. Papa had clearly put a lot of thought into their night, from his little note, to the dress, to the restaurant, to the transportation and the privacy they had. And he was still in bed with her this morning. 

Still, Eva didn’t want to get used to it, as Papa wasn’t _that_ kind of man. She was favoured, she knew that, but he could still drop her in a heartbeat. Everyone knew that Papa was a sexually charged man. Romance wasn’t his thing, although he did it well. 

Eva snapped herself out of her thoughts. She shrugged off Papa’s jacket and gently hung it on the back of the bathroom door. She needed to get ready for the day ahead.

***

The Ghouls were bickering. Over what? Who knew. Eva was too busy trying to flick through some shitty celebrity gossip magazine in an attempt to pass the time. She knew that these sorts of magazines were full of lies and just general shit, but they were still entertaining. 

They were all on board the bus, on their way to the venue. Eva didn’t get involved when the Ghouls fought amongst each other. Even if it didn’t look vicious, she knew it wasn’t a good idea to get in between them. They never argued for long, but when it was all of them going at it at once, it certainly worried her. It was incredibly intimidating. Eva was happy to just observe. 

Eva raised an eyebrow when Papa stood to step in between them, his hands outstretched in front of him. Papa knew that the Ghouls argued over the pettiest shit. Still, with their nature, they could build petty things way up high into something explosive, and nobody wanted that. Especially before a show! Papa would surely go insane. Eva couldn’t _imagine_ how he’d react. She’d seen him become overwhelmingly angry only once before, and she had made sure to avoid him for two whole days afterwards. It was truly frightening. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like if Papa _and_ the Ghouls were all mad at the same time.

Whatever Papa said to them this time had seemed to work. Eva glanced up from her reading material as the Ghouls quietened down, even if they were still giving one other the side eye. Eva’s eyes locked with Omega and she flashed him what she hoped was a friendly, reassuring smile. He seemed to accept and return her smile. Eva couldn’t help but notice that Alpha was glaring daggers at Water. She had to stifle her laugh. She didn’t feel like having her head ripped off today.

Soon, they arrived at their destination. Obviously, the bus wasn’t very incognito. There were a few loyal fans already at the venue, so they noticed the band pulling up straight away. The band, along with Sister Eva, rushed off the bus and towards a side door at the venue. It wasn’t that they didn’t like the attention — far from it — but Papa preferred to leave things like meeting fans, photos and signing things until after the show. Eva didn’t know his reasoning. Maybe it killed his pre-show mojo? 

Hanging around at the venue in the hours leading up to show time was the most boring part for Eva. It wasn’t as if she had to rehearse or sound check, or practice anything again and again and again. The band probably didn’t need to either, to be fair. Just in case. Eva enjoyed watching them practice, but… they were _hours_ away from being on stage. At least five or six hours. 

Eva usually found herself watching the band for a little while, but then she would go for a wander around the venue, just to check it out. She wasn’t needed or required to unload gear or help set up, so she had to busy herself somehow. A lot of the venues had cool memorabilia like tour posters from other bands and artists who had played there. She loved seeing all the different band names along with the artwork. Some bands she recognised, some she didn’t. Some she would make a mental note to check out at a later time — shitty short term memory be damned. 

Other times, Eva would slip outside for some fresh air. It helped to calm her nerves. She used to enjoy taking a short walk, only around the block, but fans had started to catch on to her. Some of them would recognise her from previous shows. They knew she had something to do with the band, so they would understandably approach her. 

Eva didn’t mind when maybe one or two fans came up to her, but anymore than that and she would feel intimidated. Cornered. The majority of them were nice, and she enjoyed speaking with them. They understood the no photos policy.

Every now and then, you would get a fan who tried to sneak their phone or camera out, or would ask questions that Eva either couldn’t or wasn’t allowed to answer. Encounters like those were extremely uncomfortable. Eva would do what she could to make a quick escape. Still, as far as she was aware, her face wasn’t anywhere on the internet just yet. 

Some fans would try to give her gifts to pass onto the band. Truthfully, she didn’t mind taking them. They weren’t her fans, but it was still nice to make them smile. She would try to pass on the gifts as soon as she returned to the venue. 

Unfortunately, Papa had soon put a stop to her little walks. She had only wanted to explore and pass some time. Apparently it was for security reasons. Papa didn’t own her, but Eva wasn’t about to disobey him. It was easier to silently agree with him and move on. Passing the time now had become a real pain in the ass. 

***

“Go!” Eva hissed to Papa. Show time. 

Eva was dressed in her habit once more, ready for her little part in the show. Even though she wore these habits _all the damn time_ back at home, it felt weird to wear them after dressing like an ordinary civilian. 

She smiled to herself when Papa strolled out onto the stage to join the Ghouls, all full of cocky self confidence as usual. Eva enjoyed watching the show from the side of the stage. It was a different, rarer perspective, even if the sound kinda sucked from over here. She could watch both the band and the fans. She could see _everything_. Plus, she was out of sight, out of mind.

Eva looked forward to seeing which fans would join her later on, for their little one-song-act. If she couldn’t meet them outside the venue anymore, she could still meet them for this. Eva loved seeing how joyous and excited the fans were when they were picked out from the crowd. She knew it meant a lot to them. 

***

As the band got closer to Body and Blood, Eva noticed she was feeling somewhat shaky. She had only eaten a couple of hours ago, so it couldn’t be that. Eva figured it must have been her nerves. They hadn’t toured in a while. She hadn’t been on a stage in a while. It was _okay_ to be nervous. Eva wasn’t like Papa or the Nameless Ghouls. They were naturals. This was what they were made for. 

A couple of fans had been brought backstage during the last song. Eva helped them get into their habits and their veils. They wore the outfit over their own clothes. Venues were pretty hot and sweaty and Eva wondered how they didn’t suffocate beneath their layers. 

Eva gave the two fans a quick rundown of what they were going to do, even if Papa was only going to explain it himself on stage. They probably already knew it all, anyway, but Eva thought it was better to go over things and be sure. Eva reassured the two chosen girls that they looked great — honestly, they did — and that any nerves they had were okay. 

Eva wished she could only take her own advice. Truthfully, she felt like she could vomit. Eva quickly pushed aside her cowl and placed the back of her hand against her forehead. What was going on with her lately? She had no idea what her problem was, or why her body was fucking with her so much. Eva readjusted her cowl and sucked in a deep breath. These random spells of… what even were they? Sickness? Were clearly not normal. Maybe it was just because it was too hot in here. Maybe it was only a coincidence. The air was very thick and stuffy. Along with the heat, it wasn’t very comfortable to breathe.

The band still had another song to play before Eva and her new Sisters were to join them on stage and descend towards the crowd. Eva busied herself with the two sisters again to distract herself from her mystery ailment. Ella and Danielle. She had to keep reminding herself of their names. 

“So, it is kinda freaky when you have people lunging at you,” Eva began, dramatising and mimicking the reactions of the front row fans. Ella and Danielle giggled. “But I’ve never had anyone actually grab hold of me. They just want some freebies, you know? A memento from the show.” 

“How many times have you done this?” Ella asked. Ah, yes. Ella was the one with the American accent. That was how Eva remembered to not mix up their names.

“Well… A few times.” Eva shrugged a shoulder. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, or seem as if she was bragging. 

“I’ve seen you at shows before. Are you part of the band?” Clearly this wasn’t Ella’s first show. Eva wished she could recognise regular fans. Papa was usually good at that, but then again, he had a better view than she did. 

“A part of the band? No, not at all.” Eva laughed gently. It was an absurd thought to her, but she could see why someone else might think that. 

“Are you Papa’s girlfriend?” 

Eva’s laughter soon stopped and she raised her eyebrows. She was in shock at such an abrupt question. Alarm bells began going off in her head. 

An inquisitive fan, or a journalist? How was she supposed to answer a question like that? She _wasn’t_ exactly Papa’s girlfriend — he had never asked her to be — but their relationship was… Well, she would label it sexual. But after their dinner the other night, she was unsure. 

“Is that a yes?” 

Eva opened her mouth to answer, but failed to speak. She shut her mouth again and frowned. Eva glanced to the side of Ella, at Danielle, and noticed her shocked expression. So Eva wasn’t overreacting if she thought Ella’s question was too out there? It was nice to see she wasn’t alone. 

“I-I don’t need to answer that.” Eva stammered when she finally spoke up. She felt embarrassed. It was only a question, afterall. Just a curious fan. Couldn’t she just lie? She took a deep breath in another attempt to calm herself. 

Eva could feel herself quickly beginning to spiral. Her heart thumped in her rib cage. She could hear it inside her own head. Sweat was continuing to gather underneath the brim of her veil. Eva looked down at her hands. 

“Hey, you don’t look so good.” Danielle spoke up.

Ella raised her eyebrows at Eva. Eva heard their cue to join the stage. She could feel a lump in the back of her throat. It was becoming increasingly hard to breathe and her throat was dry. 

Eva stepped between the two girls and placed her shaky hands on the centre of their backs, giving them each a gentle nudge towards the stage. Papa was looking over at them, waiting for them to join him on stage, and Eva couldn’t stand to look at him. 

“Go on without me, I need to—” Eva was breathless. What the hell was going on? She felt as if her legs would give out beneath her. Her lungs were screaming. “Remember what I said!” 

With that, she quickly turned away from the two girls and rushed off, away from the stage and down one of the hallways in the venue. 

The two girls gave Eva an odd look, shrugged at each other and proceeded onto the stage. 

Eva threw herself into an empty dressing room, collapsing against the door as she ripped off her veil and threw it to the floor. 

She placed a hand flat against her chest. It felt as if her heart was going to break out of her rib cage at any given moment, and she could still hear it thumping in her skull. 

Eva sucked in a deep breath through her teeth. Her jaw was almost painfully tense and her chest stuttered as she tried to breathe. She felt sick. _So sick_ , right down to her stomach.

Eva held her hands out in front of her and watched them tremble. _What was happening_? Maybe she was dying? Maybe this was revenge for her life of sin, from whoever may be up in the heavens, if they really existed. Eva could feel her eyes stinging with tears and she messily wiped at them with her fingers, eye makeup be damned. 

She wanted to run, wanted to hide, wanted to go home, back to the church. She could hear the rumbles of the band playing through the venue, and it only added to her sickness. What were they going to do? What were they going to say? The show must go on. 

Eva clutched at her chest, tilting her head back to rest against the door. She couldn’t help it when her tears began to freely spill down her cheeks. Eva let out a small, pained wail, and buried her face into her hands. 

***

Papa was _pissed_. So pissed that he fired up at Eva as soon as the band’s set had finished. 

It took him barely five minutes to find her. Eva knew he would be annoyed, but not _this_ much so. She had been trying to play it cool, despite her tear stained face, puffy eyes and bright red nose. Until Papa had taken hold of her arm and pulled her away from prying eyes, into the hallway. It wasn’t private enough. 

“Where were you?” Papa hissed, cornering Eva. He kept his grip tight around her arm. Eva stared up at Papa, the lump in her throat returning. Eva could feel Papa’s anger just radiating from him. She had never had Papa so angry at her, and she was wracked with fear. 

“I-I—” Eva swallowed. She swore she could explain. “I had to — I wasn’t feeling wel—” 

“Not feeling _well_?” Papa spat. “And that gives you reason to skip the show? You are here for work, not for play.” 

“I’m sorry, Papa—” Eva could feel her lower lip trembling. Her eyes were filling with tears again, as much as she tried to blink them away. She felt pathetic. Weak. She despised showing signs of weakness. _Especially_ to Papa. 

“You know how much goes into these shows,” His grip on her arm tightened. It was only by a fraction, but it was enough to make Eva flinch. “And you think you can run whenever you want? You can go for a walk and not work?” 

Eva’s cheeks were damp, but she made no move to wipe her tears away. His eyes were full of fire, and she tried to turn her head away from him. She couldn’t bear this. She felt hopeless. Why couldn’t he understand? She wasn’t trying to sabotage the show! This was all a huge misunderstanding. A mistake.

“I thought this was a good idea, to bring you and no other Sisters. It was wrong of me; you need babysitters to watch over you.” 

“Papa—” Eva’s breath hitched when she tried to conceal a sob. She could handle herself just fine. Well, she had thought so before tonight. “Papa, _please_.” 

“I cannot trust you? Sister, I thought you knew better. I am not so sure.” 

“You can trust me,” Eva slumped against the wall where Papa had cornered her. She forced herself to look at him once more. Her head felt light. “I’m _sorry_ , I promise. It wasn’t intentional, I didn’t know what to do!” She spluttered on the next sob and raised her free arm to wipe her sleeve over her face. 

Eva couldn’t care less about how pathetic she must have looked in that moment. She just needed Papa to understand. She meant no ill will! 

“All you can do is beg for forgiveness and cry? Maybe next show we won’t need you.” 

Papa’s words were like a knife, cutting through from her chest to her stomach. _Next show we won’t need you_. His words killed her. She felt like she could keel over. Eva hadn’t felt emotional pain like this in a long time. 

Her breathing was growing more irregular, all patchy and broken up. Eva was already in a fragile state from when she had made the choice to skip the show. It was a choice, yes, but it wasn’t one she had exactly wanted to make! She didn’t mean to put a dent in Papa’s perfectly planned schedule. 

Eva truly was sorry, whether Papa believed her or not. She brought a shaky hand up to pry Papa’s hand away from her arm and then clasped his hand between both of her own. Papa hesitated while he eyed her, but then snatched his hand away. Eva’s heart sunk further when he gave her a final glance and then walked away. 

Papa had barely made it around the corner when Eva gagged, her nausea and dry throat overcoming her. She quickly turned around, bracing herself against the wall with an arm while she let her forehead lean against the cool concrete of the wall. Eva closed her eyes and slapped her hand over her mouth when she felt her nausea rise again. Her eyes squeezed shut and all she could do was muffle her cries. All she wanted was to impress Papa. To please him. To be his best Sister. She was a failure. 

A hand on her shoulder startled her, and Eva spun around with a yelp. Her eyes fell on Omega. He was holding his hands up as if in surrender. Eva couldn’t help it when she immediately began to cry again. Was he here to punish her, too? 

Omega sighed. Eva was a sorry state, alright. Omega carefully reached out to her and pulled her into his arms. Eva fell into him, letting her body shake with sobs, openly and freely. She didn’t care how ridiculous she looked. She had already ruined her reputation. 

Eva couldn’t get enough air into her lungs, so all she did was cling onto Omega for dear life. Her hands were fisted into his coat and that was where all her strength lay. Omega said nothing. He only held her, rubbing her back and quietly humming a song. He would let her come around in her own time. 

Eva didn’t know how long it took her to collect herself again. It felt like hours, when realistically it was probably only… ten minutes? Maybe twenty tops? She’d had a good cry, that was certain. Eva loosened her grip on Omega’s jacket and flexed her now stiff fingers. She swiped a hand gently over the wet patch on his jacket and looked up at him, her bottom lip sticking out. 

“S—” She squeezed her eyes shut and sucked in a deep breath as well as she could, opening her eyes when she tried to speak again. “Sorry.” She gave his jacket another wipe. 

“No, don’t apologise,” Omega shrugged a broad shoulder. “It’s fine, really. My concern lies with you.” 

Eva looked down at her feet, embarrassed and ashamed. She couldn’t believe she had dared to bail on the show. On the band. On Papa. Omega reached out with both hands to gently wipe at her swollen face with his thumbs. Eva’s breath caught in her throat. 

“It’s okay,” Omega reassured. “Can we talk about it? Would you like to?” 

Eva sniffed loudly. She was such a pathetic mess, all snotty and tear stained and _gross_. Eva looked up at him again and hesitated. 

“But Papa?” 

“Papa’s decided to get a car on his own.” 

Ah. A true sign that he wasn’t happy.

“How about we go back to the bus, get back to the hotel, and you can tell me all about it?” 

Eva hesitated again, but relented. Omega snaked his arm around her back and began to lead her back through the venue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for angst. Send help.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omega does his best to comfort Eva. Papa visits Eva later on, but her feelings remain conflicted.

The bus journey back to the hotel was in nearly complete silence. The Ghouls spoke to one another in hushed Swedish every so often, their eyes flickering back and forth to Eva. She couldn’t understand them, but come on. They couldn’t make it more obvious that she was the subject of their conversations. Eva didn’t care. She was too busy wallowing in her own self pity. They seemed worried, she gathered that much from their body language. 

Eva wondered if they’d heard anything from Papa. She wasn’t going to ask. Maybe she would get kicked off the tour. Eva snorted at the thought, laughing quietly to herself. The Ghouls all looked at her with widened eyes. Yeah, she was definitely going batshit insane. 

Eva was the first one off the bus, but stuck around to wait for Omega while he spoke to his fellow Ghouls for a few more minutes. Once he was off the bus, Eva clung to his sleeve like a lost little child. She let him lead her into the hotel, into the elevator and up towards her room. She’d already handed him her key card so Omega could lead the way. He didn’t rush her, nor did they talk during the short walk, though every now and then Omega would look down at Eva to make sure she was okay. Eva didn’t have anymore spontaneous fits of crying or laughter, for the time being. Maybe later. 

Omega ushered Eva into her room, stepping in after her and closing the door. Although Eva was no longer crying, she was still sniffling away. Her eyes hurt. Her nose hurt. Her chest hurt. Her bones ached with exhaustion. 

Eva made her way over to her bed and sat down at the edge. She felt a tiny bit better, now she was back at the hotel, but still horrific overall. Her silhouette was entirely miserable. Omega came to sit beside her, his head cocked to the side as he watched her sulk. 

“So.” Omega urged. Nothing. “What happened?” 

Eva cleared her throat. “I’m a disappointment.”

“ _No_ ,” Omega sighed. “Just — start from the beginning.” 

So Eva did. She relayed to him her nerves from earlier that night. How she was talking to the fans — Ella and Danielle — backstage, and she felt unwell. How Ella had questioned her. Questioned her relationship with Papa. Eva described every feeling she’d had — it was too hot to breathe, she felt sick, she didn’t know what to say or what to do — and how it had come to a head when they were due on stage. She’d sent the Sisters on without her and ran. Eva had felt so sick and awful, she couldn’t stand to be on a hot stage with all those people looking at her. If she’d fucked up, Papa would have had her head on a pike. It felt like that now, anyway. She delved into when Papa had found her and how angry he was. How she’d felt then. What he’d said to her. 

“I can’t believe I disappointed him like that,” Eva sighed dramatically. “How I disappointed all of you. Papa will probably expell me. Banish me forever.” 

“Don’t be silly,” Omega’s voice was soft and calming. The voice of reason. “You know how Papa plans everything so perfectly. He’d even flip his shit if a single light didn’t come on.” 

“But he said—” Eva’s chest suddenly felt tight and breathed in sharply. If she _was_ dying, she wished that death would just take her right there and get it over with. “He can’t trust me, and the next show — m-maybe I won’t be at the next show—” 

Omega threw his arm over Eva’s shoulders and pulled her into his side. Eva leaned into him, her heart pounding away. She wanted to cry, but she also didn’t want to cry _again_. To be honest, she didn’t know if she even had any tears left in her.

“You know how Papa gets when he’s angry.” Omega tried to soothe her. It didn’t do much. 

“But what if he meant it?” Eva looked up at Omega. She was met with those deep blue eyes, filled with concern. It hurt her heart. 

“What would he do without you, really?” 

Eva blinked up at Omega. Seriously? “Get another Sister. A better one. A loyal one.” 

Omega rolled his eyes at her. “Stop being so ridiculous. He could only wish to find someone as hardworking as you. A lot of the other Sisters are only interested in him for one thing, you know? They wouldn’t be getting a lot of work done.” 

Eva looked down at her lap in an attempt to hide her blush from Omega. She knew that. She also knew that a lot of people within the church thought that was why _she_ worked with Papa. She enjoyed working with him. He was easy to work with. Their strange relationship was only a happy little accident, like an added bonus. A relationship that was perhaps no more. Omega’s hand was back to rubbing soothing circles on her back. Eva closed her eyes. It felt good and helped to ease her distress somewhat. 

“Papa cares about you a lot more than you think, Eva. There’s a reason he calls on you so much. You’re good at what you do. The fact he only wanted to bring _you_ along on this tour says a lot, I think. He wouldn’t get rid of you. He just says stupid shit in the heat of the moment, you know? He’s fiery, even when he shouldn’t be.” 

“Thank you.” Eva murmured. She was still wallowing in self pity, but Omega had helped. A lot more than she had thought he could. Eva was trying not to think too hard about the events of that night. Feeling shitty would be an understatement. 

“Hey, Omega?” She raised her head after a few moments of comfortable silence between the two. 

“Yes, Eva?” Their eyes locked again. This time Eva didn’t feel so bad. 

“Can you stay here with me tonight?” 

Omega’s eyes widened at her request and he hesitated. Eva could see his mind going a mile a minute. 

“It’s just… You’ve helped me a lot tonight, and I’ve always enjoyed your company.” Eva shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t want him to take it like _that_. Maybe it was a stupid thing to ask of him. He probably wanted some space to breathe. Eva knew her little breakdown had been pretty intense. It would be a lot for anyone to witness. 

“Okay.” Omega finally agreed. 

“Are you worried about Papa?” She couldn’t help but ask.

“No, well— No. I’m sharing a room, so. Alpha…” 

“He’ll know where you are, right?”

“Well, yeah.” Omega paused and then rubbed the back of his neck. “I told the others. Not exactly about what was going on, but they were worried about you. I hope you don’t mind.” 

Eva shook her head. “Of course not. I think it was obvious I was feeling pretty fucked up. I could feel you all staring straight through me on the bus.” 

“Yeah… Sorry about that.” Omega sounded embarrassed. He didn’t need to be. Eva understood that the Ghouls were all worried about her. 

“Don’t be,” She shook her head once more. “It’s nice to know that some people are looking out for me, you know? Even if you don’t need to. You don’t need to worry.” 

Omega didn’t believe the last part of her sentence, Eva could tell. She chose not to care. She was fine. Well, _something_ was up, but she was sure it was nothing, really. She’d be over it soon enough. She was just trying to settle back into the touring lifestyle, right? Either that, or she had a stomach bug or something. They always threw her off. 

Eva shuffled herself closer to Omega on the bed and wrapped both of her arms around his middle, trying to squeeze him with the little strength she had left. She was so tired. Exhausted. He patted her head and she had to hold back her laughter. Ghouls had funny ways of showing affection. 

“Thank you, Omega. I really do appreciate you. What would I do without you, hm?” She smiled to herself and buried her face against his shoulder. “Sorry I cried straight through your clothes, too.” Not to mention how her nose had been streaming. 

“It’s fine, really. I could never leave you so upset. It’s a horrible thing to see.” His fingers combed through Eva’s hair and she smiled. “Do you need a drink or anything to eat?” 

Eva paused. Yeah, her throat was fucking _dry_ alright. She made a move to stand up but Omega stopped her with a hand. 

“No, let me. You need to relax.” Omega left his place on her bed and walked over to the mini fridge in her room. He took a bottle of water from it, unscrewed the cap and returned to Eva. She quietly thanked him before she took the bottle from him and took a little sip. Then a gulp. Then half the bottle had gone. Eva wondered if she’d somehow cried all the water from her body. She knew it was over dramatic. 

“What if I run you a hot bath?” 

Eva shook her head. She felt gross and probably did need a bath, but… “No, thank you. I feel pretty tired. I just wanna relax, right here.”

“Of course,” Omega nodded quickly. “Anything you want.” 

Eva smiled at him, took another drink of the water and then placed her bottle on the bedside table. She slid herself up to the top of the bed where she propped the pillows up to lean back against them. Eva patted the spot beside her. Omega obliged after kicking off his shoes. 

“Perhaps you should get some sleep?” 

“Soon.” Eva promised. She _really_ just wanted those special Omega cuddles for now. 

Eva moved herself closer to him. He outstretched an arm so Eva could snuggle into his side. Something in the back of her mind told her that this was wrong. Omega was only comforting her. Papa wouldn’t mind, would he? Well, he wasn’t here, so he didn’t exactly want to know. And the way he had left her… 

Omega could probably class as one of her closest friends, even if she didn’t know much about the Ghoul, or about _any_ of the Ghouls. They were a secretive bunch. Eva had known Omega for the longest, out of all of the Ghouls. They’d just started acknowledging one another every day, and eventually started talking to each other. 

Eva lifted her head to rest it on top of Omega’s bicep. She was feeling cold, now that she was growing more and more tired. Omega was all nice and snuggly. For the first time that evening, she felt content. 

***

Eva couldn’t remember actually falling asleep. When she awoke the next morning, Omega was still there, right next to her. That was the first thing she’d noticed. The second thing she noticed was her killer headache. Eva groaned to herself, startling Omega, and buried her face into his shoulder. 

“Eva!” Omega jolted, his voice filled with panic. “What’s wrong?!”

“Headache.” She mumbled. Eva wondered if this kind of headache had a name for it; the kind you get after a lot of hard crying. Was it a tension headache of sorts? Eva felt Omega thread his fingers through her hair and she sighed against him. That felt good. It had been a long time since anybody had touched her so tenderly. It was calming to her. 

“Do you need anything?” 

“Nuh uh,” Eva yawned. Her head hurt like hell, but she was still so, so tired. “I’m good here.” 

With Omega quietly stroking her hair, it wasn’t long before Eva was out again. 

***

Eva awoke to voices this time. She could hear Omega, and… Eva frowned and opened her eyes. He wasn’t on the bed anymore. She lifted her head to look around and spotted Omega at the other side of the room, near the door, and on the phone. You’d think with these Ghouls being so ancient, that they wouldn’t have the knack for technology. It was quite the opposite. Omega was speaking in his mother tongue but Eva heard her name once or twice. He’d had his back to her but it was as if he’d sensed her watching him. Omega looked over his shoulder at Eva’s form on the bed and said his goodbyes down the phone. He put down the hotel phone — couldn’t you only get room service with those things? — and wandered over to her. 

“Hey,” Omega spoke gently. “How are you feeling?” 

“Yeah, much better.” Eva slowly sat up. Her head didn’t hurt so much now, but she could still feel it faintly pounding. She looked towards the clock on the bedside table. 10:37am. 

“The guys are worried about you.” Omega motioned in the direction of the phone. The guys meaning the Ghouls, of course. 

“Ah,” She said. “I’m… Better than yesterday.” Eva still couldn’t bear the thought of facing Papa today. “Is there another show tonight?” 

“Yeah. A different venue, though.” 

Okay, so she wouldn’t have to revisit the same place where all the shit went down. That made it a little better. Still, Papa’s words from last night echoed in the back of her head. Eva looked down at her hands in her lap. Wait, she’d fallen asleep in her fucking _habit_? That was the least of her worries. 

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No.” Eva quickly shook her head. “I appreciate all your help, though, Omega. I think it’s better if I do the talking. It was _my_ fuck up.” 

“It wasn’t a fuck up.”

“Well… Okay.” Eva didn’t want to argue with him. She didn’t need to get one anyone else’s bad side. “Did you get any sleep?”

“A little.” Omega shrugged a shoulder. “We don’t need as much sleep as you humans do. I got enough.” 

“I hope I haven’t been keeping you from anything.” 

“Of course not, silly.” Omega chuckled. “Although, I do need to leave soon. Will you be okay here?” 

“Yes, I’ll be fine.” She smiled at him. Eva wasn’t sure how truthful her own words were, but she did feel a lot better compared to the previous night. She was a big girl. She didn’t need a babysitter. “Go now, it’s okay. I need to have a shower and get changed, anyway.” 

Omega hesitated. “Okay.” Another pause. “Well, you know where I am if you need me.”

“I know. Thank you again, really. You’ve helped me a lot, Omega.” She was so thankful to have him. 

“Alright.” Eva thought she heard Omega sigh, but he was already on his way to the door. One final turn. “And I’ll see you later?”

“Yes. I think so.” 

With that, Omega left her room, and she was finally alone. 

Eva emitted an exaggerated sigh and fell back into her pillows, closing her eyes. She really could do without today. She could not be bothered at all. Her bones still ached. She thought her soul did, too. Every single fibre of her being hurt in some shape or form. 

Eva shut her eyes, deciding another half hour of lazing around would suffice. If she got more sleep, it meant she had more time to avoid her responsibilities. Right now, that seemed like a wonderful idea. 

***

Eva was getting ready for the show, deciding it was for the best, when a quiet knock at her hotel room door disturbed her. 

Eva’s shoulders slumped when she opened the door. 

“Papa.” Eva tried to remain cool and calm, as if she wasn’t still bothered by yesterday’s events. Who was she fooling here? 

“Cara, Eva…” Papa trailed off. “May I come in?” 

Eva stepped aside to let him into her room. She closed the door behind him. Papa took a look around her hotel room before he turned to face her. He didn’t look angry anymore, at least. It still hurt Eva to look at him. 

“I am sorry for last night. I was too harsh on you.” Papa stepped closer to her and reached a gloved hand out to stroke her cheek.

Eva had to try not to flinch. She wasn’t comfortable with this, with him waltzing on in and apologising, probably expecting her to fall to the ground at his feet. Yet, he was still her superior, no matter what. Her Dark Excellency. Eva couldn’t be rude to him. Especially not when things were already so volatile. 

“Okay.” Eva didn’t accept his apology. She wasn’t going to force herself to. Eva was biting her tongue. 

“You know I would love for you to join us tonight. You are already dressed for the show.” Papa motioned to her habit. “I trust you are feeling better today?”

Mentally? Eva had just about checked out. Physically? She felt even worse. Her emotions from the previous night had well and truly kicked her ass. She was too old for this. Eva wasn’t going to lie to him, so instead, she chose not to answer. 

“You have every right to be angry at me. I did not choose my words wisely.” Papa sighed. “I did not think, I let myself speak and I didn’t consider my words. I respect you, Sister, but last night I acted like a fool.”

Eva continued to give him the silent treatment. She was determined not to let him back in so easily. This was the second argument they’d had on the tour, and they were only on the second show! And this one had been much worse than their first little misunderstanding. 

“I will leave you be. I hope to see you there tonight.” Papa chose not to play into her games. He walked to her door and let himself out of her room. 

Eva began to well up once Papa had left her be. _Not again_. 

She waited until she was sure Papa would be out of ear shot and then let out a short, frustrated scream. The other hotel guests were sure to appreciate that, but Eva couldn’t find it in her to care at that moment. Her frustrations were bottled up and overflowing, plus she didn’t have any kind of coping mechanism to assist in dealing with her own feelings. Eva knew how batshit insane she’d looked over the past few days. She needed to get a grip. 

One on hand, Eva was glad that Papa had apologised, but on the other hand, was it really sincere? He’d already taken her out for a fancy dinner once this week, as an apology. How many apologies was she going to get during the span of this tour? How many times would he try to buy back her love?

Was Papa being genuine? Deep down, Eva felt like he was. He wouldn’t lie to her, would he? But then again, Papa was known for doing whatever he had to do, to get things to be in his favour. Eva hoped that Papa didn’t see her like that. She hoped that she meant more to him than something to be twisted to his will. 

Eva soon found herself wishing Omega was still with her to comfort her once more. She shook her head. Omega was a busy Ghoul. There was no time for thoughts like those. Eva took a deep breath, finally left her room and shoved her key card into the pocket of her habit. The bus wouldn’t have left just yet. She would join them tonight. 

***

Eva stayed at the side of the stage, within sight of the band this time around. Papa kept glancing in her direction fairly often, along with Omega. The other Ghouls were keeping an eye on her, too, giving her little nods every now and then to acknowledge her. If she was honest, it did help. It made her feel more confident, like this was where she was meant to be. And she did feel better tonight. Honestly. 

Even when she was with that night’s Sisters, she felt fine. Barely any nerves, just the usual. She could tell the two chosen girls for tonight were nervous, though. Eva gave them her usual advice, and this time she really meant it. She believed it herself. She felt good about the night. 

At Papa’s cue, Eva entered the stage with the Sisters. Papa introduced the three of them — without any names being used, of course, they were simply three Sisters of Sin — and once the music started, they descended from the stage into the space in between the barrier. Eva could feel her nerves slowly building up in the cramped space and she turned her head to look towards the stage. Papa was focused on the crowd, while Omega winked at her. The small gesture helped to ease her nerves. 

Before long, the song was over, and Eva guided the two Sisters backstage to help remove their habits. She thanked them and said goodbye, and they returned to the crowd, back to their friends, ecstatic with a story to tell. 

***

“Eva!” Papa strolled right up to her when the band had finished their set and left the stage. “Bellissima!” 

Eva still didn’t know if she was in the mood for his shit or not, but she much preferred him like this. She could put up with a happy Papa. His hand drifted down her spine, his touch feather light. He then leaned forward to press a quick peck to her cheek. 

Eva didn’t want to accept his affection just yet. She was still upset with him, but she knew she couldn’t show it. Not here.

“I knew I could count on you.” He said, a sincere smile on his lips. Eva returned it, despite her true feelings. 

“Thanks, Papa.” It was better to have his approval than to be in his bad books. Life was easier this way. For all of them. 

Eva could only _try_ to be a good liar. If he saw through her, it would spell trouble. If she was honest and told him she wasn’t over yesterday and to leave her alone, she thought that would also spell trouble. There wasn’t an easy way to win in this situation. 

Papa leaned down to Eva’s ear to whisper to her. Eva’s eyes were glued on Omega’s as he left the stage. “Maybe we can go back to the hotel, to my room and… celebrate?” 

Eva’s jaw clenched and she tore her gaze away from Omega. “Thanks, Papa, but I really need to get back to my room for a shower. I’d like an early night.” 

Papa observed her and pursed his lips. Eva smiled, though she knew he could see straight through her. “Fine!” Papa stepped back. “I will get you next time.” 

That old dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I feel like we're finally getting more into the swing of the story now??   
> Thank you all again for reading. <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eva's struggles continue to worsen when she discovers Papa's little secret. The Ghouls grow increasingly worried about her.

Eva was pleased to finally have some peace when she returned to her room that night. A nice, long, hot shower was exactly what she needed. She stood under the spray for who knows how long, letting the bathroom steam up. Eventually, she willed herself to turn off the water. They’d be leaving for another country tomorrow morning, so a relaxing evening ahead sounded like a good plan. Especially since she was still trying to clear her head. 

Eva changed into a comfy pair of pyjamas and some fluffy socks and went back to her room. There was a movie on the TV, the screen being the only thing to light the room. She dived into her bed and curled up beneath the blankets. For a hotel bed, it wasn’t too shabby. She’d had worse. This one was actually comfortable. Eva bundled herself up and sank into the fluffy pillows. Perfect.

Half her focus was on whatever shitty movie this was, and the other half was elsewhere, as it often was as of late. Eva was trying to think of anything _but_ Papa’s harsh words from that one night, even if she was back on his good side again. He certainly wasn’t back in her good books just yet. No amount of attempted wooing was going to change that.

Eva was filled with self doubt, along with some self loathing to top it all off. She was glad Papa had apologised, but… his choice of words had been strong. This was something that was going to stay on her mind for a while. All Eva could do was try not to pick holes in herself, but she was finding it difficult. If Papa forgave her, then she needed to have a positive mindset, right? If only it was that simple. 

Eva sunk further into the bed, smushing her cheek against the pillows on the other side. She managed to catch the scent of Omega. Like fresh laundry. He prioritised his cleanliness. Eva obviously appreciated it. 

She thought back to when Omega stayed with her last night. It was nice to be able to share a bed with someone _and_ remain clothed. She’d slept wonderfully with him there. It had been a long time since she’d shared a bed with someone platonically. Eva had been vaguely aware of his presence while she had slept. She appreciated that he’d stayed with her. 

Eva felt as if she didn’t know what she would do without Omega. He seemed to know all the ways to calm her. How to make her happy. Almost as if he could manipulate her. It was odd, in a way. Then again, Eva allowed him to.

Omega was an entire new level of comforting. Eva pressed her face further into the pillows and sighed, almost dreamily. She found herself wishing he was there again that night to keep her company. The Ghoul was like some sort of guardian angel. Watching over her, helping her to get settled, making sure she was comfortable, that she was okay. Who ever would have thought that you could liken a Ghoul to a any sort of angel?! It was an outrageous thought, but it was true. 

And the way he kept his eye on her tonight while the band performed? Omega didn’t need to do that, but Eva was thankful that he had. It was a nice gesture. 

Eva’s heart fluttered. Her eyes snapped open. _No_. She pulled away from ‘his’ side of the bed quickly, aghast at her very own reaction.

But before long, she had pressed her face back into those pillows, and allowed what little she had left of Omega with her to lull her to sleep. 

***  
Eva tossed and turned as she slept. She was having an awful night. Her emotions had taken over her so much that they were now manifesting in her dreams. 

In this nightmare, Papa was taunting her. He had told her she was too emotional, and he was sending her back to the church. His words had been gut wrenching. Eva thought that Papa’s apology had been genuine, so why was he turning on her like this? When Papa left her be, Eva turned around to find Omega behind her. He held her gently at arms length, and then began to lean in.

Eva awoke with a start, sitting upright in bed. What the _fuck_ was that? She looked around the dark, empty hotel room, willing her heartbeat to slow down. She was still on tour. She was in her hotel room. Papa hadn’t sent her back. Everything was how it should be. 

Eva glanced at the clock beside her bed. 2:54am. She raked her fingers through her hair and then fell back into her pillows, staring up at the ceiling. 

Eva wondered if she was starting to slowly go insane. First all these mystery illness flare ups, now she was having these fucked up dreams — what was going on with her? And that one part of the dream just before she woke up? 

Eva rubbed at her eyes harshly and yanked her bed sheets up and over her head. Her mind was spinning again, and she knew it would be difficult to get back to sleep. It was going to be a long night. 

***

The next day, Eva could barely stand to look at either Papa or Omega. Her silly dream continued to weigh on her mind. She was just so _confused_. Eva felt betrayed by her very own brain. Digging up her current fears, along with some fucked up imagery to boot. How could she think of dear Omega in such a way? 

This tour was not going well for Eva, but she would grin and bear it. 

Eva ate breakfast downstairs, in the hotel restaurant. She must have been on her second coffee by 8:30am. Caffeine wasn’t strong enough to wash away her sorrows, but maybe it could kick her mind into gear. She really needed the extra boost today. 

Eva interacted rarely with the other Ghouls, especially not with Papa, finding that her dwindling amount of coffee in the cup was more entertaining. A waiter came over to offer a refill, but Eva politely declined. They were about to leave, anyway. Their bags were all packed up and on the bus, ready to go.

Eva was eager to get on with their journey. She was the first one on the bus and she took her usual seat, right in the corner, by one of the bus windows. She enjoyed watching the world go by as they travelled. How things changed from country to country. And when she sat here, she was usually surrounded by the Ghouls, so she got to share their warmth and of course their company. That was always a plus! 

Papa was working, as he often did to pass time on the bus, so he sat away from them. Eva nearly cringed when Omega chose to sit right beside her, her dream from last night rushing back into her mind. It was almost as if she could see it playing out in front of her very eyes. Alpha took the other side of her, so she was stuck between the two tall guitarists. Trapped, for the time being. 

Eva wondered if she should start logging her dreams, to see if they had any affiliation with her moods. Not right here, where prying Ghoul eyes were. Maybe later, if she felt like it. She really needed to start bringing some decent entertainment along on these long rides. 

***

At some point, they had crossed another border, into a new country. Germany. Eva was too busy living in her head to notice when they’d crossed the border. She noticed from the peripheral of her eye that Omega kept glancing towards her. Worrying about her, no doubt. Every time she even thought of his name, her dream popped back into her mind. Tainting his name. How could she think such a thing about a sweet Ghoul like Omega? He wasn’t interested. Besides, it was just her mind playing tricks on her. 

“Evaaaa.” She snapped out of her trance at the sing-song version of her name, quickly looking around. The Ghouls were all staring at her, perplexed. “I said, do you want anything to eat?” Oh, Air. 

“I’m alright, Air. But thank you for the offer.” She flashed him a quick smile. He nodded once in return. 

The majority of clergy members weren’t incredibly polite to the Ghouls. The Ghouls were obviously something else, so they were treated as that. It was pure prejudice. Eva wasn’t like that, believing it was better to treat everyone the same way. It didn’t matter who or what you were. Some sneered at her for her attitude. Though the Ghouls seemed to appreciate her approach and that was what mattered. 

“Eva,” Her name came again, this time from next to her. She looked over at Omega. He was speaking in a hushed tone. “Are you okay?” 

Her dream flashed to the forefront of her mind once more and she briefly froze. Eva didn’t want to lie to Omega, but she couldn’t tell him _this_. The bus hit a pothole and Eva’s stomach lurched. 

“I think— I think I’m gonna be sick—” 

Alpha let out a strange mixture between a yelp and a squeak and promptly leapt from his seat to let Eva out. She rushed out from her corner seat and hurried towards the toilet on the bus, slamming the door shut behind her. She leaned over the toilet, her hands clutching the bowl while she tried to breathe, her stomach continuing to turn. 

The wild part of her brain was screaming _pregnancy symptoms_ but she knew that wasn’t possible. Papa wasn’t careful, but Eva was. What else could it be? A little demon, Virgin Mary style? Eva couldn’t help a quiet laugh at her ludicrous idea. If only anyone could see her now, bent over a toilet and laughing to herself. Papa probably _would_ boot her from the tour if she carried on this way. 

***

Eva dashed into the elevator so she could take the ride up to their hotel floor on her own. She’d come up with a stupid idea, but Eva thought it was wonderful. It wasn’t like she had been thinking straight lately, so this wouldn’t hurt. 

The smart idea? To fuck away her frustrations and her hurt. Maybe she just needed to reconcile physically with Papa. Maybe that would make everything better and strengthen their bond. Eva knew that Papa wouldn’t turn down her offer, either. She didn’t think he was at his room yet, so she was going to wait for him, to surprise him. A good dicking down always made her feel good. It made her all dopey. 

Eva stopped abruptly outside Papa’s door when she heard him curse from inside the room. When had he got here? Was he okay? She opened her mouth to call out to him and raised her first to knock on the door, when she was stopped again. 

She caught onto the sound of Papa’s moans and she felt frozen in place. A woman’s voice followed. Eva’s blood ran cold. It seemed that Papa had the same idea as Eva, only she wasn’t the person he had in mind. 

Eva’s jaw clenched and she swiftly turned to escape back to her room. _How could he?_

Eva fiddled with her key card, her eyes brimming with tears. It hurt. It hurt, so much. Eva knew they weren’t in an exclusive relationship, and she felt stupid for letting it hurt her like this. She just needed to get this stupid card to swipe—

“Eva!” A voice called out from down the hallway. She hurried to open her door, but she couldn’t see straight. Her vision was blurred. Footsteps grew closer, and she managed to finally get the door open. She raised an arm to wipe over her eyes, and just as she went to step into her room, a hand caught her wrist. Eva looked up. 

Alpha. Fuck. She thought she’d gotten back to her room unseen. Apparently not. Eva drew in a deep breath. She didn’t want to be rude, but she really just needed to be alone right now. 

Alpha’s eyes were wide with worry. 

“Sister, you’re…” He gave her wrist a gentle squeeze. “What’s going on?”

Eva couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t tell anyone. She knew what the Ghouls suspected of her and Papa’s relationship, but that didn’t mean she had to or even _wanted_ to confirm it, especially not now. Eva kept her mouth shut. 

“Has somebody hurt you?” Alpha’s eyes narrowed. The fire Ghoul was extremely protective of all those he held dear to him. Alpha’s eyes scanned over her, looking for signs of injury. Hurt, yes, she mused. Physically, no. 

“No, I…” Eva wiped at one of her eyes with her free hand. “I’m okay.” 

“You don’t look okay.” 

“Well, I’m okay.” Eva gave him her best smile, despite her watery eyes and the single tear that trailed down her cheek. Who was she kidding? 

Alpha paused. “Do you think a doctor could help?” 

Did Eva hear that correctly? “You _what_? I said I wasn’t hurt! I’m—” 

“Come on. Don’t you see it, too?” 

Eva glared at Alpha. Of course she had been doing a piss poor job of hiding her recent state. The Ghouls had seen everything. They’d seen all her moods on this tour. They’d barely seen her smile or laugh. It was obvious that she was a wreck. Eva chose not to answer. She wished she was a better actor. 

“I don’t want to leave you on your own. Come.” Alpha released her wrist and instead wrapped arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side. 

He slowly led her down to his room where Eva hesitated outside the door. Omega shared a room with Alpha, she recalled. Eva didn’t want Omega to see her like this _again_. Alpha picked up on her hesitation. 

“Omega won’t judge you. You know that.” He tried to reassure her. That wasn’t her main concern. She just felt so _embarrassed_. Eva had been in such a pathetic state lately. 

Alpha opened the door to his room and gently guided Eva inside. Omega was lounging lazily on the couch. His head rose when he heard the door click shut. 

“Eva?” His eyes widened. 

“I think she needs some company.” Alpha piped up. Omega sat up properly, swinging his legs down so his feet were on the floor. He patted the seat next to him and Eva did her best not to _mope_ over to him, and plopped herself down in the seat. 

“Do you want something to eat?” Omega placed his hand on Eva’s forearm and she jolted. _Stop it_. He tilted his head in confusion, but didn’t remove his hand. 

“No, thank you.” 

Omega didn’t know what to say to her. He studied her in silence. Alpha came over to sit on the other side of her. Their silence quickly grew awkward.

“I, uh, suggested—” Alpha began. “That maybe we could get Eva a doctor?” 

Eva sighed. What was this, some sort of intervention? “There’s nothing wrong with me.” 

“You humans are never that simple.” Alpha stated. Omega’s eyes were running over every inch of her, much like Alpha’s had earlier on. 

“Oh. _Oh_.” Both Alpha and Eva looked over at Omega, when he broke the silence. What was wrong with him? “Gravid?” 

Alpha and Omega were staring at each other with wide eyes. _What on Earth?_ They both looked down at her stomach. 

“ _No!_ ” Eva shouted when she caught on. She almost sprung up from her seat. “Fuck, no. Absolutely not. You don’t think I already thought of that?” 

“How can you be sure?” Omega asked. Eva cringed. Seriously?

“I am _careful_ , thank you for asking.” Did she really need to go into depth about her sex life? That was the last thing she wanted to talk about. The Ghouls stared at one another again. 

“Guys, I’m just — homesick.” An excuse, yes, and one that she was starting to believe herself. That seemed to be the only possible reason. “Please.” 

***

Eva wanted so desperately to skip the next show, the following day. She had been actively avoiding Papa. Eva didn’t know how to face him. She only wanted to literally kiss and make up with him, but was left with her hurt increased ten fold. It wasn’t like she could accuse him of cheating. 

She needed a way to straighten out her thoughts and feelings with him. Eva couldn’t avoid Papa for much longer. She bided her time, sitting on her thoughts. How was she going to talk to him about it? What could she even say? Eva wanted to be mature about it. No arguing. Definitely no more crying. 

The most interaction Eva had with Papa that day was on stage. He had stalled when he introduced her and the Sisters that night, keeping her on stage a little longer to have some more interaction with her. Papa knew she had been avoiding him. 

Eva knew that he was watching her throughout the entirety of the song, instead of playing up more to the crowd. Eva wondered if he knew what her problem with him was. Papa wasn’t an idiot. 

Once they arrived back at the hotel, Eva caught Papa by his hand. 

“I need to speak to you.” 

Papa eyed her suspiciously before agreeing. “Okay. My room?” 

Eva nodded. The short journey up to his room was in silence. A very tense silence. He let Eva into his room first. Eva looked around. She didn’t know what she expected to find. Some sort of evidence? When Papa closed the door, Eva tried to muster up all her bravery and turned to face him. Was she scared? Hell yes. 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Papa stated. Eva nodded her head. 

“Papa, I…” She took a deep breath. _No crying_. “I know we’re not in an exclusive relationship, but…”

His mouth twitched. Eva’s gaze fell to the floor.

“I didn’t know that you had others.” She had to say it, despite not being able to face him.

“Others? Ah, so you saw?” Not quite. Heard? Yes. “Others are nothing. Just a quick fuck.” 

A pang of jealousy struck her, only adding to her hurt. Did he have to put it so bluntly? 

“How often?” She asked. She was digging her own grave. Setting herself up for more hurt. Eva was here to clear any negative feelings, not to add to them. But she needed to know, for peace of mind. Papa wasn’t hers, she knew that. It wasn’t something she liked to think about. 

Papa shrugged his shoulders. “Not much. Very rare. Sometimes I need someone and I cannot find you, Sister, you are busy. Or I want it quick, no strings.” 

“Do you use—” Eva cringed. It felt silly, but she had to ask for her own safety. “Are you being safe?” 

Papa laughed and made his way over to her. He threaded his fingers through the side of her hair, his fingertips gently brushing over Eva’s scalp. His eyes were on hers. Papa leaned in closer to her and lowered his voice.

“I only come inside you. The others are not so lucky.” 

Eva’s cheeks flushed and her breath hitched. She didn’t need to know the _details_ , but fuck, something about the way he said it felt weirdly romantic to her. She subtly brought her legs closer together. She’d come here to _talk_ , to tell Papa that she was upset and hurt and… Now? Eva had fallen back under his spell. He captivated her. She thought she would always be weak for him. Just one touch, one look, and here they were. 

“They are quick. They do not stay. I get what I want and they leave. You? You stay, sometimes. I do not mind. I give you it all. Too sweet for me.” Papa tightened his fingers in the back of her hair and pulled her head back, leaning over her to give her a bruising kiss. 

Eva reached out to grab onto his shoulders, unsteady on her feet from the pure force of his kiss. At first, she wanted to pull away, to tell him this was wrong. She wanted a proper apology, and for him to stop trying to sway her like this. Eva gave in though, and almost immediately kissed him back, moaning against his lips. 

Part of her couldn’t _believe_ she was like this; putty in his hands and accepting of him sleeping with other women, whether rare or not. She needed to put him in his place and stop falling for him. He couldn’t keep winning her around like this. This was wrong.

The other part of Eva didn’t care. She was in too deep. She needed Papa to survive. She was addicted to him. The lust was coursing through her veins like fire. 

Papa pressed her back against the table and hitched one of her legs up to his waist. He stepped between both of her legs when she wrapped them around him, pressing his hips against hers. Eva moaned into the kiss again and tightened her legs around him, trying to pull him impossibly closer. 

It was like being love drunk. All her hurt and time spent crying seemed to disappear into thin air, as if none of it had ever happened at all. She felt grounded again, here, in Papa’s embrace, even with him rutting against her. He pulled away from the kiss and pressed his lips to the shell of her ear. 

“I will show you what you mean to me.” 

Eva didn’t doubt that at all. Her mind was growing hazy. It didn’t take long for lust to totally consume her, when she was with Papa. It took no time at all for her to turn to putty in his hands, a writhing, moaning, begging mess. 

Papa hitched her habit up quickly and all she could do was cling onto him for dear life. Papa wasted no time in discarding her panties, his mouth now on her neck. She rolled her head to the side and let out a low hiss when he bit down right above her pulse and pressed two fingers into her at the same time.

“It takes nothing for you to be so wet for me, cara…” Papa’s voice was husky, his breath hot on her skin. She whined in response and Papa bent his fingers, causing Eva’s hips to jolt forwards. She dug her nails into his back. Papa moved his fingers torturously slow, the pad of his thumb only brushing against her clit every now and then. Eva writhed against the table and tried to raise her hips up. God, she needed _more_. 

Papa tutted. “Always so impatient, hm? Look at you.” Papa chuckled and pulled his fingers out of her. 

Eva looked up at him right as he pressed his fingers into his mouth. She was surprised she didn’t come right there and then. 

Papa hummed appreciatively before pulling his fingers from his mouth. He dropped his hands down to undo his pants, barely bothering to remove them before he was back between Eva’s legs, towering over her. Eva had wondered in the past if he actually owned underwear. 

Eva reached out to take his length in her hand but Papa slapped at her wrist. 

“Not today.” He said, positioning himself so he could tease the head of his dick against her clit. Eva wished he didn’t know what completely killed her. She whined once more, arching her hips further forward. 

Papa got the hint and slid into her smoothly, burying himself to the hilt, their hips pressed together. Eva’s head fell back when Papa stilled. She swore she could hear her own heart beating in her ears. Papa grasped her chin in one of his hands, lifted her head back up and bent down to kiss her. 

He finally began to move. Papa wasted no time, his hips picking up in pace almost straight away. Eva sunk her teeth into his lower lip, her eyes slipping shut as her brow furrowed. _So good_. They’d been doing this for so long that Papa knew exactly what spots to hit. She didn’t doubt that he could probably make her come in seconds, if he really wanted to. 

Eva slid a hand into the back of Papa’s dark hair when their kiss turned sloppy, their lips missing one another and their tongues desperately clashing whenever they met. Eva let out a string of high pitched moans when Papa finally began to fuck her with reckless abandon, his own breathing just as ragged as hers. 

Eva started to pull on his hair, unable to form any words when she tried to warn him she was close. Her other hand was back to gripping onto his shoulder. She was vaguely aware of the table banging against the wall. Papa pulled away from the kiss. 

“Look at me.” He commanded breathlessly. Eva slowly managed to peel her eyes open. She felt lost. He had too much control over her when she was like this. 

“Yes!” Papa snapped his hips forward as they locked eyes. “Good, good, I want to see you when you, ah—” His hips snapped forward again and Papa sucked in a breath through his teeth. Almost, almost there, just a little more—

Omega flashed to the forefront of her mind and Eva gasped, her eyes widening in shock when she hit her peak. It was too late. Her orgasm was already crashing over her. She jerked, twitched and jolted as she rode out her orgasm, still clinging to Papa the entire time. Her vision almost whited out. That was one of the hardest orgasms she’d ever had. 

Papa gently unfolded her legs from around his waist as he pulled out of her, tucking himself back into his pants. They were both a mess of sweat and heavy breathing. Papa’s hair was dishevelled and the makeup around his mouth smeared. Eva ran her tongue over her lower lip. She could taste his paint. 

Papa helped Eva down from the table, his hands on her hips. Eva’s knees were weak, her legs wobbling. 

“Bellissima, Eva, perfect…” Papa was whispering his praises as he pressed a series of kisses to her forehead. 

Papa made Eva feel incredible, there was no doubt in that, but she couldn’t help but feel disgusted with herself. Disgusted for letting her walls down so quickly. For letting him in so easily. Disgusted for seeing _him_ as she hit her climax. How could she see Omega in such a way? 

Eva had arrived at Papa’s room to talk, not for this to happen. Eva felt sated, but knew that she would leave Papa’s room with more problems than she had started with. Oh, what a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't lie, this one ended up as more of a filler-ish type of chapter?? I kept going back and forth and re-editing parts and I think this is as happy as I'll be with it.
> 
> Also, Happy Easter (if you celebrate)!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sister Eva decides to try to find some answers about what she's feeling. Omega later confronts her and Sister has a lot say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. It's Easter, I'm not religious at all so I am sat at home, bored out of my mind. I will give you lovely people the gift of two chapters in a day. Enjoy. <3

Surprisingly, over the next couple of weeks, things slowly and steadily began to return to normal for Eva.

She began to feel more like her usual self again. There were no further issues between her and Papa. She still had a little piece of hurt secretly lingering in the back of her mind, but what was the point on sitting on a stupid grudge? Eva believed Papa had been truthful with her, to which she was thankful. She doubted he would hurt her intentionally. And what was the point on sitting on a stupid grudge? Everything was running smoothly once more, and everyone on the tour was happy. This was how things were meant to be. 

Eva still experienced small hiccups, where she’d find herself feeling off again. It seemed to only happen now when the band were playing a show. Though it didn’t happen before every show, and it wasn’t nearly as severe as it had been, it still managed to make her uncomfortable. 

She was starting to take more notice of how she felt. To be more in tune with herself. Maybe now was a good time to attempt to find some answers for herself? Just for peace of mind. While things were going well. 

***

Eva eventually decided to act on her thoughts and do some digging. The paranoid part of her brain told her she was both dying _and_ that she was only imagining things. Something had to give.

One morning, Papa had gone for a shower, leaving Eva alone in his bed. She waited until she heard the water turn on in the other room and then made her move. Eva leaned over the edge of the bed and started to go through one of Papa’s bags. 

_Bingo_. 

She found his laptop. He didn’t use it often, preferring to use paper and pen, but he always brought it along on tour. He still had emails to write and receive, preferences be damned. And right now, it was going to come in use for Eva. This was much more discreet than trying to sneak off to do her own research, or even find a doctor. It was far too risky to consult the on-call doctor for the band. Confidentiality wouldn’t go very far with Papa around.

Eva booted up the laptop, keeping an ear open to make sure she listened to the sound of the running water. She couldn’t help a smile when she heard Papa start to sing in the shower. She knew she didn’t have a lot of time, but it was plenty. 

Eva navigated straight to a search engine. _Would this really work?_ It was worth a try. The paranoid part of her mind was already telling her the results would wield something along the lines of _imminent death_. Eva knew it was ridiculous, but… What if? 

She began to immediately type various symptoms into the search bar. _Dizziness; nausea; shortness of breath; emotional._

As she hit search, Eva glanced over at the bathroom door. Papa was still singing to himself, and the water was still running. The results flashed onto the screen. 

_Heart Disease_  
Angina  
Cardiac Symptoms You Should Never Ignore  
Heart Attack or Anxiety Attack?  
Could I Be Pregnant?  
Symptom Checker 

All of those results seemed ridiculously over-dramatic to her, but she selected the sixth link. Surely it would be easier to have her own input, rather than have some author of a webpage telling her what to do.

_Food Poisoning_? No. _Overdose_? No. _Anxiety Attacks?_... Hmm. 

Eva clicked on the last option and made a start on skimming through the wall of text. Now, she most certainly was nowhere _near_ a medical professional, and didn’t feel as if she had the ability to self diagnose, but the key words and phrases Eva picked up on sure sounded a lot like her. Like what she was experiencing. Her interest was piqued. 

Now she had to figure out _why_ this was happening to her. Could it be genetic? What was the cause? 

Eva thought back to when this all started; and then thought back even further. No, it didn’t just start on this tour. In fact, she was sure it had started _years_ ago. Eva had rarely been plagued with these symptoms throughout her life, but she could remember them originally showing a long time ago. _Before_ joining the Church, when she was only your average citizen, with a 9-5 job. Maybe it had even been there throughout her schooling years. Eva couldn’t pinpoint an exact time. It was only recently that it had began to appear more frequently. 

Eva looked up from the laptop. She couldn’t hear Papa singing anymore, nor could she hear the water running from the shower. She swiftly deleted her browser history and booted down the laptop, before placing it back in the bag where she had retrieved it. 

Seconds later, Papa exited the bathroom, clad only in a black robe, and without his usual makeup. Eva rarely saw him with a completely bare face, despite how often they shared a bed. Obviously he looked different without any makeup, but the drastic difference was one she found strange. Papa was a handsome man, with or without his face paint. She didn’t care how he looked.

Papa walked around the room, chatting to Eva as he collected up his makeup and some of his clothes. Eva wasn’t listening, but she nodded along anyway while he spoke. Her newfound knowledge busied her mind and kept her distracted. She wanted to get some kind of confirmation of her discovery, but it was too risky. Eva didn’t want anybody to know. She felt ashamed, although she knew that she needn’t be. She didn’t want anyone to look at her as if she was weak, especially not Papa.

***

Eva found herself growing even closer with the Ghouls throughout their current tour. They had now seen her at her worst and her best, and despite that, they didn’t change the way they behaved towards her. She was still okay in their eyes. They fretted over and fussed over her like mother hens. She loved them like a family. 

On the bus to the next venue, Water was playing with her hands and painting her nails a deep purple, while Earth was busy braiding her hair. Eva was enjoying their attention. 

“That’s a beautiful colour.” Eva told Water. He paused and looked up from her hands to blink at her, as if startled by her words. He said nothing, but was smiling beneath his mask. Water returned to painting her nails. 

Eva couldn’t yet see what Earth had done to her hair, but it felt good. She was a total sucker for having her hair played with. Eva felt so relaxed, that she had to remind herself not to fall asleep right there and then. 

Eva felt like a queen, being pampered by the Ghouls. Eva doubted many other members of the clergy, if any at all, received _this_ type of attention from the Ghouls. She felt honoured. 

Water screwed the cap back onto the nail polish and Eva held her hands up, wiggling her fingers. She grinned. Water had done a super neat job with such a striking colour. 

“Thank you. It looks lovely.” She said. Water admired his handy work and his eyes lit up when he gave Eva a grin from beneath his mask. 

Soon enough, Earth was also finished with her hair. Eva stood up and made her way to one of the mirrors on the bus, with Earth closely tailing behind her. Eva grinned at him in the mirror. She had no idea where the Ghouls picked these kinds of skills up from — she couldn’t paint her own nails that neatly, or do her own hair this well — but she was glad that they were willing to practice on her. 

“I love it, Earth. Thank you.” 

Earth let out a proud, strange little ‘yip’ sound before he spun on his heels to join his fellow Ghouls. Eva looked in the mirror again and ran a single finger along the length of one of the braids. Amazing. 

She wouldn’t need her veil until show time, and she was glad. Eva didn’t want to hide or mess up Earth’s hard work. She didn’t tend to do a lot with her own hair, choosing to leave it down or put it up into a quick ponytail. This was a nice change. She liked it. 

Eva returned to the Ghouls and sat down with Air, who had his face in a book. Eva could feel Omega’s eyes on her. She’d been finding it difficult to look at him since — yeah. _That_.

***

Another show went off without a hitch. Eva felt like with each performance there was more and more energy, from both the band and the crowd, as they got deeper into the gist of touring again. Eva couldn’t pick a favourite country, as if she would ever be asked to. She enjoyed them all. Each crowd brought a different kind of energy and different surprises. 

Eva hugged each member of the band as they left the stage, ignoring the little ass grab Papa threw into his hug. Omega was the last one off stage and he stalled in front of her, his eyes following Papa until he was out of sight. 

“Can we talk?” He asked. Eva already felt a flush creeping up her neck, as she and the Ghoul locked eyes. 

“Sure. Here, or?” 

Omega shook his head. “Later. At the hotel?” 

“My room or yours?” Eva attempted to joke. It landed flat. No reaction. She was mildly aware of her heart beginning to thump harder. 

“Yours.” Omega spoke. He paused and looked her over before he finally hugged her. A quick hug, not a typical, trademark Omega hug. He followed the rest of the band backstage, leaving Eva on her own. 

Was he mad at her? He sounded as if he was. Omega wasn’t his usual, sweet self. Something was off with him, and she knew it was all to do with her. Eva hadn’t been fair on him recently, and it wasn’t even his fault. She hadn’t been avoiding him to be rude, she just couldn’t bring herself to face him. It’s not every day that you get fucked by your boss and think of one of your closest friends right as you come. Eva was still completely horrified with herself.

She shook her head and straightened herself up before she followed the path the band took backstage. Eva was worried about meeting with Omega later, but she knew that she didn’t need to be. Omega was Omega. Friendly, kind. He would never say anything hurtful to her, unlike Papa. It would be okay.

***

Omega didn’t get to Eva’s room until just after midnight. Eva was still wide awake, her mind reeling with worry in anticipation of his visit. 

Omega quietly knocked twice on her door, and Eva just about bolted out of bed. Too eager? Certainly. She paused at the door, willed her nerves to go away, had a quick attempt at composing herself and then finally let him into her room. 

“What’s up?” She asked, as soon as the door was closed. Eva didn’t want to beat around the bush here. 

“Have I done something to you? You’ve been avoiding me.” Clearly, Omega felt the same way.

It pained Eva to look at the tall Ghoul. His eyes didn’t seem to have their usual, happy little glimmer to them. And it was because of her. Eva felt a surge of pain in her chest. 

“Omega, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I promise. I can’t explain it.” Her eyes fell to the floor. She was filled with guilt. 

“Why not?” He questioned, incredulous. 

“It’s — It’s just complicated. You have no idea how complicated it is.” 

“I _would_ like you to give me an idea.” 

_I was fucking Papa and when I came I thought of you. It was one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had_. That would surely go down well. What the fuck was she meant to say? 

“Omega, I—” Her anxiety levels began to rise. Eva’s mind was still reeling. Her breath was catching. What great timing. 

Omega picked up on the change and his eyes softened. He walked towards her, running his hands down the length of her arms. “Hey.” 

What was she supposed to say to him? Should she tell him of her little discovery, her deep dark secret? What if Omega told Papa? What if her place here became jeopardised? 

Eva drew in a deep breath to calm herself. It was okay. This was only Omega. She couldn’t live her life breaking down every time there was some sort of confrontation involving her. 

Omega’s hands took hers and he gave them a gentle squeeze. Eva’s gaze remained fixed to the ground. 

Eva’s heart ached for Omega. Longed for him. She just wanted to pull him into her arms, into her bed, and never let him go. 

Wait, _no_. That wasn’t right! 

He was stood so close to her. She could feel his warmth, she could smell his fresh scent. It was almost overwhelming. Omega’s hands cupped her face, forcing Eva to look at him. Why did he have to look so _pained_? 

“I’ve been worrying for days on end that I might have upset you in some way. If I ever did, I really hope that you’d tell me. I don’t want to ever lose you, Eva.”

“No, I—” Eva tried to speak once more and only failed. She couldn’t make much sense of her own thoughts, let alone how to string a sentence together. 

Omega was close. Too close. He held her face tenderly within his large, soft hands. Omega’s presence, this close, was dizzying. Eva had to close her eyes. She was weak for him. She allowed it.

“Eva, I—” Omega released a heavy sigh. “Fuck it.” 

Omega took a hand away from her face to raise his mask. Eva’s eyes remained shut, so she didn’t understand what was happening until she felt his lips on hers. 

Eva gasped and melted into his kiss. It felt so right. It made so much sense! She could feel herself falling in too deep. Eva reached up and wound her arms around Omega’s shoulders, her hands clasping together at the back of his neck as they kissed. 

But _Papa_. 

Eva pulled away abruptly, almost _leaping_ away from him while she hid her face in her hands. No. Oh no. Oh no, no, _no_. 

When she looked up again, Omega had already brought his mask back down over his face. 

“Eva, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” 

_No_. “Omega, you’ve got the wrong idea—”

“I know, which is why I’m apologising.”

“No! Please, don’t,” Eva’s heart was twisting, torn. “I’m glad you kissed me.” And she was. But _Papa_. She had to tell Omega about Papa. She couldn’t lie now! But how? “I think you’ll want to sit down.”

Omega cocked his head to the side, but obeyed her nonetheless. He sat down at the small dining table in her room. “What’s going on?”

Eva sat down beside him and hesitated. Why did everything need to be so complicated? Could she not live a normal life? It was now or never. It wasn’t as if her and Papa’s relationship was going to remain secret forever. 

“Papa and I, are, um…” How did she put this? “Fucking?” Eva cringed. 

Omega’s eyes widened and he pushed himself away from the table, standing up so fast he almost knocked his chair over. His hand flew up to cover his mouth — well, his mask — and he took another step back from her.

“It’s nothing serious!” Wasn’t it? Eva remembered how she felt when she’d found out about Papa and the other girls. How his response was to fuck the hurt out of her. Maybe it wasn’t that serious. Not to him, at least.

“It’s, ah, nothing new, either.” This was going down as one of the most awkward conversations she had ever had in her life. 

Omega cautiously stepped closer to Eva, then decided to sit back down beside her. 

“I mean, we all thought there was something weird going on with you two, but we didn’t _know_.” Omega explained. He looked as if he had seen a ghost. 

“It’s not — we’re not together.” Eva rubbed her face with her hands. “Far from it. He sees other women, sometimes. I just found out, actually.” She laughed, bitterly. She thought she was over it, but apparently those feelings were resurfacing. “I’m just…” Easy. No. “ _There_ a lot. Convenient.” 

“Herrejävlar.” Omega huffed. “Papa is going to kill me.” 

“ _No_. Papa won’t know. He doesn’t need to know.” Eva was treading on dangerous territory. She reached out and took one of Omega’s hands in both of her own, throwing caution to the wind. “Look, I like you a lot.” 

“Eva, I don’t know — Papa—” 

“What did I just tell you, hm?” One of her thumbs grazed against Omega’s knuckles.

This was so wrong, but it felt so right. Part of her was screaming no, while the other part screamed yes. She did hold onto some deep rooted feelings for Papa, but it was becoming clearer throughout the tour that Papa didn’t reciprocate her feelings. He was a casual lover. Omega seemed so different. Eva didn’t believe the Ghoul only wanted her as a fucktoy, unlike some.

Papa respected her, she knew that much. But being around Omega… She felt like so much more. He even looked at her differently than Papa did. 

Eva should have known her actions would have consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many of you use tumblr still? Thinking about maybe dropping my url here...


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omega is like some sort of safety blanket to Sister Eva. Still, she continues to find Papa irresistible, even amidst her troubles.

Was this considered as being unfaithful? Eva was unsure, and most of all, confused. Papa and her weren’t in an exclusive relationship, and as she had recently discovered, he sometimes had other people on the side. Was there even a term for a relationship like theirs? They had never asked anything of one another. Eva would label the relationship simply as ‘complicated’. It had grown from the sake of convenience.

She had decided not to tell Papa about Omega. She told herself it was best not to, for the sake of the band, even if deep down she knew her choices weren’t a good idea. The only difference was that it was easier for everyone this way. Omega… Hadn’t been so keen on the idea, but had reluctantly agreed in the end. He didn’t want to disobey his leader, but he also didn’t want to be without Eva. They had been close friends for a little while now, so they didn’t raise any suspicions with the time they spent together. Still, they had to be careful, so they trod carefully. 

Omega and Eva hadn’t kissed since. Hadn’t even touched since. They hadn’t had the opportunity to. Either Papa or the other Ghouls had been around them, if not all of them at once. They weren’t going to take huge, blatant risks. It could wait. They were happy enough to share each others’ company, even with others around them. 

Eva saw a difference in her relationship with Papa, and her relationship with Omega. She wanted to be fucked and then loved by Papa, but loved and then fucked by Omega. It didn’t make a lot of sense, but she could see a difference between the two options. 

Eva had began to avoid Papa’s advances, but this was only a game she could play for so long. Papa wasn’t an idiot, even when he chose to think only with his dick. She knew she was being disloyal to Papa, but she only wanted to be loyal to one person. 

***

The tour was currently in Eastern Europe and they would next be travelling back up to Northern Europe, which meant it was almost time to go home. Eva wanted to resume her normal life. And back at the church, she was sure she’d get more chances with Omega. _Fuck_. She couldn’t get him off her mind. 

After the show, during their usual post-show hugs, Eva had a chance to whisper in Omega’s ear to come to her room later that night. He’d given her a single, quick nod and that was it. Time for the waiting game. Luckily, Papa hadn’t asked for her company that night. She’d managed to get back to her hotel room without any unwanted interruptions, to which she was thankful. 

Omega arrived at her room just before midnight. As soon as Eva opened the door to him, she had grabbed onto one of his wrists and yanked him through the door. Once he was inside, she threw her arms around his middle and just _squeezed_. Eva could cuddle him forever. To be honest, that was the main reason she had asked him to come over that night. 

“Hey there, little one.” Omega gently wrapped his arms around her, one hand on the centre of her back, and the other cupping the back of her head. Eva pressed her forehead against his shoulder. She could feel herself falling _fast_ for him, but she was paying no thought to the possible consequences. 

“I’m glad you’re here.” Eva mumbled, her voice muffled by the Ghoul’s shoulder.

“Anything for you.” 

“Can you stay with me tonight?” Eva asked, looking up at Omega with a wide smile. 

“Of course.” Omega nodded. He didn’t even stop to think about her question. 

Eva reluctantly pulled away from the hug and took Omega’s hand, leading him towards her bed. Omega laced their fingers together and Eva couldn’t help but smile to herself. She’d never felt like this around _anyone_ before. She didn’t want to say the ‘L’ word, but what else could it be? This was more than an immature crush. 

To begin with, Eva didn’t even realise that Ghouls and humans were compatible. She’d heard of stories, of humans and Ghouls being together without any issue, with some couples even bearing hybrid children. She was yet to see any such couples with her own eyes, but now she believed.

Eva climbed into her bed and held the sheets up for Omega. He removed his shoes, then slipped into bed beside her with ease. Eva cuddled up to him straight away, and her mind drifted back to that night she had been utterly distraught. It wasn’t that long ago, but it felt like a completely different time. Things were changing. Hopefully for the better.

Eva covered her mouth when she failed to stifle a yawn. “I’m sorry. I’m so sleepy.” 

“Don’t be,” Omega was tracing circles over her spine. “Asleep or awake, I am happy to spend time with you.” 

Eva had a dopey smile on her face. She was aware that she probably looked like an idiot. “Thank you, Omega. You too. Even when I’m half out of it, like this.” Her eyes were already closing, even as she spoke. Eva wriggled herself closer to Omega. He was so cosy. 

“Sleep, älskling.” Omega encouraged. Eva yawned once more, but grinned at the given nickname. She wanted to spend more time with him, _awake_ , not like this. But still, it was late, and she was happy enough to have him at her side. It was the little things.

“I don’t want to, but… Goodnight, Omega. Just in case.” Eva was determined to stay awake for at least a little bit longer, but sleep was quickly overcoming her. 

“Just in case.” He laughed gently.

Barely two minutes later, Eva was sound asleep, tucked against Omega’s side. 

***

Papa had cornered her the following night, in the minutes before he was due on stage. The music had already started. The Ghouls had entered the stage. _What was he playing at?_

“Papa!” Eva scolded when he pushed her against the wall, hitching one of her legs up his waist. “You’re due on in what, two, three minutes?!” 

Papa bunched Eva’s habit up in one hand to keep it out of his way and he pressed his hips against hers. Eva couldn’t stop the low moan that bubbled up from the back of her throat. They were barely off to the side of the stage. Eva was sure that some of the crowd would be able to see them if they bothered to look this way, not to mention that the band were _right there_. 

“Enough time for you to get off.” Papa stated, shoving his hips against hers with more force as he pushed her into the wall. Eva’s adrenaline was pumping with the idea of being caught like this. And Papa was risking being late on stage! This was _serious_ , why wasn’t he taking it seriously?

Papa’s mouth found hers and they kissed slowly and wetly, despite Papa’s desperate dry humping. It wasn’t quite working for her, so Eva gave in and tilted her hips to try to get herself at an angle that felt better. _There_. 

“Papa!” Eva hissed when he pulled away from the kiss. This was so bad, but she was already dizzy with desire. 

Papa grabbed Eva’s hips and abruptly pulled them against his own. Papa was dressed in his chasuble, but she was still more than aware of the bulge beneath his robes as he grinded himself against her. Eva moaned in response. He had the libido of a young man, but she never complained about it, even when they looked like a pair of stupid teenagers, getting off wherever they could. 

“ _God_.” She huffed out, her hands gripping onto his shoulders tightly as she tried to steady herself from Papa’s desperate movements. There was no way he could get her off while they were still clothed. Was there? 

Eva could feel that familiar deep pit of heat building within her. She was vaguely aware of the music closing in on Papa’s cue. Maybe a minute left? Her mind was too cloudy to tell. Eva couldn’t believe he was even _trying_ this. No hands, too? 

Papa continued to grind and rut against her, the friction between them growing sweeter and sweeter. She reached a hand down between them, but Papa slapped it away with a small growl, his hips barely faltering in rhythm as he did so. Eva was moving in time with him, while both of them grew increasingly desperate. They were both trying to chase a high that they may not even reach in time.

Eva had to bite down on her bottom lip to retain her moans. Nobody would hear her over the music, but even still. This was too public. She didn’t consider herself an exhibitionist, nor did she particularly want to start being one _now_.

“Eva, bellissima, come on,” Papa urged. The husky tone to his voice only added to Eva’s lust. His pupils were blown wide. _30 seconds_. “Come for Papa, yes?” 

With barely ten seconds to spare, Eva finally tipped over the edge, slamming a hand over her own mouth as Papa stepped back, readjusted his robes and walked out onto the stage, as casual as can be. 

As he pulled away from her, Eva couldn’t help but notice the possessive glint in his eye. Maybe, _hopefully_ , he wasn’t onto her and Omega, but he was well aware that Eva had been avoiding him. Papa had to claim what he believed was his, and that was perhaps why their quick little escapade had been so public. He didn’t care if they were caught. He wanted to mark his territory, like some sort of wild animal.

Eva fell back against the wall, pressing her thighs together as her orgasm died down. She felt stunned, and it took her a moment before she was able to stand up properly, her hands moving to straighten out the creases that Papa had made in her habit. She couldn’t _believe_ Papa had gotten her off in such a way, let alone so quickly. She knew he would boast about it for the rest of her life. 

Eva cringed when she felt the cool fabric of her now soaked panties against her sensitive skin. She would have to disappear to the bathrooms, rid of her underwear and clean up as soon as possible. Eva felt so _dirty_ , and she knew it wasn’t just because of her underwear. A wave of guilt washed over her as her mind began to clear.

Omega had seen everything from his place on the stage, of course. His annoyance towards Papa only added to his energy on stage. It was a surprise that he didn’t break any guitar strings. 

*** 

Eva had felt so gross, being so close to the fans without any _underwear_ on. Papa warned them prehand not to grab or grope at anyone, and she was glad that they always seemed to listen. She disliked rowdy crowds when she was completely clothed, let alone this. And she knew that nobody else knew of her commando issue, but she was still paranoid that a magical gust of wind would appear inside the venue and she would have herself a Marilyn Monroe moment. Could you _imagine_? Eva would quit right there and then, never to look back or return. 

Eva kept glancing over her shoulder at the stage, while she tended to the front row of the crowd with tonight’s Sisters. Papa would shoot a glance at them every so often, but he was playing up to the crowd tonight. 

Omega watched over her the entire time, stepping to the front of the stage when they got to his side. Eva felt a strange wave of calmness wash over her, just knowing he was right behind her, looking over her. Omega was some sort of guardian angel. The more time she spent with him, the more she was sure of it. If only she had realised that on that night, he played with total fury.

*** 

Eva had only snuck Omega into her hotel room once, but now with each night she spent in an empty bed, she found herself restless and longing for him. Eva had never been such a clingy person in her life. It was a foreign feeling to her. Sharing a bed with Papa wouldn’t even suffice. She needed the Ghoul.

Eva tossed and turned in her bed, glancing periodically at the digital clock beside her. _2:28am_. Seriously? It wasn’t even as if they had travelled far enough for jet lag to be an issue. 

Eva closed her eyes for what felt like the 200th time that night, allowing her thoughts and feelings to be free to whir around her mind. Maybe she could bore herself to sleep. If only it was that easy.

By 3am, frustration had overcome her, so she viciously kicked away her bedsheets. Eva huffed loudly, irritated. It wasn’t even like there was anything to do at this time of night. She ungracefully clambered out of her bed and pulled on a pair of fluffy socks, her feet slipping into her slippers as she wrapped a blanket around herself. Eva then made her way over to her door and let herself out of her room. Fresh air sounded like a good idea. She was sure the hotel staff had seen worse sights than her current state. 

Eva skipped the elevator, choosing to take the stairs instead. They weren’t much effort anyway, but she wanted to make some sort of attempt at tiring herself out sooner. It felt good to get her legs moving, anyway. She made her way into the hotel lobby and towards the main entrance of the hotel. She pulled her blanket further around her shoulders as she stepped through the doors and into the cool air of the night. Eva closed her eyes briefly, drawing in a deep breath. This was a good idea. The chilly air felt refreshing. 

Eva’s eyes snapped open when she tuned into a pair of familiar voices. Seriously, at this time of night? Eva’s fingers curled into her blanket and she darted around the corner. She pulled the blanket up so it covered her head, in her best ET impression. She was sure she looked nuts, but she’d been worse. Eva tried listening in on the voices again. Papa, and also… Omega?

Her eyes widened and she felt her blood run cold. After recent events, her mind went to the worst possible scenarios. What did they need to discuss out here, in the middle of the night? What was so important? Eva felt frustrated. She couldn’t even understand the language they were speaking, so she was clueless as to what was going on. They sounded calm, she gathered that much, so that was a good sign. 

Papa’s voice grew closer and although she was around the corner, still bundled in her blanket ET-style, she froze up again. Fuck, it was cold out here, stood in one place. Eva heard the automatic doors to the hotel slide open and then close again. Had they gone? She waited a minute, listening carefully. Total silence. The coast was clear. 

Eva stepped out from her little hiding spot, nearly jumping straight out of her skin when she almost walked straight into Omega. 

“Holy fuck!” Eva yelped. It seemed she had also startled her Ghoul. 

“Eva!” Omega spun to face her, a hand flattened over his heart. “What are you doing out _here_?” 

“I could ask the same of you.” Omega was looking her up and down. Eva almost laughed at herself. “Okay, I couldn’t sleep.” Eva pulled the blanket down, away from her head, so she could wrap it around her shoulders again. 

“You look…” Omega grinned from behind his mask. Eva’s heart fluttered at the twinkle in his eye. “Cute.”

Eva rolled her eyes at him and turned her head away from him, hoping the shadows from the dim street lighting would hide her blush. 

“So, why were _you_ out here?” Should she mention Papa? 

“Well.” Omega held up the pack of cigarettes and lighter in his hand. Ah. Surely he had to take the mask off for that? In a public place? Eva had a lot of questions, which she would save for a later date. 

“Oh.” She hesitated. “And Papa?” 

Omega shrugged one of his shoulders. “He wanted to speak with me about something. I think he’s had some worries lately. It’s nothing bad.” 

“Was he okay?” Eva knew she shouldn’t be nosey like this, but she couldn’t help it. She _did_ worry about Papa.

“Yeah, I think so. Just stressed out.” Omega paused. “He did mention you. He said you seemed… offish, with him.” 

Eva’s heart sank. “Yeah, I gathered that.” 

Omega expected Eva to continue, but she kept her mouth shut. She didn’t want to speak about Papa. Not like that, and not out here. She knew Papa had caught onto the fact that she was avoiding him, and that he certainly didn’t like it. That he had tried to claim back what he thought was his own. 

“So, why couldn’t you sleep?” Omega questioned, changing the subject. 

“I don’t know, I just—” Eva puffed out a breath of air and watched it disperse in front of her. Why did springtime nights take so long to grow warmer? “I kind of missed you, I guess.” 

Omega stepped closer to her and ran a hand down her arm. Eva shivered, even beneath her layers. She could smell the cigarette smoke on him, now he was closer. She never enjoyed smoking, let alone the smell of it, but something within her liked it on him.

“Come on, let’s get you back inside. I can stay with you for a bit.” Omega laid a hand against the small of her back, gently guiding her back through the hotel entrance. 

They managed to get back up to Eva’s room without any interruptions. Once Eva was back in her bed, Omega snuggled up to her, pulling her into his chest. And as if like magic, with Omega back in her arms, Eva was out as soon as her head hit the pillows.

Omega stayed put for at least a couple of hours, letting her sleep soundly beside him. When he left, he had to carefully uncurl her fists from where her hands had clung onto his clothing. He brushed a strand of her hair from her face when he stood up, and made sure to turn out the lights as he walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Victim To Temptation?? A Victim To Papa's Dick more like.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the final show of the tour. Sister Eva and Omega let their guard down much too soon.

The final show of the tour was later on that night, in Stockholm. The energy was high and Ghost always went out with a bang. This was going to be their homecoming show, before they returned to the Church of Ghost. The Ghouls were jittering with excitement, not being able to sit still or stop talking amongst one another almost all day long. Papa was his usual, mostly unreadable self, although it was easy to see that he was also most definitely ready to go. He was in a very good mood.

Meanwhile, Eva was a bag of nerves. She didn’t want to mess up again and ruin the show. She knew it was highly unlikely to happen, and that it was only the anxious side of her speaking. Still, the idea haunted her mind, so she found herself increasingly restless throughout the day. 

Their table at breakfast was hectic. The Ghouls were eating everything in sight, shoving handfuls or forkfuls of food beneath their mask time and time again and just generally making a mess. What else was new? Eva found it amusing, watching the other hotel guests look on in horror and disgust, even if she did think the Ghouls ought to calm down. Their excitement was not at all contained and it was getting the better of them.

Eva quietly nibbled away at her toast. Her stomach was already turning, but it was bearable for the time being. She dared to slip her free hand beneath the table and brush her fingers over Omega’s hand. His knee hit the table with a loud bang, surprised by Eva’s bold touch. She had to stifle a laugh as Papa and the Ghouls stared at him in bewilderment.

“Heh. Sorry.” Omega tried to play it off cool and Eva couldn’t help but grin to herself when the Ghoul side-eyed her. Her grin faltered when Omega placed his hand on her knee right as she took another bite of her toast. Eva swore she could have choked, but she somehow managed to save herself the embarrassment. She didn’t expect Omega to even attempt to get revenge, nor was she ballsy enough to one up him in their short little game. 

***

Eva grew more and more uneasy as the hours passed and the time ticked closer to showtime. She was trying to be logical — that seemed to be her best method of relaxing her mind — and look for a reason _why_ she felt so troubled. This time, she found nothing. Thinking only made her mind whir quicker. Quite frankly, it was beginning to give her a headache. 

She figured that the rest of the band’s levels of high energy were probably having an effect on her, too. The Ghouls could be overwhelming when they got into states like these, with their energy feeling contagious, and Papa was being a little too loud for her liking. Eva couldn’t think straight with the ongoing commotion around her, and it was growing difficult to tune them out.

It didn’t help when they arrived at the venue for that night. There wasn’t just a small handful of fans who had arrived early — in fact, there were a lot more than any of them had expected — with Eva estimating anywhere up to thirty or so. Eva was glad there was a fence between the fans and the bus, but that didn’t stop the fans whipping out their phones and cameras. 

When they left the bus, Eva tried to cover herself as best as she could by pushing in front of the Ghouls. They were tall. They provided decent cover. Eva didn’t enjoy the idea of fame, or having her face plastered on forums or social networks. It felt like an invasion of privacy to her, which may seem silly, considering the job she was currently carrying out. Eva understood how little it took to put a face to a name, a name to a place and so on. She didn’t mind being photographed inside the venue. It was dark. It was part of the act. She was in her habit by that point. Out here, it always felt a lot more personal. With all the commotion around them, Eva was starting to feel light headed. 

Once inside the venue, Eva released the breath she didn’t realise she was holding in. She could still hear the fans outside yelling for the band, especially Papa. Papa had a smug look on his face as he turned around to give the fans a little wave, before the door was closed behind him. Silence. 

Eva felt like she was buzzing. She sat down at the edge of the stage while the band rehearsed for that night, going over extra, little details to make this last show even more special. Papa was very well rehearsed. Eva failed to pay a single ounce of attention to anything that was going on around her. She was well aware of the music and some of the talking within the large space around her, but she was trapped in her own head, her physical symptoms only helping to encourage her suffering. 

She was beginning to see the wider appeal of alcohol. Maybe one drink would help for her nerves? But maybe not. Maybe something _more_? Eva felt like her experiences with this _disease_ were similar to how she felt during an awful come down. Only now, she was totally sober. 

Papa had been keeping an eye on her. Eva wasn’t sure whether it was out of concern for her or just because he may be worried she would flip again and skew his plans for the night. Either way, the fact that he had noticed her troubles meant she wasn’t containing herself well enough. He was reading her like a book, and Eva was begging herself to reel her behaviour in fast. 

Omega was the same as Papa — watching her closely, judging her every movement and glance. Eva wasn’t a very loud person, but she was being far too quiet today. It was a dead giveaway that something wasn’t right. She may as well wear a bright, red flashing light on her head, or some sort of sign. 

***

Papa took her hand minutes before the show and placed soft kisses over her knuckles. 

“Do not worry,” He spoke softly, but just loud enough for Eva to hear him. “You think too much. It is all fine.” 

Eva forced a smile, hoping it would come across as genuine. If only Papa understood how much she was really tormenting herself. She was physically surrounded by demons, but it was like the real ones lived within her. Papa had no idea. 

“Tonight will be amazing. You will see. You will do excellent.” He stated, confident as always. Papa leaned forward and pressed another kiss to her forehead, letting go of her hand. Why did that make her want to _cry_? 

Eva glanced over to Omega and he gave her a quick, as if to reaffirm Papa’s words. The Ghouls walked onto the stage and Papa turned away from Eva to watch his Ghouls. His number one priority and concern in life would always be with the shows they played. 

Papa left her some minutes later, giving Eva small, quick bow before he did. She smiled in response to his gesture and watched him enter the stage, the noise level of the crowd rapidly increasing in volume. Eva watched on with watery eyes. She had so many mixed feelings right now. She was so proud of the band, so _thankful_ that she was allowed attend these events and see the effect they had on people. On the other hand, she was struggling. She was truly a bag of nerves, and she wasn’t sure if the tears in her eyes were truly because she was happy for the band, or because she felt that awful. 

Eva had always had a bit of stage fright, but never as much as she had done in recent weeks. It was a mild phobia, a bearable one, but one that was beginning to crop up more. She’d never had anything bad happen to her while on stage — she’d never fell, never slipped up during her act. She’d just generally had nothing embarrassing or horrible happen to her at all whilst out there, in front of the crowd. Her fear was unfounded. She enjoyed her short time out amongst the fans. Most of the attention was never directed at her, anyway. 

Eva’s uneasy feeling remained with her all night. She watched her two favourite men performing on stage together, having the time of their lives, one totally clueless about Eva’s relationship with the other. How could she do this to either of them? How could she carry on lying like this? Eva was only setting herself up for hurt, let alone anyone else. 

Papa was _Papa_ — the most respected man in the Church of Ghost, excluding Papa Nihil. Papa was a workhorse who had needed someone extra to help him take on all his work, and Eva had just happened to catch his eye. She knew how lucky she was to have done so. It wasn’t something that just sort of _happened_. Being able to work so often and so closely with him was a blessing, let alone the fact that their work relationship had blossomed into something unexpected. It still stunned Eva to know that someone who held so much power wanted someone like her. _Lusted_ over her. He had come to, quite literally, know every single inch of her. And he _had_ proven that sometimes, when he felt like it, he could be a real romantic. Eva understood exactly how fortunate she was, to have caught his attention. 

Omega was almost totally opposite to Papa. Papa was protective of Eva, but Omega… she’d thought of him enough times by now as something not unlike a guardian angel. Her guardian Ghoul. He was softer with her. Omega seemed to like Eva for who she was, not for the amount of work she could handle or for what was beneath her habit. Eva _loved_ sex — who didn’t? — but it was also nice to have someone who didn’t only look for one thing in her. It was nice to have someone look at her for who she was. With Omega, she didn’t feel the need to rush into anything, or to put on a façade with him. They were both happy enough to just spend time with one another. It made a nice change for Eva.

Eva continued to observe the band, utterly hypnotised, just like she was the first time she saw them perform. She needed to stop thinking so much. Eva thought she’d earned her title as a Sister of Sin, seeing how much sinning she seemed to surround herself with lately. This was definitely her home. 

***

The final show flew by, in almost no time at all. Eva had no fuck ups, so her fears were uncalled for, as she predicted. The band had no fuck ups, of course. The fans were as beautiful and responsive as they usually were. Some of them were quick to get outside and wait for the band, hardly waiting at all once the set had finished to push their way back through the crowd in the general direction of the doors. Tonight, Papa was the last one off the stage, and he had kissed her forehead again, just like he had done before the show. Again, Eva wanted to cry. As time went on, she became more and more wracked with guilt. 

The band left the venue almost immediately, wishing to get back home, now that the tour was over. They were all in high spirits, finishing the tour on a high note. Eva hadn’t even had a chance to change out of her habit yet, before she was being beckoned outside towards the bus. 

Before they entered the bus and left completely, the band stuck around to sign things for the lingering fans. Eva was thankful for the chain link fence separating the band from the crowd. Excitement was high amongst everyone tonight. The fans were just as loud outside the venue as they were inside. The fans and the band were passings things back and forth over the top of the fence — CDs, t-shirts, vinyl, cassette tapes, masks, you name it — and the band were very good, making sure everyone got their items back safely. They were polite and spoke to the fans quietly. There was no prejudice here; everyone was equal.

Eva sank back, out of the way, to let the band do their thing. Some fans recognised here, so they were waving at her and giving her quick smiles, which she didn’t mind. It was nice to be acknowledged, and Eva knew she wasn’t the main source of attention. Omega glanced over his shoulder to check on her when Eva stepped away. The amount of attention and commotion directed towards the band was frightening to her; overwhelming. At least this reaffirmed that they were spreading their message successfully. The fan base grew with each album and tour, as would be expected. But so did some of the more rabid behaviour. 

Eva, still feeling overwhelmed, made her way over to the bus. She didn’t want to get in the way, and it wasn’t like she needed to sign anything, so she was happy to escape the attention a little bit sooner. 

Omega saw Eva leave, so he followed. Papa noticed. 

Omega snuck up behind Eva before she could sit down, wrapping his arms around her and giving her a quick squeeze. Eva emitted a surprised squeak, her fingers quickly gripping onto his arms. She looked down and spotted those familiar thick rings on his fingers and couldn’t help herself to a soft laugh.

“You need to go back outside!” Eva scolded, quickly turning in his arms to face him. Omega was laughing beneath the mask, a cheeky glint in his eyes. 

“I will, I just wanted to check on you. You looked a little… scared?” 

“Well, there are a lot of people out there, and _I’m_ not exactly a rockstar.” Eva rolled her eyes at him, but couldn’t help her smile. Omega came in to check on her. She thought that was a sweet gesture. 

“A rockstar, huh? Hm.” Omega unwound his arms from around her, settling his hands over her hips instead.

“Yeah, you guys. That’s your… night job, is it not?” Eva grinned up at him. Bright. Proud. She took both of his hands in her own, absently toying with his fingers. 

“I’m flattered, truly.” Omega was still smiling at her beneath the mask. 

Eva sighed, content. Looking into those beautiful, deep blue eyes caused all her worries to disappear. Like magic. She felt safe, with Omega. As if she was home. She released his hands, raising her own to cup his jaw — or rather, the jaw of his mask — in her hands, intent on lifting his mask so she could kiss him.

Before Eva could make another move, the duo were interrupted. 

“What is going on in here?”

Eva and Omega both completely froze, their eyes widening in fear. There was no mistaking Papa’s voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooh a sneaky little cliffhanger! They were bound to be caught sooner or later.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa Emeritus III is furious with his Ghoul and his Sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, SO, before we get started I want to quickly mention something. I don't think it needs to be tagged, but there is a very brief mention/hint of non-con because Papa is being fiery and not thinking before he speaks. It is, as I mentioned, brief and 'only' verbal, but I don't want to upset or trigger anyone!

Neither Omega or Eva dared to move another inch, their eyes wide as they stared at one another in shock. They didn’t need to speak to be able to convey their thoughts to each other right now. They were a visual representation of a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Hm?” Papa urged, his tone cold. He closed the door quietly and stepped further into the bus. “Would anyone like to explain this to me?”

Omega gulped audibly and took a step back from Eva, tucking his hands behind his back when he turned to Papa. When he turned his back to Eva, she noticed that his fists were clenched, knuckles white. She knew that Omega had been worried from the start about if Papa was to find out about them. _When_ Papa found out. Eva was naïve for thinking this could go on forever. She should have known from the start that it was impossible to keep secrets from Papa for too long. 

“Papa…” Eva started. What could she really say? His expression was flat, unreadable. Eva felt a sharp spike of fear within her. 

Papa strode past Omega, shoulder checking him on the way. The Ghoul stumbled but managed to retain his balance, his hands still balled behind his back. Papa grabbed Eva by her upper arm and aggressively pulled her towards the back of the bus, slamming the door behind him. On their way through, Eva thought she had heard Omega growl. 

“Stop it!” Eva complained, trying to pull her arm back and away from Papa’s tight grasp. He wasn’t quite hurting her, but it wasn’t very comfortable, either. Papa made sure she wouldn’t be escaping him any time soon. 

“You’ve been having many issues this tour, but _this_?” Papa hissed, leaning in closer to her. Eva swallowed a whimper. “You do this to me? You go behind my back?” 

“Nothing has happened!” Eva insisted. Papa was never going to believe her, despite her protests. They’d only _kissed_. Okay, so _something_ had happened, but it wasn’t anything major. Besides, he’d had it off with another woman on this tour. Maybe even more than one! Eva remembered how hurt she’d felt that day, and her temper suddenly flared. 

“I’m not like—” Eva quickly shut her mouth, deciding against finishing that sentence. 

“Not like what?” Papa raised an eyebrow. He knew exactly what she had meant to say. “Or not like _who_?” 

Eva refused to answer. Her anger had built like a fire within, but she still had some wits about her.

“See, you forget,” Papa started again, after a moments silence between the two. “You forget who I am, my place in the church. Your place in the church?” Papa held his hand up and clicked his fingers. “Can be gone just like this. You are so little.” 

Eva knew that. She knew that Papa could kick her out, or even make her disappear in an instant, without a trace. With a click of his fingers, she could be gone. Her fate would be left in his hands. His words rang true, but that didn’t make them hurt any less. Eva’s heart was twisting inside her chest. 

“One minute you act like you do not want to be here, and I think you are trying to leave. Now you do this? This is the reason why you wanted to stay here? For that Ghoul?”

Most of all, Eva just really wanted to tell Papa what a fucking idiot he was. 

“I _never_ wanted to leave! My place is here.” Eva felt weak; intimidated. She tried to stand a little taller as she spoke, reminding herself to drop her tense shoulders and straighten her back. She wasn’t going to let Papa walk all over her without having a chance to get her side of the story in, instead of leaving it to the things he imagined and accused.

“Is it?” Papa asked, tilting his head. He was taunting her. Papa was mad at Eva, Eva was mad at Papa, but this close, even with their emotions running high, he still managed to intoxicate her. It wasn’t fair. Eva continued to glare at him, though she wanted to shrink away beneath his intense stare. She only wished she could instill some sort of fear within him, but she was merely a simple, young mortal. 

“My place is _here_.” She spat, repeating herself.

“Do you deserve your place here?” Papa clucked his tongue. 

“ _What_?” What was he trying to get at _now_? “I’ve been here for so long now, I did your damned ritual barely a week after I arriv—” 

Papa laughed harshly at Eva, effectively silencing her. 

“Yes, the ritual. But do you follow your Papa? Obey him?” Papa motioned to the door. “You give it away to this Ghoul instead?”

“I have given him _nothing_.” Eva argued. Were they going to go back and forth like this all night? How could Papa feel so _entitled_ to her? Eva was a part of the church, yes, and he was indeed her superior. But she did not belong to him, despite what he currently seemed to think. They weren’t even in a real relationship. If they were, of course things would be different. For a start, this wouldn’t be happening right now! 

“You give it away like you do for me?” Papa laughed again, albeit mockingly. Eva’s face grew hot with anger and she could feel that her cheeks were becoming wet with tears. Was that really what he thought of her, all this time? She thought—

“Oh, cara mia. So easy, hm?” He trailed a finger over one of her cheeks, swiftly wiping a tear away. Papa then grasped her face in his hands, a devilish smirk on his lips. “Maybe we show him how easy?” 

“No.” Eva spat, trying to pull her head away from him. She felt sick to her stomach. Everything that had happened between them had _always_ been consensual. Papa wasn’t that kind of man. In the beginning, he always insisted on her consent. He wouldn’t change that now, would he? 

“We show this Ghoul how good you are for your Papa? What you do for him? Always so sweet?”

“ _No_.” Eva repeated, the volume of her voice rising. If she had to fight him, she would. This wasn’t going to happen. 

“No?” Papa had slid his hand beneath Eva’s veil. He softly, maybe even lovingly, stroked her hair before he embedded his fingers into her hair by grasping the roots and pulling her head to the side. Eva winced. Usually, yes, when he pulled her hair, she would be into it. But this wasn’t the type of play they often indulged in, and Eva grew more and more queasy at the thought of where their ‘talk’ was going. 

Papa leaned in even closer to her, his tone lowered and his lips barely grazing over the edge of her jaw as he spoke. “You do not usually say this word to me. Usually all yes.”

Eva was either going to throw up or hit him at some point within the next ten seconds. She hadn’t decided on which one yet. 

“Get _off_ me.” Eva tried to push at Papa’s shoulders, but he still had a hold on her hair. He eyed her for a moment, his stare intense, before he finally relented. 

“When we get back to the church, you will have new duties.” Papa said as he took a step back from her. Finally, she had some more space to fucking breathe. “It is okay to sin here, yes, so you will go without punishment for your… infidelity. But I will not need your services anymore, Sister. I can find another Sister to work with.” 

With that, he finally left her alone. Eva’s ears were loudly ringing, but when Papa left, she was aware of voices, of unknown words being spoken in harsh tones through the other side of the door, of hisses and growls. She was also sure that she heard Papa leave the bus altogether. At least, she assumed it was him. 

Arguing with Papa killed her, but currently Eva felt shocked, hurt and offended that Papa had taken their fight down another route and even _hinted_ at such awful things. It may have been dramatic, but Eva thought it would have hurt less if Papa had physically sliced her open, from head to toe. She pressed the heels of her hands against the sockets of her eyes and tried to take a deep breath, but it caught in her throat and stuttered.

She needed to be alone; even more so than she already was. Through blurred vision, Eva managed to make her way to the tiny bathroom on the bus and locked herself in there. She let herself sink to the floor, her knees brought up to her chest and her face pressed into her folded arms, before she finally allowed her tears to freely flow. Eva wanted to be as quiet as possible, despite her strong urge to scream and shout, and just cause a mess of a scene. Her emotions wear a mess, tearing her apart.

Eva was well aware the Ghouls had heard it all, every single word that was said between her and Papa. How couldn’t they? The walls of the bus were ridiculously thin. She didn’t want the Ghouls to even look at her. Eva felt disgusting. What had she _done_?

***

Eva didn’t leave the tiny bathroom until the bus had finally arrived back home, at the old, grand church. Was it still her home? Could she really still call the church home, with all that had gone on? Eva had stopped crying at some point, at least, though she was still sniffling away. Her eyes were swollen and red, and her entire face ached. She was reluctant to leave the small bathroom, as well as to leave the bus altogether, but she couldn’t hide forever. She needed to face what had happened. What she had caused. 

Eva opened the door slowly, expecting the bus to be deserted. She wasn’t alone. 

The Ghouls had remained on the bus; she assumed it was to wait for her. Eva didn’t know whether to be glad or to go back into hiding and tell them to go away. Eva felt her lower lip tremble as she remained stood in the doorway, and Water enveloped her in a tight hug. Before she knew it, _all_ of the Nameless Ghouls were hugging her and each other. A big Ghoul group hug. She raised her head to look up at each of them and made a grab for one of Omega’s hands when she spotted him off to the right of her. Eva pulled his hand out towards her to rest is against her cheek, and then nuzzled her face into his hand. 

“I’m sorry.” Eva spoke to all of them, her voice quiet and hoarse. She was surprised that she still had a voice at all!

The Ghouls said nothing, continuing to keep her in the middle of their group hug. She had been worried that they would turn on her, that they would come to Papa’s aid. She was thankful to still have them all on her side. Eva noticed that the Ghouls were all looking between one another again, as if silently communicating. She hid her face in Water’s shoulder once more. She was terrified of what the future held, but she felt good here. Even if only for a minute or two. 

***

Eventually, the Ghouls managed to convince Eva to actually leave the bus. She was terrified right down to her very soul. Terrified of Papa, terrified of Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator and _what were they going to think?_ and terrified of the way the church looked in the darkness tonight, like it was foreboding something sinister. Eva had her favourite Ghouls by her side, at least. That lessened the blow a teeny bit. 

Air, Water and Earth walked in front of her, while Alpha and Omega flanked her sides. If Eva didn’t feel like total shit, wallowing in her guilt and self pity, she would’ve laughed. This scenario portrayed a strange image. The Ghouls looked as if they were her bodyguards. It was a silly sight. Omega placed a hand on Eva’s lower back, and she couldn’t help it when she flinched.

The church was quiet. Too quiet. Papa was nowhere to be seen, which didn’t surprise any of them. There were very few clergy members around. Usually there was a celebration when Ghost returned from tour. Not this time. A couple of Eva’s fellow Sisters of Sin gave her an odd look as she passed them with the Ghouls, but Eva chose to keep her head down. She didn’t feel like entertaining any questions or rumours tonight. 

Eva knew these Ghouls were protective over those they loved, but she never realised how much so. She felt honoured to have them with her like this, watching over her and making sure she made it safely back to her quarters. Eva knew they all cared for her, but it was only now that she was beginning to realise just how much. She felt all this was unnecessary, but she chose to say nothing. Eva appreciated them being with her.

Once they had arrived at her room, they each gave her a little bow or a quick hug of their own and left her. All except for Omega. He stayed with her. His eyes seemed to be full of sadness and Eva felt her heart breaking even _more_. 

“Come on.” He said, pushing open the door to her room. Eva obeyed and followed Omega inside. 

Eva wanted to touch him. To hug him, to kiss him, tell him everything was okay. Omega hadn’t had his grilling from Papa yet, and she worried for him. They both knew he would be called before Papa sooner or later. Omega didn’t need to take the blame. This was all Eva’s doing, and she was more than willing to take responsibility for her foolish choices. 

“I’m sorry, Omega.” She sighed. Eva felt weak, physically, emotionally and mentally. She didn’t want to fight anymore. She hardly had the energy to even stand on her own two feet anymore. “I’m sorry I brought you into this.”

“Papa shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.” He said, sitting himself down at the edge of Eva’s bed. She sat down beside him. 

“Well… I should have been honest with him.” She rubbed a hand over her face. It was true, even if Papa hadn’t always been honest with _her_.

“I understand.” Omega said, rubbing his hands together. “I didn’t like the way he spoke to you, on the bus. At one point, I thought I was going to join you both and then rip his head clean off.” 

Eva looked at him, her mouth forming a small ‘o’ shape. It was a difficult scene to imagine. Omega was never anything but polite to Papa. Some referred to Omega as Papa’s right hand man. She was shocked to hear those words leave his mouth. 

“I couldn’t believe my ears. Alpha and Air were holding me back.” Omega laughed, but it was a bitter one.

“It’s okay.” _I deserved it for how I have acted recently_. “He didn’t hurt me, he just—” 

“It doesn’t matter.” Omega interrupted, fists clenching again. His head was down. Eva reached out towards him cautiously, placing a hand over one of his. She circled her thumb slowly over his skin. She wanted Omega to calm down. 

“Are you okay?” Eva asked, eyes fixed on his, even if he wasn’t going to look at her.

“I mean, I’m pretty fucking pissed off, but—” Omega drew in a deep breath. Eva had never seen him so tense. “Yeah. I think so.” 

“I don’t want to lose you, Omega.” Eva felt like such a sap. She was under his spell, like a ring around his finger. She was beginning to realise she would do _anything_ for the Ghoul.

“We’re both still here, so that’s a good sign.” 

Eva nodded in silent agreement, yet her mind went back to Papa. He would never forgive her, she was sure. She wouldn’t blame him if he outed her to the entire church, let alone if he banished her, never to return. Her actions were uncalled for, but still — the heart wants what the heart wants. 

“I’m guessing you can’t stay with me tonight.” 

“It’s probably not a good idea.” Omega finally raised his head again to look at her, but then he stood up. “I’ll leave you be.”

Eva mustered a smile as well as she could. Of course she didn’t want to be alone, especially while feeling like _this_. But she had brought this on herself, and she didn’t want to piss Papa off anymore than she had already done. She could see Omega was struggling to contain his anger and annoyance, and she didn’t want to get on his last nerve, either. It was better for her to be alone tonight, as much as she didn’t want to be.

Omega let himself out of her room without another word, and Eva dropped backwards onto her mattress. She sighed as her gaze fell upon her ceiling. Why did her life feel like a shitty teen soap opera lately? 

Eva knew she had to make things right eventually, with everyone, as well as help to repair the relationships that she had spoiled. She didn’t know how she was going to do it, or when, but she was determined to get there in the end. First, she needed a clear head. Making rash decisions was what seemed to get her into this mess in the first place. There was no rushing this, as everyone needed a cool down period. She wanted to get back into her own routine first, too, to try to regain some sense of normality. Tensions were going to remain high for a while longer yet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sister Eva eventually manages to catch up with Papa. He wants to help her.

It had now been just over a month since the tour had come to an end and shit had hit the fan. Since the _disaster_ had happened, as Eva had decided to term it. 

Eva was still working on mustering up the courage to go and speak to Papa. She’d sat in on the odd lecture with him, but he hadn’t paid much attention to her. He spared her the odd glance here and there, as he would to any other member of the clergy. She wondered if he knew how much it hurt her, to not be able to capture or hold his attention anymore. She knew she had no right to feel that way. 

People were starting to catch on that something wasn’t right, but since her and Papa’s relationship had never been public knowledge, they didn’t know exactly _what_ had gone wrong. They only noticed that Eva was around more and _why wasn’t she working with Papa again?_ Anyone was yet to confront her. 

Eva hadn’t been called to see Papa _once_. She knew this was coming — he had told her so himself — but she still found herself waiting for him, expecting to be called to assist with any work at any given moment. It only added to her hurt. 

And Omega? Eva could barely face him. She didn’t want to worsen things between the Ghoul and Papa, so she’d kept her distance from him, too. Eva was also worried he might be mad at her. The last time she saw him, well, that was the most unhappy she had ever seen him. She didn’t want to ruin his career, his life, or his _anything_. Eva wanted the two men to be happy, so she ended up avoiding them both for the time being. 

Instead of shutting herself off completely, Eva had begun to spend more time with her fellow members of the clergy. She’d managed to settle into a nice little group, consisting of three Siblings — two Sisters and a Brother — along with a young Ghoul. Turns out that when Eva wasn’t stuck up Papa’s ass, people took more of a liking to her. It was nice to socialise with other people, even if the lack of extra work she had was so _boring_. This new group accepted Eva fairly quickly, even though the four of them had been friends already for quite a while. Eva kind of felt like she was in a third wheel type of situation when around them, since she didn’t share their bond, but she was thankful to have gained new friends. 

“Are you going to confessional tonight?” One of the Sisters, Charlotte, had asked her. Eva had a dumbfounded look on her face. She hadn’t even realised it was later that night. “Papa Emeritus III is holding it.” 

Eva sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth at _his_ name. Charlotte arched an eyebrow and gave her an odd look. 

“Maybe. I’m not sure yet.” Eva answered, unwilling to commit. 

“I think he’s the best one to confess to,” Amelia, the other Sister who was at Eva’s other side, piped up. “He seems to really listen and not just give generic advice, you know?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Eva quickly agreed. She didn’t really want to talk about Papa, but she was unsure of how to change the topic.

“You work with him a lot, don’t you?” Amelia continued. 

“Sometimes.” Eva shrugged a shoulder. _Please, no_. 

“I think he’s kinda hot.” Charlotte added.

“You think _all_ the old dudes around here are hot. Just because you want some rich demon daddy for yourself.” 

“That’s not true!” Charlotte argued back, but the two girls were laughing. Eva wished she could join in. It was amazing how much power Papa still held over her, and how her mood had only soured because she had heard his name.

“What’s so funny?” The Brother came along. Eli. 

“Charlotte wants Papa as her sugar daddy!” Amelia quickly responded. 

“Shut _up_.” Charlotte hissed, lowering her voice as she jabbed her friend’s shoulder. “You never know who might hear.” 

And okay, maybe their gossip and silly laughter _was_ contagious. Eva allowed herself to giggle along with them, even as the two Sisters carried on with their playful bickering. Eli looked totally lost at their behaviour. This only made it even more amusing to Sister Eva, as she listened and looked on between the three friends. 

***

In the end, they had managed to drag Eva along to confessional. Eva had caved and agreed, and then regretted it immediately. Once she had said yes, it was too late to go back. This was a bad idea. A _very_ bad idea, but her friends surely weren’t going to let her get out of it now. Luckily, they were the last to filter through for confession, and Eva insisted to her friends that she went last. She didn’t know how long this was going to take. Papa might even storm out on her, kick her out or _anything_. Anything could happen here, and she didn’t want anyone around to witness her next downfall, if it was to come. Eva didn’t know what to expect. This would be the first time since _the disaster_ that she would be face to face with Papa.

Amelia went in first. She was only inside the booth for maybe five minutes. Eva wondered if she was confessing on Charlotte’s behalf, by ratting out her feelings to Papa. That would be amusing, but of course, you couldn’t see nor hear anything from out here. Eva still entertained herself with the thought as she waited. 

Charlotte went in next. She was in there a little while longer. Eva wondered how much she had to confess. Apparently a _lot_. Neither of the two Sisters of Sin were particularly wild ones. Eva certainly couldn’t imagine them going off the rails and breaking a whole lot of rules of the Church. Very few Sisters had ever done that. The ones who had were quickly discovered and promptly expelled from the Church, never to return again. 

Soon, Eva was the only one left to confess. She told her Sisters that she would meet them down the hallway afterwards, to which they agreed and began to wander away from her. Eva knew that the booth was totally private, but she didn’t want to risk anyone overhearing anything. And there was always the risk of things between her and Papa quickly going downhill... 

Eva stopped at the door of the confessional booth, frozen with dread. Did she _really_ want to do this? Not really, but when else was she going to speak to Papa? There was no easy way to break the ice, and this looked like it would be her only chance. Fuck. Eva drew in a deep breath and stepped inside. 

It was dark inside, so Papa hadn’t recognised her at first. 

“Ah, Sister…” He trailed off when she sat down. Eva knew he was staring at her through the divider between them. She couldn’t bring herself to look back at him. “...Eva.” 

His tone was cooler when he finished greeting her, and silence quickly fell between the two of them. 

“What is it you need to confess?” Papa finally asked. Eva already felt like a nervous wreck. 

“I’ve done something awful, Papa.” Eva dropped her head, her attention on her hands in her lap. “I’ve hurt people.” 

Of course Papa _had_ to know where this was going, but he entertained her anyway. 

“Tell me, Sister. Confess to your Papa.” 

_Your_ Papa. Eva nearly fell right off her seat. 

“I — I was working,” She started. But where to start? “With the band. Touring. I was struggling... On the inside, but I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know how or who to ask for help.” 

Eva had never told Papa about the problems she’d encountered on that tour. She had to unleash it all, right here, right now, because it was now or never. 

“At first, I thought I was sick, maybe even just homesick,” She shrugged her shoulders gently. “I messed up. I took off at one of the shows. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I was scared, so I felt like I needed a quick escape.” 

Eva paused. She didn’t like reliving that night in her memory.

“I was a disappointment. I only wanted to make my Papa proud.” _My_ Papa. Could she still say that? “Well, eventually, I became fed up of feeling so awful so often. I did some digging. Eventually, I found out what could be wrong with me. It’s all in my head, Papa, but there’s no way of getting rid of it. I can barely fight it off. Sometimes, it takes over me. I can’t hide it and I can’t hide _from_ it. It always finds me.” 

Eva stopped to compose herself. She wanted to remain calm and collected throughout their little session. 

“I wish I could blame my illness for what I have done, but it was all my own doing. Some things had happened, and I was upset and angry, maybe more than I had wanted to let on. I didn’t stop to think about the consequences of my own selfish actions.” 

She drew in another deep breath.

“I was… with a man. He treated me well. I don’t know if he loved me or just enjoyed my company. One night, he said some things he didn’t mean and upset me. Later on, I caught him with another woman. We were never together, but it hurt me in ways I could have never imagined. I was stunned by my own reaction. Maybe I was silly for ever thinking he could be mine.”

Eva fiddled with the sleeves of her habit as she paused to collect her thoughts. 

“I guess, maybe in a way, through my silent struggling, I felt neglected. Thoughts and feelings became twisted. Then there was a, um, a Ghoul, who seemed to care a great amount for me. It felt different. It felt new and exciting. One time, I thought about him when—” Eva cringed. She did _not_ want to tell Papa this, but this was confessional. She needed to set her secrets free. “—Right when I had an orgasm. Just a quick flash. I felt so terrible about it afterwards, but I couldn’t get him out of my mind.” 

She heard Papa shuffling about beside her. He was probably going to leave. She didn’t blame him, especially after that little truth bomb.

“I don’t know what happened — he was just always so nice to me, that I couldn’t help it when my feelings grew. He kissed me one night and I should’ve rejected him, but I didn’t. I told him I had another man in my life, yet I encouraged his behaviour. We didn’t see each other much after that. He stayed with me a couple of times at night, but only to cuddle with me and see me off to sleep. Nothing else happened between us. Nothing has happened since. He was hesitant, but like I said, _I_ encouraged him. I know I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t know if the other man in my life even cared much for me. I was beginning to feel more like a stage prop. More… Like I was there, simply out of convenience. Easy.” 

_Easy_. That was what he had called her when they last spoke. Perhaps it was true. She had never turned him down, and she didn’t turn Omega away, either. 

“And then, of course, we were caught. You can’t keep secrets forever. They all come out eventually. I had some shit said to me that still repeats in my mind at night, when I’m trying to relax my mind and get to sleep. It was a pretty harrowing experience, if I’m honest. It’s been a rough few months for me.”

Eva sighed once more. She didn’t plan on sitting here all night, but she really wanted to tell Papa all the details. 

“Nothing has been the same since. I no longer have a relationship with a man I held very dear to me. You could probably say he was the man who made me. I enjoyed being his favourite. The Ghoul — I can barely look at him. I feel guilty for dragging him into the mess that I’ve caused. I fear I’ve broken the bond between the man and the Ghoul. I still want them to be close. I don’t want to ruin anything else. I will pay for my own actions, nobody else needs to. I’ll welcome retribution with open arms.” 

The door opened beside her, swiftly closed, and then someone was sitting down on the small bench beside her. Eva kept her head down. She still had more to say. 

“My heart is torn. I’m in love. I can’t help myself. I miss the first man more than I thought I ever would, while the Ghoul holds the key to my heart in his hands. I feel so lost, and everything just fucking _hurts_ all the damn time.” Eva finally finished. 

She finally looked up to see who had joined her. _Papa_. Eva slid off the bench and fell to her knees before him, her hands desperately gripping onto his chasuble. 

“Papa, I beg for forgiveness. I _beg_ you. Forgive me for all that I have done wrong. I need to be able to fix this, but I don’t know how. _Please_ , forgive me, Papa.” She was literally begging on her hands and knees. What more could she do? 

Papa gently petted her head as she looked up at him, mismatched eyes meeting her own. She felt like she was drowning. At this point in time, it would be preferable.

“I’m so sorry, Papa. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt _anyone_.” 

“Sister Eva…” Papa started. She noticed the wobble in his voice. “You are _sick_?” 

“Not physically, Papa…” Eva raised a hand to tap her forefinger against the side of her head. “In here. I guess my wires got crossed, at some point.” She tried to joke, in an attempt to lighten the mood. Neither of them found it funny. 

“What is it?” 

“I’m not sure, Papa. I think I have an anxiety disorder of sorts,” She shrugged her shoulders. “I haven’t seen a doctor. I wanted to keep this to myself. I was worried I would be deemed unfit to continue working, and anyway, I felt ashamed.” 

“No, Sister,” Papa reached down, hooking his hands beneath Eva’s arms to pick her up. She didn’t expect him to pull her straight up and into his lap. “Do not be ashamed. This is not unusual. It happens to lots of people. Even here, in our Church. You would like to see a doctor?”

“Not really, Papa.” She really didn’t want to be poked, prodded, and asked a gazillion questions. He frowned at her. “But if it would make you happy.” 

“You come with me to my office and I will get the doctor right away. Yes?” 

Truthfully, Eva felt uncomfortable with the idea of going back to Papa’s office. Too much had happened. There were too many memories there. On the other hand, he was actively trying to help her.

“Cara,” Papa sighed. “Do not worry. Please.” 

Eva finally looked up at him once more and into his eyes. He looked so upset. It _killed_ her. She didn’t know how much more pain she could take before her heart would probably decide to give out. 

“Okay.” Eva finally agreed, albeit reluctantly. The two of them got to their feet and Papa gently took her arm in his, leading her out of the confessional booth. Surely he didn’t forgive her this easily... Did he?

Papa did as he said he would and immediately brought Eva back to his office. It felt strange to be back in there again. She sat down when Papa left the room again. Why was she agreeing to this? Well, it was for her own sake, to be fair. And now Papa knew… and hadn’t flipped his shit. That was a good sign, wasn’t it? He seemed genuinely concerned for her. Eva hadn’t expected the reaction he had given her.

Papa returned to his office maybe five minutes later, clergy doctor in tow. Papa sat down in his usual place, on the opposite side of the desk. Eva wasn’t sure if she wanted him here for this, but he already knew everything from her confession. Plus, she wanted to make him happy. She was tired of their relationship being so strained. 

“Eva, isn’t it?” The doctor asked. Eva only nodded in response. “I hear you’ve been having some issues?” 

Eva promptly began explaining everything to the doctor. When it started. How it felt. How she felt. The doctor listened in silence, nodding his head along with her words while he jotted down some notes in a small notepad. Papa watched intently from the other side of his desk, his eyes flickering back and forth between Eva and the doctor. He said nothing. He simply observed. 

“And you believe it could be an anxiety disorder?”

“Yes, that’s right, doctor.” Eva confirmed. “I don’t want to self diagnose myself, or anything. I don’t feel confident enough to do that. This is only from my own research, but of course, you’re the medical professional here. I was hoping you’d be able to give me some answers.” 

“Well, Eva, I think you may be correct in your assumptions.”

Eva blinked at the doctor. _What?_ She didn’t know whether that was good news or bad news. How was she even meant to take the doctor confirming her suspicions? 

“Oh. Okay.” Was all that Eva managed to respond with. It was nice that the doctor agreed with her, because it made matters so much easier. She wouldn’t have to go off for tests, or questions, or any of that poking and prodding, or anything else. But at the same time, an _anxiety disorder_ wasn’t exactly something she wanted. It would’ve been easier if he had told her she was making it all up. This made it _real_. 

“Now that we’ve come to that conclusion, I can prescribe you something if you’d like. To take the edge off. If not, I can refer you for services outside the grounds of the church. Perhaps something like CBT?”

Eva hesitated. This was a lot to take in at once, and the doctor was giving her a lot of options. After a moment of thought, she politely declined. “No thank you, doctor.” 

Papa raised his eyebrow at her from the other side of his desk. The doctor also seemed taken aback by her reply. 

“Okay… Well, if you ever change your mind, I’m sure you know where to find me.” The doctor said, more towards Papa, as he stood up. He gave Eva a smile, turned to Papa and gave him a little bow, before turning on his heel to exit Papa’s office, leaving the two on their own again. 

Wow. It was that easy? She had never dealt with the clergy doctor before, only with nurses for cuts and scrapes and minor illnesses. Eva was glad that he wasn’t pushy with her; that he allowed her to make her own decisions. She didn’t need even more pressure than she already felt lately. 

“Smart Sister.” Papa broke the silence between them. “You knew before the doctor did.” 

“It was just an assumption.” She replied, looking at Papa and shrugging her shoulders. Honestly, she didn’t really _know_ , and she didn’t want to just trust what the internet had told her. 

“A good assumption.” He smiled at her. Something felt off. Eva stood up. 

“Well, thank you, Papa, for your help and for being so understanding. But I think I should be leaving.” 

Papa also stood up and made his way around the desk until he came to a stop in front of Eva. He almost seemed as if he was in a hurry. 

“You feel better now?” 

Eva shrugged yet again. “I guess so, yeah. A little. Now that I know, that helps. I’m not really sure what to make of it, though.” 

Papa brushed a strand of Eva’s hair over her shoulder, back beneath her veil. He was close. Too close. 

“Papa—” His gaze caught hers, and she tensed. This wasn’t a good place to be. Papa’s hands tenderly held her face. Eva stared at him, dumbstruck. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t. 

“Papa—” Eva tried again, raising her hands to gently grasp his wrists. She cleared her throat. “—I can’t do this.” Eva stepped back, carefully lowering his hands away from her face. “I can’t. Please. I’m sorry, Papa.” Too much had happened. Too much had been said. Her heart was tired. She needed a break. 

“I understand.” Papa said, a frown on his face. Eva didn’t _want_ to turn him down, as such, but she knew that she had to. She couldn’t continue to go on like this. 

“I’ve got a lot of things to fix, Papa. I hope you forgive me. I hope you forgive all that I’ve confessed.” 

“Sister, you are forgiven.” 

She _hated_ when Papa used her title, instead of her name, but that was something she figured she was going to have to get used to from now on. 

Eva didn’t like to think that she loved Papa, but… It was true. Of course she loved him, after all the time they’d spent together, after everything he had done for her. The hardest part was realising that he wasn’t for her. The thought was a troubling one to come to terms with. Papa would always want to be a free man. Eva wouldn’t be able to change that, no matter how much time they spent together or how she really felt about him. 

“Thank you, Papa.” Eva answered, before she made her way to the door and let herself out of Papa’s office. 

She closed the door quietly behind her and stopped to wipe away a stray tear. Eva knew that she still had a lot more thinking to do. She was sick of thinking and sick of hurting. She wanted to get away, to go somewhere new and clear her head for a while. Easier said than done. She just needed some _peace_ , which was difficult to get around here. 

On her way back to her quarters, she ran into her new friends. 

“Hey, where have you been?” Charlotte asked. “You had _that_ much to confess?” 

“Yeah,” Eva answered. “I guess I did, yeah.” 

“You’ve been gone for like, half an hour! We were beginning to worry. We thought you’d been thrown to the Ghouls.” 

“Not yet. I must have lost track of time. Sorry, guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tension still remains.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sister Eva tries to track Omega down and ends up discovering a lot more about the Ghoul. 
> 
> Later, she goes to see Papa Emeritus III for another talk.

Papa wasn’t happy with Eva, yet again. This time it was because he was throwing a strop, ever since she had rejected his advances. Eva could deal with his childish behaviour. It was much better this way compared to when he was absolutely furious with her. Papa would cool down eventually. Eva would leave him to his own devices for now. It was a non-issue in her eyes.

Eva was glad that she’d confessed to Papa, anyway, and that he seemed to understand her better now. He had forgiven her. She felt as if she was starting to be able to breathe once again, as if she’d had a massive, concrete weight trapped above her chest all this time and now it had been lifted. 

Next, Eva needed to see Omega, now that she had worked things out — or at least, gotten over the worst of it — with Papa. She thought she’d felt fear when she had visited Papa, but it was nothing compared to how she felt now. Eva was unsure if Omega was angry with her, or just upset in general, or _what_. She even found herself wondering if he even _liked_ her anymore.

Ghouls of such a high rank within the clergy weren’t the easiest to find, either, whilst within the walls of the ancient church. Younger clergy members were warned away from disturbing the Ghouls in their quarters. It wasn’t quite forbidden, but it was a rule you would be brave to break. Plus, Sister Imperator would have a thing or two to say, if she was to find out. Eva definitely considered it, but she didn’t want to feel the wrath of Imperator quite yet. Maybe another time, if she ended up desperate. 

Eva played the waiting game over the course of the next week. 

Firstly, she spotted Omega at dinner, from afar. Their eyes locked, and he acknowledged her with a swift little wave. He was too far away from Eva for her to make her move. It wouldn’t exactly be acceptable to yell over the tables to him, either. Eva had wanted to catch Omega on his way out of the dining halls, but he was gone before she had the chance. She was too late. 

Every now and then, the older Ghouls would slip into one of the clergy lectures. Eva had spotted Omega at the back of one such lecture, one day.

She couldn’t make a scene in here; not in front of Papa Nihil. He didn’t hold lectures very often, but he was probably almost as old as hell itself, so understandably he held a lot of knowledge and wisdom. And this one was about the history of their church — a story the entire clergy had drilled into their minds time and time again — so Papa Nihil was best suited to give the lecture. Even if he did tend to drone on like a senile grandpa sometimes. Eva secretly didn’t mind, though. She enjoyed being in the old man’s presence. 

At the end of the lecture, Omega had yet again left before Eva could even rise from her seat. It was quickly becoming frustrating for her.

Next, Eva had seen Omega walking down one of the dark corridors of the church. The familiar tall and broad silhouette of the Ghoul was one she was unable to mistake. And _finally_ , she was just close enough to be able to nab him.

“Omega!” Eva called out to the Ghoul, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. A couple of passing Sisters shot her a curious glance. Omega had turned at the sound of his name, but held his hands up.

“Sorry, Eva, I can’t stop right now.” And with that, he had turned on his heel and left her again. Eva huffed and gave her foot a little stamp, not unlike an irritated child. She was convinced that he was avoiding her.

So imagine Eva’s shock when Omega came to _her_ at the end of the week. 

***

It was a beautiful early summers day and Eva was outside, sat beneath a large green tree with an open book in her lap when Omega approached her. Eva honestly hadn’t even noticed him coming. 

“Eva?”

She peered up from her book at the sound of her name. Her heart jumped at the sight of Omega and she couldn’t help a gentle smile. 

“May I?” Omega asked, before he sat down on the ground beside her. When did anyone ever see the Ghouls outside, in the church gardens, in _daylight_? “What are you doing?” He nodded towards her book. 

“Trying to get the hang of Latin, for the thousandth time this year,” Eva looked between Omega and the book. “I still don’t think it’s working.”

“Have some patience.” Omega chuckled. 

“I’m trying, believe me.” 

“Is now a good time?” 

“Of course,” Eva closed her book. Her patience had been wearing thinner and thinner with the ancient language, so she didn’t care to save the page she was on. “I think we need to talk.” 

“Exactly, so do I. So.” It became clear that Omega was just as unsure of where to begin as Eva was. 

“I spoke to Papa.” Eva started. Omega’s shoulders visibly slumped. She carefully placed a hand atop one of them. “I explained everything that had happened. He believed me, as he should do, as I had hoped. He… Made a move. I declined.” 

Omega cocked his head at her, with what seemed like a glimmer of hope in his eye. “Really?”

“Really.” Eva confirmed with another smile, more confident this time. “I need… More. More than what Papa wants. I care for him a lot, but he would never be able to commit the way I would want him to. We want different things. It’s better for both of us this way.” 

“So, you’re… available, now?” 

Eva couldn’t help a small laugh. “Available? Yes, that’s a good way of putting it. Papa isn’t too happy with me, but I am sure he’ll get over it eventually. How has he been with you?” 

“Okay. So-so. I guess I can see why. He never bit my head off or anything, so I think we’re okay.” 

“That’s good to hear. I was worried that I… Might have ruined your relationship with him, or got you into some kind of trouble with him. I never wanted things between you and Papa to turn sour. You two always seemed very close.”

“I guess so,” Omega looked down, his hands idly skimming over the tops of the grass. “Maybe not as close as I thought we were, but. Yeah.” 

Eva gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before she dropped her hand back into her lap. “I’m still sorry for coming between you two. I never wanted to hurt anyone, Omega.” 

“We’re all okay, aren’t we?” Omega slid a hand over to one of Eva’s, and laced his fingers with hers. He gave her hand a gentle, encouraging squeeze. 

“Yeah. I think so. You’re right.” Eva paused. “You knew I was having some issues throughout the tour, right? When you and Alpha thought I was…” She didn’t even want to _think_ of the word again, much less say it aloud. The idea still made her cringe. 

Omega looked at her with wide eyes. Oh yeah, he remembered, alright. 

“No — I’m _not_ ,” She spoke quickly, trying to reassure the Ghoul. “I, well, _Papa_ got me a doctor, in fact. And it turns out that it’s all up here.” Eva tapped the side of her head with her index finger. “Crazy, huh?” _Literally_.

“No, not at all crazy.” Why did he have to look at her like that, with those big blue eyes? “Humans are strange. Some weaker, some stronger. But that doesn’t mean you’re crazy, or weak, or anything of the sort. From what I’ve seen throughout the years, it actually seems fairly normal. Common, you could say.”

Eva was stunned into silence for a moment. She hadn’t known what kind of reaction to expect from Omega, nor had she ever heard another perspective like that. Omega’s thumb rubbed small circles against the back of her hand as Eva sat in silence, letting her mind whir and come to terms with the fact that _yes_ , he was _accepting_ of her. 

“Really?” Eva finally asked. She knew she wasn’t the only person in the world to experience these difficulties, but hearing it straight from Omega helped lessen her feelings of being alone. To say his words reassured her would be an understatement. 

“Really.” Omega confirmed, grinning wide beneath the mask. “Never feel like you’re on your own. Maybe I’ll never understand how it feels, but I’ll always be here for you.” 

Eva’s heart fluttered again. Nobody ever spoke to her in the same way that Omega did. She was _so_ weak for him. 

“Were you avoiding me?” Eva asked after another moment of stunned silence. _Ruin the moment, why not?_

Omega paused. “I wouldn’t use the word _avoiding_. Despite what we were just speaking about, I didn’t really know where your mind was. I didn’t know if you were going to be accepting of me, or push me away. I guess I was scared in a way, you know?”

“Scared? Of a human? A _Ghoul_?” 

“Eva.” Omega playfully warned, his grip on her hand momentarily tightening. 

“ _Well_ , isn’t that unheard of?” 

“Yes, that would be a correct assumption. Maybe scared wasn’t the correct word. Apprehensive.” 

“It’s too late to go back on it now.” 

“Oh, okay. I was totally scared. Yep. That’s right. Terrified, in fact.” 

Eva rolled her eyes at him in a playful manner and soon changed the subject _again_. She had so much to say to Omega and wanted to get it all out in the open, in case they didn’t get another chance to meet again soon. Trying to track him down recently had just about driven her mad. 

“I want to thank you, Omega. You’ve always been incredibly nice to me, even _before_ all of this. I’m not sure if I ever deserved your attention, but I’ve always felt good around you.” 

“Well, thank _you_.” Of course Omega was grinning again. “I’m flattered you feel that way. I’m glad that you do.”

Eva looked at him with a big, stupid, proud grin of her own. Honestly, he made her feel as if she could conquer the world. What was this? As his gaze held her own, she felt like she wanted to kiss him, but not here. There was too much of a chance of them getting caught. Speaking of…

“Eva!” Her newfound Ghoul friend, Flare — yes, clearly a fire Ghoul — bounded over to where the pair were sat beneath the tree. Omega and Eva quickly released each others hands and the young Ghoul stopped abruptly, about ten feet away.

“O-Oh — Omega!” Flare gasped loudly and quickly bowed to his superior. Eva was still learning how Ghoul politics worked. Omega steadily rose to his feet. Eva watched on, already intrigued by their interaction.

“No need for that.” He told the young Ghoul. And well, did Flare look _starstruck_. 

“But—” Flare paused. It was obvious he wanted to impress Omega. But didn’t most people within the clergy?

“I insist.” Omega was in front of Flare now, and he gave the younger Ghoul a gentle pat on the shoulder, causing him to nearly jump straight into the air. Flare, easily intimidated by Omega, abruptly turned around and bolted. Eva couldn’t help herself as she began to laugh, and she fell from her sitting position and onto her side, clutching her stomach. Gosh, she hadn't laughed like this in a while. It was such a silly little thing to find so amusing.

“What happened there?!” She asked, when Omega turned around to face her again. 

“Honestly, I have no idea.” He stepped over to her and held a hand out to Eva. Only once she managed to compose herself, she finally took his hand and allowed him to help her up to her feet.

“Are you kind of like what Papa is to all of us? If that makes sense.” Eva questioned as they both began to walk. 

“Oh no, not at all.” Omega replied. “The young ones always want to be like us. They strive for the stars and nothing less. They understand how long we’ve been around and I guess it kind of intimidates or scares them? I don’t know. It’s been long time since that was me.” 

Eva grinned, trying to imagine a little, young Omega. How _cute_. 

“I mean, they’re _supposed_ to respect us — and I guess clearly, they do.”

Omega released Eva’s hand once they were back inside the church. She tugged on his sleeve instead. 

“Will you come with me? To my room?” Eva asked. Wow, that sounded like a certain kind of proposition. “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you; talking to you. I wouldn’t mind spending a little while longer with you, if you’re not busy.” 

“I can’t right now.” Omega shook his head. Eva’s heart dropped. He must have seen the disappointment written all over her face. “I’m sorry. I have a few things to do. How about I come by later?”

“Yeah, okay.” That worked. She smiled at him. “Sure, yes. Whenever you want.” 

“I’ll see you later.” Omega said and gave Eva a little wave be he turned on his heel to walk away, leaving her alone. She was glad she had nothing to do for the rest of the day, aside from either make another attempt at reading or return this stupid Latin book. 

***

Eva heard a faint knocking at her door just after 9pm. Later than she had hoped, but still early enough. She leapt off her bed and hurried to the door, and _then_ paused. She’d been impatiently waiting all day, but she still didn’t want to seem too eager. 

“Hey.” Eva smiled, opening the door to Omega. “Come on, come in.” 

As Omega closed the door, Eva wrapped her arms around him from behind, resting her head against the centre of his back. Did it really have to be so socially unacceptable to be able to cling onto him, just like this, forevermore?

“I had to make sure nobody saw me come here. We’re not usually allowed into this part of the church without good reason, or unless we’re specifically asked to.” 

In a way, their meeting felt just as secret as Eva’s ones with Papa. Eva didn’t like the idea of that. She wasn’t going to do anything like that _ever_ again. It was too much hassle. She couldn't cope with having more secrets in her life. Eva finally pulled away from Omega and went to sit down on the edge of her bed. The Ghoul followed her.

“Thanks for coming.” Eva said. Now he was here, Eva didn’t know what to do with herself. She felt nervous, even though she knew she had no reason to be. Omega had fixed his gaze on her. Eva felt almost spellbound beneath his stare. 

“So, I want to show you something,” Omega started, a hesitant tone in his words. “But I don’t want you to be scared.” 

_Scared_? This was Omega. What could Eva possibly be scared of? 

Omega’s hands reached towards the bottom of his mask. He hesitated, again. 

“A lot of humans have different reactions to us, how we are, beneath the mask. We rarely show ourselves, but it does happen from time to time, whether deliberate or not. And I like you a lot, so I think you need to know.” 

Eva froze where she was sat. Was he really going to…?

Omega drew in a breath and raised his mask up and over his head, placing it on the bed beside him once he had removed it. Eva’s jaw fell open and she gasped. She didn’t know _how_ to react. Omega took this as a negative reaction and reached for the mask once again. 

“No!” Eva leant forward and grabbed onto his wrists. She couldn’t take her eyes off him.

Eva hadn’t known what to expect, and she knew it was rude to stare, but she couldn’t help it. She had never seen an unmasked Ghoul before. Omega was _gorgeous_ , to say the least. 

Eva’s eyes scanned over Omega’s grey complexion. Rounded cheekbones, pointed ears, thin lips. Eva released Omega’s wrists only to cup his face instead. He lifted his gaze to gauge her reaction. Eva ran her thumbs over his jawline, down to his chin. Not even half as elongated as the mask. His skin was soft. His nose was flatter than the one on the mask, and she gently booped a fingertip against it. Although he looked different to his mask, she could see where the similarities were. 

“Wow.” Eva breathed, eyes still greedily taking him in. And she was supposed to be _scared_? “You look… Well, not the same, but—” 

“That’s the idea. You unsuspecting humans would never have a clue.” Omega grinned. A bright white smile, with short but sharp looking canines. _Fangs?_ Eva would ponder on that later. 

“Hiding in plain sight.” Eva confirmed. She was struggling to take her eyes off him. “Beautiful.” 

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Omega rolled his eyes at her. 

Eva realised she’d said it out loud. _Oh_. Her cheeks grew hot. 

“I’m glad you didn’t turn away and run for your life,” Omega chuckled. “You’re supposed to fear us.” 

It was Eva’s turn to roll her eyes. “Fear _you_? Really?” She didn’t know _how_ to fear Omega, but she had never seen his bad side, his true _Ghoul_ side, the demonic side of him. And she wouldn’t admit this to anyone out loud, but she always knew she wouldn’t fuck with Alpha or Air. Eva wouldn’t say she feared them, either, but something about those two tall Ghouls kicked her human instincts into gear. She loved them, nonetheless. 

“You didn’t have to do this, you know.” Eva told him. 

“No, I wanted to. Eva, I… Want things to go further between us. You know?” 

Her heart jumped and she was soon blushing again. Eva scolded herself for her silly, childish reaction. 

“Of course—” Her words fell short when her mind went to Papa. No. Things were done between the two of them, as much as her heart still longed for him. Eva wanted more than he did. Papa didn’t want a forever. Not with her, not with anyone. The thought still stabbed at her heart. 

It was as if Omega had read her mind. “It’s Papa, isn’t it?” 

“No— Yes, _no_.” Eva finally dropped her hands away from Omega’s face, with a loud, frustrated sigh. “We’re not together. We never really were in the first place, but… It’s done.” 

She was beginning to realise she would need to have _another_ talk with Papa. A proper one, to end things for real. She had to bury her feelings for good and set some solid boundaries. 

“Just know that whatever you want, I want it too.” Eva promised. Omega looked concerned. “I mean it. It’s okay. I just need to speak to him.” Eva’s hand found one of Omega’s. She intertwined their fingers and gave his hand a small squeeze. Omega made her feel completely different to how Papa did. She _wanted_ this. More than anything. 

***

How many times was Eva going to have to go back and forth, chasing these two around as if it was all part of a silly playground game? 

Eva had risen early the next day and made her way to Papa’s chambers, once she was sure he would be awake. She was determined to end this properly, but also on a good note. There wasn’t any way of going back, she was sure of that much, but it didn’t quite feel _finished_ between them just yet. Papa now knew of everything that had happened while they were touring, but he hadn’t taken well to not being able to have what he wanted. Which was, quite frankly, typical behaviour for him and came as no surprise to Eva. 

Eva momentarily stopped once she reached Papa’s office door, taking a few seconds to think over her words and what she wanted to come from this. Eventually, she drew in a deep breath and willed herself to knock. Eva could hear him moving around inside before he vocally granted her permission to come in. She opened the door hesitantly and quietly slipped inside. Papa raised his head when he heard the door click shut. 

“Ah. Sister.” Papa’s tone was flat. Short. Eva couldn’t read him when she looked at him. Papa was sat at his desk, with his legs casually slung upon it and his ankles crossed. Eva grew nervous as she made her way over to the desk. She chose not to sit down. 

“We need to talk.” Her voice almost wavered, but she managed to catch herself. Why did he still have to have such a hold on her? His eyes were piercing right through her. Eva felt uneasy beneath his intense stare. 

“Talk, or—”

“ _Talk_.” Eva quickly reaffirmed. Papa raised his eyebrow at her. She dared to interrupt him? 

“Then talk.” Papa continued to eye her from the other side of his desk, twirling his pen between his fingers. Was he seriously _still_ throwing a tantrum? 

Eva didn’t know where to start. She only knew that she needed to choose her words carefully. 

“You know I’ve always enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, Papa.” 

“I would hope so.” He commented. 

“We can’t—” She didn’t want to tell the head of the Church of Ghost what to do. Could you imagine? The _audacity_. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to continue our relationship in that way.” 

“What way?” Papa was playing it the hard way. Of course, all a part of his silly tantrum. 

“I think it’s better if we keep our relationship strictly professional.” Did it still have to hurt? This was really beginning to feel like a break up now. 

“You think so, Sister?” Papa was smirking at her. He dropped his legs down from atop the desk and leant forward in his chair, his elbows now resting on the hard wooden surface of the desk. “If I call for you, you won’t come?” 

Eva understood the double meaning to his words. She could see it through the cheeky glint in his stare. Eva noticed her legs trembling. She placed a hand on the desk, as casually as she could, to help support her weight. 

“If you ask for me for work reasons, I will come _to you_.” She wasn’t here to play his games. 

“Aw, Sister. That is no fun!” He propped his head up in his hands. 

Eva snapped. 

“Will you just _quit it_ already? I’m not here to play. I’m not here for you. For sex. For whatever you’re trying to get at. I’m here to tell you that I’m ending all of this. Right here, right now. Papa, I’m not willing to continue our little fucked up relationship. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t take it. I need more.” 

“More? Omega?” Papa was still smirking at her. Eva narrowed her eyes. “You are ditching me for one of my very own Ghouls? One of my best?” 

“He’s… Different, Papa.” 

“He is not that different to me.” Papa’s hands flattened out on the desk and he stood up. “You think he will be loyal to you, yes?” 

“I don’t have to listen to this.” 

“I thought he was loyal to me, but then he took my favourite Sister.” 

“Will you just knock it off?” Eva’s voice raised. She _knew_ he was deliberately trying to get under her skin, but she couldn’t help herself. She took the bait.

“Stop trying to twist things just because I will not sleep with you. If that’s all it comes down to, then go get yourself a new ‘favourite’ Sister. It’s not hard.” Eva didn’t know where she had found her backbone. 

Papa pursed his lips and then ran a hand through his hair. He was growing increasingly annoyed, but so was she. “One that lays out so pretty for me?” 

“ _Stop_ it!” Eva almost shouted, only managing to reign herself back in at the last second. Her eyes were stinging and her breathing was already becoming staggered. This was meant to be amicable. She didn’t want another fight like the one they had on the bus. “I thought you cared for me. Cared for me enough to see me as a person and not just your fucktoy, at the very least. I’m starting to realise that I was wrong.” 

“Ah, but I do care.” Papa began to step around the desk. Eva didn’t like this. She wanted distance between the two of them, especially after their last meeting. “Sister, you are very talented. You do everything you are asked. You have a kind soul.” 

“Then _stop_ —” Eva willed her heart to slow down as her stomach twisted. “Stop doing this. Stop saying those things. Papa, I know you don’t love me.”

Papa paused. Either he had finally decided to listen, or Eva had broken through his shell. “I am not a good man. How else would I have this job?” Eva resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his words. “I care for you dearly, cara, Eva, but I think you are right. This won’t go on forever. I am not the one for you. No matter how addicting you are. Maybe this is best.” 

Eva’s lower lip quivered. Papa reached out for her, pulled his hand back, then reached out again. He cupped the back of Eva’s head and leant forward to kiss her forehead gently. 

Eva couldn’t help a silent sniffle. She couldn’t believe he was accepting this, even when it had briefly turned nasty. She’d expected the worst. Eva felt blessed. Things were starting to look up, and it was mostly because of the very man stood before her. She owed him a lot, but they needed to have some boundaries back in place from now on. She would repay him in other ways, over the years to come. Through her service to the Church. 

“Omega is a good Ghoul. If that is where your heart lies, then you must try.” 

“So, it’s okay? You aren’t mad at us?” Eva couldn’t believe she was even asking him. It wasn’t any of his business, but she couldn’t deal with any sour feelings remaining. 

“Mad? No, no. It is all fine. I knew this was coming, so I must accept it. You must both be happy.” Papa took a step back from her. “Anyway… If he is not good enough in the bed, you know where I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't completely finished writing this story yet, but the end is nigh. Saying that, I've probably jinxed it and will now end up whipping up another ten chapters. 
> 
> Thank you again to everyone keeping up with this. I appreciate you. 💗


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sister Eva begrudgingly goes with Omega to see Sister Imperator, as they take their relationship to the next level. She later discovers more than she bargained for.

Eva still hurt from the break up, from finishing things officially with Papa, but overall she felt… Good. Yes, their conversation had _almost_ dwindled into yet another argument, but they had managed to finish on a good note, as Eva had hoped. Papa seemed to be accepting of her and Omega’s blossoming relationship. Life was working out in Sister Eva’s favour, and she could only hope that things would remain that way. 

Now, she could make things _official_ with Omega. To say she felt butterflies in her stomach would be only putting it simply. He was the only being on this planet who could make her feel like this, near constantly. Eva didn’t know what it was about him, but her feelings for him seemed to grow every time they saw one another. Her feelings were too strong to deny. She didn’t want to hide how she felt anymore. She wanted to yell it from the rooftops. 

Omega and Eva saw each other more often now, finding whatever spare time they could to spend with one another. She snuck him into her room so often that it probably didn’t count as sneaking anymore. Plenty of people had caught Eva quickly ushering Omega through her door. They hadn’t faced any consequences just yet, nor did they really care if they ever did. 

***

It was late, and Eva had convinced Omega to snuggle in bed with her, beneath her fluffy blankets. She had tried to wrap him up and coddle him within them, but that had apparently been a step too far. Eva giggled when Omega huffed in frustration at her. Instead, she decided to settle down beside him, her head atop his chest. Omega was drawing patterns up and down her side with a finger, his light touch against her ticklish ribs causing her to squirm every now and then.

“So, tomorrow,” Eva started. “We have to see Imperator?”

“Sister Imperator, yes.” Omega corrected, always one to be official. 

“Is it necessary?” Eva didn’t want to be holed up in her office. That was usually only where people went for a good scolding. Or _worse_. 

“I think so,” Omega paused. “It’s better this way.” 

“But we’re not getting _married_. Why is it such a big deal?”

“We have to make the heads of the Church aware of our status, out of common courtesy. Plus, it _is_ a rule, albeit one that others like to pay no attention to.” 

Eva hummed. She couldn’t disagree with him, but she _really didn’t want to go_. She had nothing against Sister Imperator, she just never wanted to get on her bad side. That lady had a wrath like no other, and although Eva was yet to feel it, Sister Imperator still intimidated her. It would be fair to say she made her quite uncomfortable.

“Sounds like an old rule.” Eva remarked. 

“We’re not asking for permission. As I said, it’s just out of courtesy. It could protect us in future, if we were to receive any negative reactions.” 

Eva frowned. Negative reactions? She certainly hoped not. A part of her mind told her she would see to them herself. 

“Okay.” Eva sighed in agreement. Why did this feel like such a big deal? All because of a silly rule? 

***

Eva awoke early the next day, pleased to find Omega had stayed with her overnight. His mask was placed on her bedside table, and the Ghoul was sleeping soundly next to her, the two of them still tucked up together. Eva smiled to herself at the sight of Omega. He looked so peaceful. She tentatively reached out, her fingers combing his hair back. He made a small sound in his sleep and shifted slightly. Eva couldn’t help it when her smile grew into a grin. She stroked the back of her hand over Omega’s cheek, and soon enough, his eyes fluttered open. 

“Godmorgon.” Omega spoke quietly when his eyes fell upon Eva, his voice husky with sleep. 

“Good morning. I didn’t mean to wake you. You seemed to be sleeping well.” 

“Indeed.” Omega agreed, his eyes heavy. “Are you looking forward to today?” 

“Yes,” Eva answered honestly, despite her feelings about Sister Imperator. She dropped her hand from his face to instead smooth it down over his bare chest. “Are you?” 

“Absolutely.” Omega’s eyes slipped shut and he arched his back up into Eva’s touch, humming with pleasure when his back cracked. “Old bones.” 

Eva rolled her eyes at him, but she couldn’t help her quiet laughter as she tucked herself back up against him and allowed her eyes to close once more. Yeah, she could easily get used to this.

***

Eva and Omega were sat outside Sister Imperator’s office later that day, waiting patiently while she dealt with another member of the clergy inside. 

Well, Eva was waiting _impatiently_. She felt like she could be on the brink of panic, and so her foot had began to absently bounce some time ago. Omega was sat beside her, perfectly still with his hands folded in his lap, while he kept stealing looks at her out of the corner of his eye. He knew where this was going, and for Eva’s sake, he knew that he needed to put a stop to it. 

“Hey.” He spoke gently, turning his body in his seat so he could get a better look at her. 

Eva’s head snapped up and she stared at him with widened eyes. Her foot continued to bounce. 

“What’s going on?” Omega tried. 

It took Eva second to respond, as she left her head and came back down to Earth. She knew it was silly, but her throat felt dry and tight. 

“I don’t know.” She answered. Her gaze fell onto her leg and she abruptly stilled it, forcing her foot against the ground. “Nervous.” 

“It’s okay to be nervous. I understand.” Omega’s voice was gentle and it helped to soothe Eva. He reached out to her and took one of her hands in both of his. 

“It’s alright. We aren’t going to be in any trouble here. We’re doing this for us.” He continued to reassure her, squeezing her hand in his. 

Eva cursed herself for being so silly. She understood that she couldn’t help feeling like this, especially when she felt as if she was under pressure, but it didn’t stop her from thinking it was stupid. Eva wished it was something she could control. She was often left feeling like a pathetic mess, and then she would kick herself for getting herself down. She saw no way of winning. 

“I’m okay.” Eva let out a long breath, squeezing Omega’s hand in return. Perhaps her anxiety was kicking up because she was just looking forward so much to starting a new chapter of her life, with Omega at her side. It felt like a lot of pressure to her. Everyone knew Omega and his fellow Ghouls. They were way up there on the ‘important’ scale. Eva was just another Sister. Most Sisters came and went. 

Omega leant over, lowering his voice. “Stop thinking so much. I know it’s easier said than done.” He breathed a small chuckle, and the corners of Eva’s lips twitched into a tiny smile at the sound of his laughter. 

The door before them opened, and out rushed a flustered Ghoul. He barely spared the pair a glance as he left. He had definitely felt Sister Imperator’s wrath. Omega and Eva shared an amused look once the Ghoul had scurried off. 

“Omega. Sister Eva.” 

The couple got to their feet immediately at the sound of Sister Imperator’s voice. She stood before them, in the doorway to her office, and Omega gave her a bow. 

“Why don’t you both come in?” Sister Imperator gave the two of them a welcoming smile, which helped to calm Eva’s nerves. She was still kicking herself for being so foolish, but that may have only been worsening matters for herself. 

The two of them filed into Sister Imperator’s office, taking a seat each on the other side of her desk. She closed the door behind them both and then situated herself on the opposite side of the desk to them. Eva noticed that Imperator looked happy and relaxed, despite whatever else had just happened in here with the other Ghoul. It helped to ease her nerves. She knew she shouldn’t let horror stories get to her. 

“I think I may have an idea of why you’ve both come here today.” 

“Perhaps, Sister,” Omega replied. Eva would let him do most of the talking. He understood all of the formalities around here, and Eva didn’t want to stick her foot in it. “Sister Eva and I wish to announce our relationship to you; to the Church.” 

“Well, Omega, thank you for going by the book and making me aware of your budding relationship. Church rules still apply; but I believe we can loosen up some of the ones that concern curfews and dorm requirements.” Sister Imperator finished her sentence with a little smirk. 

It took Eva a moment, but she felt her face turn beet red when she caught onto what Imperator was hinting at. 

“I’ll trust that the two of you are being sensible?”

Oh no, she did _not_ come here just to receive ‘the talk’ from Imperator! Eva’s flush quickly spread down to her neck. She thought she was probably glowing like a beacon. They hadn’t even gotten to that part of their relationship yet!

“Of course, Sister. We are only here to make you aware of the changes to our relationship, working or otherwise. It is better that you know, in case…” 

“Yes, we don’t want another incident again, do we?” Imperator looked between the two of them, her stare lingering on Eva for longer than what she considered comfortable. _Incident?_ “You have my blessing.” 

“Thank you, Sister.” Omega gave her a nod. Imperator’s gaze fell on Eva again. 

“T-Thank you, Sister Imperator.” Eva was too caught up in her head to think about formalities. What was this incident? What had happened for the Church to feel the need to put _rules_ in place for relationships between Ghouls and humans?

Imperator dismissed them. Omega caught Eva’s attention when he stood from his chair and gave Sister Imperator another bow. Eva also stood, managing a small smile and some kind of half-assed curtsey. It would do. The pair let themself out of Imperator’s office. Once Omega had closed the door, he turned to Eva.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it? That makes us official.” He was grinning beneath the mask as he reached to take one of Eva’s hands. _Official_. Finally. Her heart fluttered, but she had something else on her mind as she looked up at her Ghoul. 

“There was an incident?” 

Omega’s smile faltered as he averted his eyes, though he kept holding her hand. 

“Yeah, an incident.” Omega confirmed, reluctant to give more information. 

“What kind of incident? When did this happen? How didn’t I know?” Eva had so many questions. 

“It was a _long_ time ago. Generations ago.” Omega laced their fingers together and began to lead the way away from Sister Imperator’s office. He released a heavy sigh. “We don’t talk about it much, but I am happy to tell you if you wish. It will have to be later, though, when we’re alone.” 

Eva frowned. “Okay.” 

“Do not worry, älskling. It was a very rare incident. I have only heard of it happening two or three times in all of my years here.” 

His words only made her worry further. This was going to play on Eva’s mind all day. 

“Can’t you tell me now?” She pushed. 

“You know I have things to do, as do you.” Omega stopped and turned to look at Eva. He released her hand, only to cup her face and glide his thumbs over her cheekbones. Eva stared up at him and huffed, already much too impatient. Omega could only laugh at her reaction.

***

To say the rest of the day was dragging would be an understatement. Both Sister Imperator’s and Omega’s words weighed heavily on Eva’s thoughts for the rest of the day, with the word _incident_ especially echoing throughout her mind. She continuously worried and stressed over what it could be. Why had she never heard about it? Why did it seem to be a secret of the Church? What happened for the Church to prefer Ghouls and humans announce their relationships to them?

Eva stared down at the book in front of her. Funnily enough, it was a volume on the history of the Church, but it didn’t seem to hold any of the answers she was looking for. She couldn’t remember Papa Nihil ever mentioning anything too horrible, either. Eva was fidgeting; her impatience causing her to grow restless. The young Ghoul seated beside her picked up on it. 

“What’s wrong?” Flare asked, his voice low as he cocked his head at her. 

“It’s nothing.” Eva spoke, her eyes still glued to the meaningless words in the book before her. Maybe Flare would know? She decided that asking him wasn’t a chance she wanted to take, so she chose to lie instead. “I didn’t sleep well last night.” 

“Well, this isn’t exactly the most entertaining thing to be doing.” Flare snorted. “Why didn’t you skip?” 

Eva shrugged. He had a point. She wasn’t taking anything in with her mind so busy, and there wasn’t even anyone here to supervise the fifteen or so clergy members who were gathered to all read on roughly the exact same thing. Still, if she had skipped, how would Eva have spent her time? She had nothing better to do while she waited for her time with Omega to come. All she could do was dwell on her thoughts while at least _trying_ to keep busy.

 

***

Finally, _fucking finally_ , Eva could see Omega again. They had both finished their duties for the day by now and Eva wasted no time in searching the halls and corridors of the old church. She was dying to know about this damned ‘incident’. Depending on the details of it, perhaps you could say she was morbidly curious. 

Eva caught sight of Omega, ahead in one of the corridors. He seemed to be heading in the direction of the Ghouls’ quarters. Eva hurried her pace to catch up to him and took a hold of his arm. Omega’s head swung round at her touch, but his eyes softened when he realised who had grabbed onto him. 

“Eva,” He smiled from beneath the mask. “How are you?” 

“Great,” Eva plastered on a bright smile. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all day.” 

“Mm, I wonder why that could be.” Omega chuckled, his hand laying against the small of her back. 

“I’m just curious.” Eva defended herself as they began to walk. She moved closer into Omega’s side. Once again, Eva was overcome with that stupid lovey-dovey feeling. It made her feel so dopey, that she likened it somewhat to a drug. 

“Of course. Though, I think curious would be an understatement, min älskling. Where to?”

Eva shrugged. “I guess we need some privacy, right? My room? Yours?” They didn’t need any other members of the clergy eavesdropping on _this_ kind of conversation. 

“Yours may be a better idea.” Omega commented, already leading her in the right direction. 

 

***

As soon as her bedroom door was closed, Eva was ready to pounce. 

“So, what’s this ‘incident’?” She asked, turning to find the Ghoul had already made himself comfortable on her bed. His shoes were kicked off and he was lounging back, his hands behind his head. 

Omega tsked at her. “You’re very patient, aren’t you?”

Eva mock-pouted at him as she crossed the room to her bed, sitting on the edge beside where Omega was laid out. 

“Alright.” Omega patted the space next to him. Eva obeyed and crawled onto the bed, nestling herself back into his side. She hoped that she wouldn’t fall asleep for this story. 

“What do you want to know?” Omega asked, once Eva had made herself comfortable beside him. 

“What, where, how, why, when.” She answered. 

“Okay, so… When? As I said earlier on, it was many years ago. The exact date slips my mind, but we are easily talking two to three hundred years ago.” 

Eva’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open into a small ‘o’. Of course she knew that Papa and the Ghouls were _old_ , but she had always been blissfully unaware of just how old they were, never bothering to spend too much time thinking about it. 

“Where? Right here in this very church, of course.” 

Why was he skipping the juicy details? Eva wanted the _what_ , but she wasn’t going to interrupt him. 

“What?” _Finally_. “And also why, I guess.” Omega sighed. “Sometimes, Ghouls can go into... Heat.” 

Eva’s eyes widened even more. _Since when?_

“But that is an incredibly rare occurrence. It’s usually the younger Ghouls, but they’re lucky — or more like _unlucky_ — if it even happens _once_. Despite what you may think, it isn’t a pleasant experience. It hurts. It burns. It makes us Ghouls become… Rabid. If you think we’re dangerous beings now, you haven’t got a clue what it would be like to see one of us in heat. It can be life threatening for humans, as we’ve sadly discovered.” 

Eva stayed silent, allowing Omega to speak while she took in all of this new information. _So they fucked them to death?_ The thought was crude, but she couldn’t wrap her mind around it. 

“Ghoulettes can handle it well. They’re built for it. They’re our kind. Humans, obviously, are not. There have been Ghouls in the past with human mates who haven’t been so lucky. Most of them are fine, when this ever happens. Usually they’re bitten up, scratched and sore, but they can function. Maybe even spend a night or two in the infirmary.” 

Omega paused and Eva looked up at him, trying to read him through the mask. His big blue eyes scanned the room as he considered his next words. 

“A couple of times, humans have been… Destroyed. Near enough shredded. They die a truly terrible death, in all sorts of pain, at the hand of the very Ghoul that they love. When a Ghoul is in heat, a human would never be able to defend themselves. That’s why we have that weird little rule now about declaring our relationships. It’s to protect the human, more than anything else, but also if we were to get any shit from anyone. In the past, there have been relationships that went on in secret, until a body — if you could call what was left a body — was discovered. The Ghoul immediately gets killed.” 

Eva’s face had paled and she felt ill as graphic thoughts and imaginations passed through her mind. Her eyes stayed fixed on Omega. Her Omega. Her sweet, caring, protective Ghoul — he could never, could he? 

“Have you ever…?” Eva dared to question. 

“Gone into heat? Twice. Many years ago, and both times on my own. That was a whole other type of awful experience, but at least I didn’t murder anyone.” Omega laughed, though it was a bitter one.

Eva gulped. She couldn’t imagine Omega in such a state. He was just so _good_. 

“Is that the only way you can—” Eva paused to consider her own question. She felt rude asking about how Ghouls had sex.

“No,” Omega knew where her question was going and he couldn’t help a laugh. “No, definitely not. Having sex and going into heat are different. Obviously they’re similar acts, but there’s still quite a contrast. Fucking someone won’t trigger anything.”

“How does it happen?” 

“Usually we pick up on the scent of another Ghoul or Ghoulette who’s already at that point, and _then_ it starts. If the Ghoul is young enough, it can happen by itself.” 

Eva fell into silence. This was a lot of new information to take in. It wasn’t really the nicest thing to be hearing, either. She found it hard to imagine. She was surprised she hadn’t heard of this before.

“Did I scare you?” Omega asked, as he removed a hand from behind his head and carefully wound his arm around her shoulders. 

“No, not at all.” Eva still looked pale. “It sounds like a horrible thing to have to witness — when it goes wrong, especially. I can’t imagine that happening to you. It’s hard to picture.” 

“Yeah, it’s a harrowing experience.” Omega agreed. “I don’t think the Church _intends_ to keep such accidents a secret, but they would much rather forget about it. We all would.”

The two of them laid in comfortable silence, while Eva’s mind buzzed away. It must be a dreadful thing to go through, let alone if you’re a human on the receiving end. _Especially_ if you’re a human who loses their life to a Ghoul in heat. Eva thought about what a mess it would be. If it was as bad as Omega described… 

She squeezed her eyes shut. Eva didn’t particularly want to think about the blood and guts of past clergy members. She couldn’t decide if she was glad that she had asked about it or not. In future, it might be a good idea to not be so eager to ask about events from the past that were very rarely, if at all, spoken about. Curiosity killed the cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comin' at ya with some of my headcanons. Don't mind me.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sister Eva goes looking for more answers from Omega.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies! Sorry for the late update. I had a busy and tiring start to last week and by the end of it I'd come down with a nasty bug. I'm feeling more alive today so the overdue update is here! 
> 
> Also, this is another chapter with some of my headcanon-y bs, but it should be the last one like that (in case anyone isn't that keen on them).

A week later, Eva found herself searching _yet again_ for Omega. Now that they were actually together, he wasn’t all that difficult to find — but they still lived in a big, old church, with many corridors, stairways and rooms. The very building which they resided in remained an obstacle.

So far, Eva had searched everywhere except for three areas of the church. The part of the church that housed the Ghouls, the basement and the large rehearsal room. Eva didn’t think Omega would be in his room at this time of the day, so she didn’t bother to go that way. The basement… She’d heard stories. Stories of horrific things; of Ghouls of another kind, of ghosts and demons and other sorts of hauntings, as well as people disappearing if they ventured down there, never to be seen again. Others said that the basement was where past clergy members had been sent to be disposed of. That the ghosts were malicious and belonged to them, enticing and seeking revenge. Eva was fifty-fifty on the matter. A part of her believed it was all nonsense; it was mainly Sisters and young clergy members getting excited and scaring one another. Spooky stories _were_ always fun to tell, afterall. The other part of her didn’t want to find out. If there even was a tiny percentage of a chance any of those goings on were real, she would rather remain blissfully unaware. Eva liked this church. She didn’t need to have her thoughts and feelings on her home to be tainted. 

Eva found herself stopped outside a doorway. More specifically, the one which led you down the steep staircase into the basement. She had paused with her hand on the doorknob, giving it a brief thought and then finally turned away, making her way through the church once more. The basement _really_ did not concern her. She didn’t even know how far it went on for. 

Eva meandered through the church in her search for the rehearsal space. She never needed to go in there, so she could never entirely remember exactly where it was. Maybe she needed to ask someone. Every now and then, Eva would stop, to see if she could hear the sounds of music, of a band practicing or even a single guitar — but that was no use, as the room was of course soundproofed. 

She continued to follow the route that she believed would lead her to her destination. Soon enough, she took a turn and reached a section of the church that was less busy. Eva knew she was on the right track. There wasn’t often anyone hanging around the part of the church that housed the rehearsal space, storage and tech. There was no reason for them to be here unless they were required to be, or were obviously the band themselves. And Eva wasn’t currently required, either, but she required someone else. That was a good enough reason in her eyes. 

Eva entered a wider corridor and paused. If she counted the doors, she thought she might be able to remember which one it was. Once again, she stopped to listen for any music. Nothing. Eva huffed to herself. He might not even be here, but it was worth a try. Anyone would think she had a desperate matter that needed Omega’s attention, but she was only hunting him down to ask him something. It was silly, when she thought about it, but it was important to her. 

Eva stopped at the third door down and knocked quietly. No answer. She decided to go ahead and open it anyway. 

She was met with a tiny bare and dusty storage cupboard. Wrong door. 

Eva frowned to herself when she closed the door, unable to suppress a small sneeze which was triggered by the dust. She stepped forward a few more steps to the fourth door and didn’t bother to knock this time. She could have sworn— 

Bingo. So it was the _fourth_ door. Eva took note for future reference. 

She popped her head into the room, peeking around the door. Silence. She let her eyes scan the well lit room and — there he was! _Finally_. Eva couldn’t help a smile as she stepped into the room, making sure to quietly close the door behind her. Omega hadn’t noticed her yet. He was perched on the edge of the small stage with his guitar resting in his lap as he focused on changing one of the strings. 

“Hi.” Eva spoke quietly once she had reached him. Omega’s head snapped up and he blinked at her a couple of times, before smiling from beneath his mask. 

“Hej. What are you doing here?” 

“Looking for you, actually.” Eva sat herself down beside Omega. 

“For me? What’s up?” Omega’s attention had well and truly been drawn away from his guitar now. 

“I wanted to ask you something, that’s all.” 

He blinked again. “You came all the way down here just to ask me a question?” 

“Don’t say it like that!” Eva laughed gently, nudging at the Ghoul with her elbow. “It’s _important_.” 

“Important? Has something happened?” Omega’s eyes had widened and he turned himself so he could face Eva better. 

“No, everything’s okay, just — remember that talk we had? Last week?” 

Omega stopped to think. “Yeah…?” 

“Well, it got me thinking. Not about what you told me, but it got me thinking that I want to know more about Ghouls in general.” 

“You want to know more about Ghouls?” He sounded seriously _stumped_ , as if he couldn’t believe what Eva had just said. 

“Yeah,” Eva shrugged her shoulders, starting to realise how silly her request may have been. It probably wasn’t important at all. “Is that not allowed?” 

“Of _course_ it’s allowed! I just didn’t expect you to come all the way down here to ask me something like that. Have you ever even been in here?” 

“Once, I think. It took me a minute to find my way.”

“Well, alright,” Omega was the one to laugh this time. “What did you want to know?” 

“I don’t know, I just realised that I don’t really know anything about Ghouls, you or otherwise. I just want to know more, I think. I want to know who you are, where you came from, _why_ you’re here, you know?”

“So like last time, more than just one simple question.” Omega grinned, a cheeky twinkle in his eye. 

Eva decided there and then that they didn’t need to even have this conversation right now. Instead, she would be perfectly happy to just sit there and get lost in his eyes. It wasn’t the first time the thought had struck her, nor would it be the last. Eva felt her cheeks flush and she quickly tore her gaze away from his, her eyes falling on his guitar instead. _Such a beautiful instrument_. 

“Yeah. It’s one question but it’s in depth? So there’s mini questions to it. Something like that. I don’t know.” Eva knew she was rambling. She let her eyes continue to roam the glossy black guitar, from the bridge up to the very top of the fretboard, where Omega’s fingers were curled around the neck. The amount of times she had been hypnotised by him on stage with this very guitar… 

“Well, I’m finished with this now, anyway,” Omega looked from Eva to his guitar and back to Eva again, once he noticed where her attention fell. “And I think this guitar might be a bit of a distraction, so do you want me to put it away?” 

Eva’s head snapped up at his question. She wanted to say _no_ , actually, but it was his guitar and not her place to say, but it _was_ a really pretty instrument and he may have been correct in calling it a distraction, _but also_ she didn’t get this close to any of his guitars very often. In short, Omega was right, but Eva still wanted to admire the guitar from up close for once. 

Instead of answering, she shrugged her shoulders. Omega cocked an eyebrow at her and decided not to budge. The guitar would stay put for now. 

“Where did you want me to start? Also, would you like to hold it?”

Eva stared at Omega, dumbstruck. _What?_

Omega tilted his head at Eva and then gently raised his guitar, placing it in her lap instead. Eva had the same dumbstruck look on her face, even as her attention returned to the guitar. 

“You asked as if it’s a bab— Oh, it _is_ your baby, that’s why.” 

Omega _snorted_ at Eva. It was safe to say he was highly amused by her reaction. “Yeah, I guess so. I trust you, as long as you don’t drop it. Now, where would you like me to start?”

Eva was no musician, but she could still appreciate all the different instruments in the world — especially one of _Omega’s guitars_. Eva slid her fingers up the neck of the guitar, her other hand skirting along the edge of the body. She shivered, before looking back up at Omega again once her fingers had closed around the neck. Eva felt giddy, all because of a guitar. This was a blessing to her. 

“Start wherever you think is best.” She shrugged again. 

Omega’s eyes flickered to the guitar, then to his bare hands in his lap. He made himself comfortable as he thought about where to start. Ghouls had a very long history. Maybe they should’ve pulled up a couple of chairs for this. 

“Okay. Some of us are summoned. Some of us are raised.” 

“Which one were you?” Eva raised an eyebrow. She’d heard of Ghoul summonings, but never witnessed one. Nor had she witnessed a Ghoul being raised. 

“Me? I was summoned. The entirety of the band was summoned. Most of us at around the same time. Alpha and I, in particular, have been brothers since day one.” 

Eva smiled at his words. _Brothers_. 

“We’re summoned through a ritual, but I’m sure you knew that much already. Most of the time, all goes well. Then there’s the other few times where something in the ritual isn’t quite correct, or someone says the wrong word at the wrong time and… There’s consequences. Those Ghouls are usually impossible to tame and are immediately banished from this world.” 

Eva’s creative imagination was coming into play again as Omega spoke. She wondered what these Ghouls would be like. Would they look like a typical Ghoul, would they be bigger, smaller, or would they be something else entirely? Were they banished to hell, or somewhere else? Were they maybe even killed? 

“Clearly, we learn human behaviours, but the ones who are raised are the most human-like. If kits are born in the church, they’ll always be around humans, so they adapt as they grow. For Ghouls who are summoned, it can take longer. I wouldn’t say it’s difficult to fit in. Only that some of us forget to tame ourselves while around humans, and I suppose some of our behaviours can come across as odd.” Omega chuckled at the end of his sentence. 

Eva thought about one of her new friends, Flare. Maybe that was why he always seemed so full of energy? Kind of like when you let the air out of a balloon and it whizzes around the room. That’s how she would describe him. 

“Who performs the ritual?” Eva asked. 

“Usually the Papas. Always Nihil, sometimes Sister Imperator, and whichever son he calls on. Sometimes some of us are there for it, too. We don’t really partake. We only keep a watchful eye as the Ghoul is summoned, to make sure they’re okay and everything is going smoothly. There hasn’t been a ritual of this sort in a _very_ long time, though.” 

“When were you summoned?” 

Omega grew silent and fell back into thought for a moment. Eva could tell he was hesitant to answer. 

“I don’t know the date, I don’t know the year. I just know I’ve seen a lot of shit in my time. My old brain is failing me. If I time it in generations of humans, well… Generations ago would be an understatement. I remember the plague. The Christians were already here. I know there’s a large gap in time there, but that’s as much as I can narrow it down for now.”

_Holy fuck._ Eva stared at Omega with widened eyes, her fingers tightening around the neck of the guitar as she let the information sink in. Her mind couldn’t even _comprehend_ what he had just said. Omega noticed her stunned reaction and he fidgeted a little where he was sat, uncomfortable with the information he had just revealed. He wasn’t hung up about his age, not at all. He knew that humans found it hard to understand.

“Yeah, so… In short, I was summoned a long time ago? Well, Alpha too.” The Ghoul awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck. Eva snapped herself out of her daze. 

“Fuck,” She spoke softly at first. “I can’t even imagine all the shit you must have seen. I can’t even think of what it must have been like. That’s… It’s kind of badass, but also worrying to think about.” 

Omega hadn’t expected Eva to have a positive reaction. He sighed with sheer relief. 

“Where are you summoned from?” Eva continued to question Omega, as if he hadn’t just revealed he was _ancient_.

“Where do you think?” Omega smirked beneath the mask. He thought this one may have been obvious, but Eva really was clueless about his kind. He studied her face as she thought about it, before she shrugged a single shoulder. Omega’s eyes darted down to the floor. Eva emitted a loud gasp.

“ _Hell?_ ” 

“Don’t say it like it’s such a dirty word. Do you realise which Church you joined?” 

“Do you know—”

Omega couldn’t help himself when he interrupted Eva with a laugh. 

“Nope, never even seen him with my own eyes. There are different depths to Hell. For all I know, for all any of us know, he may not even exist.” 

Omega spoke so _casually_ about all of this. Meanwhile, Eva’s mind was spinning with all this new information. But still, she was yet to view her Ghoul in a different light. This only made her feel like she was being drawn in even closer to Omega. His history seemed so interesting. 

“Do you remember what it was like?” 

“We don’t retain many memories from before we were summoned. Nothing that isn’t important. So no, not really. Dark, dim, hot. That’s about all.” 

“So, how are your elements assigned?” 

“We were given them. It dictates mostly what uses we will have in the band. A certain element for a certain role, you know? I guess we are baptised with them, in a way. Though I have noticed in more recent years, when kits are born, they can be born with a certain element. Our kind must be evolving.” 

Eva could _not_ get enough of learning about the Ghouls. She was eagerly taking in every single word Omega said, storing it away in her mind, hopefully never to forget any of it. Why couldn’t they learn this when joining the Church?

“Why don’t they tell us about Ghouls when we join the Church?” There it was. 

“It’s deemed as unimportant. I agree. Ultimately, we have absolutely zero influence on the Church. We are only here to serve, much like our human members are. Ghouls don’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things.” 

Eva frowned at that answer. Omega might agree, but _she_ didn’t. She thought Ghouls were important. They were incredible beings, at least to her. And they seemed _very_ important and valuable to the Church! 

“Are there Ghouls anywhere else in the world?” 

“No. We only exist here.” 

“How do you… What determines your form?” 

“What determines the form that humans take?” 

When Omega turned Eva’s question on her, she realised how silly it sounded. 

“What about when a human and a Ghoul have a… A kit? Is it still a kit if it’s part human?” 

“Ghouls have dominant genes. More than likely, yes, the kit, will be born looking just like one of us. There are also human kits, which are the ones that will surprise you. Something that seems so human behaving like a Ghoul? That’s always amusing to witness.” Omega ended his sentence with a soft chuckle. Eva was beginning to believe he _had_ seen it all. 

“And you’re immortal?” 

“I’m… Unsure. I don’t think so. Will I still be here in another thousand years? Who knows? There are many brutal ways for us to be killed.” 

Eva frowned. She didn’t like that answer. The idea of something bad happening to Omega, or even _any_ of the Ghouls she had grown to know and love, made her feel sick to her stomach. 

“And the masks?” As if she didn’t know the answer already. 

“To fit in with the humans. To protect our identities. The world would not react well to our kind. Besides, the feigned anonymity aspect of it all is always fun.” 

“Your eyes look human. Are they, you know, _your eyes_?” 

“They’re my eyes, yes,” Omega laughed. “We do share a few physical traits.” 

“I’ve heard rumours. Do you _actually_ have a tail?” 

Omega was stunned into silence, momentarily frozen. He didn’t like that question. 

“Sorry, I hope that wasn’t rude. Like I said, it was only something I had heard.” Eva’s face flushed again and she looked down at the guitar, still placed across her lap. She skimmed her fingers over the length of the strings softly to distract herself. She was enjoying the weight of the instrument in her lap. It felt grounding. 

“No, it’s fine. I didn’t expect you to have _heard_ such a thing,” Omega sighed, turning his face to watch Eva carefully inspect his guitar again. “Yes, we do have tails. We hide them for obvious reasons. Humans. Also, to keep them safe. A lot of people pass through this church and it does hurt to have someone step on your tail.” 

Eva looked at him once more, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. She couldn’t help herself from scanning her eyes down the length of his back quickly. “Can I see it one day?” 

“One day, of course.” Omega returned her smile, his eyes flickering down to the guitar again. Eva followed his gaze, to notice she was still absently skimming her fingers up and down the strings, too gentle to make any noise. 

“Sorry.” She snatched her hand back. 

“No, no, you’re fine. Do you have any other questions for me today?” 

“Can you ever leave the Church?” She initially thought she was done, but apparently not. 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Okay,” She pursed her lips, before meeting Omega’s eyes with another smile, brighter this time. “I guess we’re both stuck here together, then.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sister Eva and Papa III's relationship is on the mend. Omega has a nice proposition for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I've been away for a while, and I'm so sorry! My health took an awful downward spiral and I contracted a life threatening illness for a hot minute, only about a day or so after my last update. I couldn't focus on anything for most of my recovery time, and I definitely did not forget about this fic, I was just stupidly unwell and in and out of hospital every week.
> 
> This update is shorter — about half as long in word count as I like my chapters to be — but I really just want to get an update out and get back into the swing of things.
> 
> Anyway, luckily I beat that shit, am still here and alive to tell the story (literally) and have began to finally gain my energy back, so here I am! I'm super sorry for leaving all you lovely readers hanging, and I hope you forgive me, even with a shorter update!

Eva found herself in the chapel, sat in one of the empty church pews. The chapel wasn’t in daily use, usually only being filled to host important ceremonies, but it was always open for anyone who fancied wandering in. Eva usually visited the chapel whenever she felt like she needed some peace and quiet. One could even say she came here to meditate, in a way. To clear her mind, breathe freely and ground herself. 

She liked to sit by herself, looking up at the many large stained glass windows that depicted a part of history. She knew the story well by now, but she never grew tired of the art. And when the sun was out and shining bright, she adored the many colours that the glass cast onto her surroundings. She would call the chapel one of her happy places. There were no bad memories here. Just peace, light and warmth. 

And if anyone needed her? She could easily be found. Her peers knew that she came to the chapel to relax. It wasn’t as if she went missing and anyone panicked over where she could have gotten to. Eva was still reachable. She hadn’t gone very far. The chapel was central to the church, although it was located along the back of the building, hence the big, beautiful windows. Since it was within the old church, side-chapel may be a more accurate term. 

Eva sat with her head tilted slightly back and her eyes closed, letting the light through the various tones and colours hit her face. She had taken her grucifix off, only to fiddle with it in her lap. She needed something for her hands to do, if she was going to sit somewhere for so long. Her fingers skimmed along the chain and the grucifix itself, as if it was her own set of rosary beads. Except, she had no prayers to recite. Eva didn’t even know how long she had been in here, but it was long enough for the wooden pew she was sat on to start to become uncomfortable. 

She was aware of someone entering through the doors of the chapel, but paid no mind. Eva could hear their footsteps growing closer, but honestly, she was too zoned out to care. It was only going to be another member of the clergy, maybe seeking their own peace of mind. 

A shadow loomed in front of her, blocking the light that the gorgeous windows let in. Eva frowned. When the shadow didn’t budge after a few more seconds, she finally opened her eyes. And almost bolted upright from her seat.

She didn’t see Papa as often anymore, for obvious reasons. So he was the last person Eva expected to see.

“Papa—” Eva made a move to stand up, but he stilled her by shaking his head and putting a hand out. 

“No, you stay there. I was passing the chapel and didn’t expect to see you here. I haven’t seen you in here for a while, in fact.” 

Eva lowered her eyes, her hands still fiddling with her grucifix. Although her mental health issues seemed new to both her and Papa, she had other struggles when she had joined the Church. Working so closely alongside Papa meant that she had confided in him often and he knew about her original struggles with settling in. 

This was the place where Eva used to go to sulk about leaving her old life behind and beginning a new one, even if it was for the better. Beginning a new path in life was never easy. It wasn’t even as if she had left much behind in her “old” life — a job that became boring, a small apartment, few family and friends. The people had been the hardest to leave, but Eva knew both that her choice would be difficult but also be the right one. Luckily, she had been correct in her past assumptions. 

“It’s nice in here. I like it.” Eva tried to defend herself. It wasn’t a lie. She _did_ really like it in the chapel. 

A faint smile appeared on Papa’s lips and he took a seat next to her. 

“But you are okay, yes, Sister?” 

“I’m fine, yes. Thank you for checking on me, though. I appreciate it.” Eva looked up from her grucifix to her leader, unable to help her own smile. It was nice to be able to speak with him again without any ill feelings. A part of her would continue to miss whatever weird thing they had going on, but she was more than happy to have a normal relationship with him. A working, platonic one. Now the tension had died down, things between them felt good. It felt right. Maybe the shitstorm needed to happen a long time ago. 

“And…” Papa paused, a moment of hesitation passing through his eyes. “You are okay… In general?” 

“Everything’s good. I’m only here today to reminisce. Thank you again.” 

Papa eyed her for a moment, before his smile widened, he gave her knee a gentle pat and got to his feet, leaving Eva alone once more as he made his way back out of the chapel. She figured her time here was up, too, so she hung the grucifix back around her neck, stretched her legs out in front of her and stood up. Eva brushed her hands over her habit and then stepped out from the church pews, before she began to follow the path that Papa had just taken out of the chapel. Maybe Eva was naïve, after all the hurt Papa had caused her, after all the hurt and upset _she_ had caused in return, but she still felt like she would do anything for him. In her eyes, he was still a good man, and she still easily placed her trust within him.

***

Eva had barely made it back to her room when she heard her name being called from somewhere behind her. 

Of course, she would know that voice anywhere, so she couldn’t help but turn around with a smile. 

“Eva.” The tall Ghoul abruptly came to a stop in front of her. Surely he hadn’t just _ran_ to catch up with her. 

“Omega,” Her smile soon turned into a toothy grin. “Hi. What’s the rush?” 

“ _Well_ ,” Omega clapped his hands together in front of him before turning his head left and right, looking back over both of his shoulders as if to make sure the two were alone. “I was wondering…” 

Eva raised an eyebrow at him. She didn’t think she’d ever seen Omega just _stall_ on his words before. His eyes darted side to side before he regained his composure again, tucking his hands behind his back and standing up straighter. Eva had to stifle a giggle. Maybe he _wasn’t_ always so prim and proper. 

“I was wondering if you would like to come to dinner with me. And maybe see a movie?” 

Eva had to blink at him a few times. Did he really just ask her on a _date_? She felt her cheeks growing warmer as Omega patiently waited for her answer. Now Eva was the flustered one. 

“I’ve never asked a human…” 

“Of _course_ I’d like that. Both of those options.” Eva really hadn’t meant to interrupt him, but she was honestly stunned. 

“Okay, good,” There was a slight squint to Omega’s eyes, evidence of his smile beneath the mask. He cocked his head at her. “Is… Is tonight okay with you?” 

“Absolutely.” Eva was grinning again, like an idiot now. She thought it was cute that Omega, in all of his years, had _never_ asked a human on a date, or presumably anything of that sort before. And though they were officially an item now, she still felt totally honoured by his proposal. Eva was certain she would never get over the feeling of being lucky to have him. Lucky that he chose her. And tonight? She couldn’t think of a better way to spend her time. 

“Great! Um,” Omega paused in thought. Eva really wanted to see if he could be blushing under the mask. Did Ghouls blush? “How about 8pm?”

“8pm is wonderful, Omega.” Nevermind seeing if Ghouls blushed, Eva just wanted to yank his mask up and give him a sweet ol’ kiss at this point. 

“Good. So, it’s… It’s a date. Don’t you worry about anything, I’ll send someone for you when the time comes.” Omega seemed less flustered now. He was smiling once more. 

“Okay, sure. 8pm. Perfect.” Eva nodded her head, unable to resist stepping closer to him, snaking her arms around his middle and then resting her head against his chest. She allowed herself to close her eyes and enjoy the brief moment, knowing that even as Omega ran his hands over her back, it would only last a few seconds. 

“I’ll see you then.” Omega said, before sure enough, stepping away from her. He gave her a little wave and turned on his heel to leave her. He was a busy Ghoul, so their passing moments in the day never lasted very long. Eva could wait, though. Tonight, it would be just the two of them. Their _first date_. Maybe it was silly that Eva loved spending time with him so much. She wouldn’t say she _relied_ on him for happiness, but when he was around, he seemed to make her life better. She knew that she was biased towards him and had been for a very long time, since before any of this between them had started. Probably before they started to even _greet_ one another. 

Eva couldn’t help the little excited bounce that was now in her step and had to refrain from outright skipping.


End file.
